1/10
I used to hate when my mom leaves me with my mattumma alone. We watched TV programmes together ofcourse we fighted for remote most of the time. Mattumma is a big fan of serials,I used to remember my big sisters crew enjoying hindi serials with Mattumma, while I wondering what they saying hahaha...I hardly understands it through actions. One day evening mattumma wants the remote for putting number 4 on TV, but I was very naughty child I said no no no. She got angry and she slapped on my face that hurts a lot in my heart still. I have a beautiful relation with my mattumma but the onething is that slap I would like to erase from my book of memory. Now I am hundred times ready to give remotes and leave her watch whatever she likes... but I can't ...she is no more asking remotes...
" You can't change the past but you can decide what's next make beautiful memories "
2/10
Mattumma is a beautiful woman with redlips no she didn't wear makeups it's called 'vethilachop' chop means 'chuvapp'/ 'red'.vethila is a leaf which in ancient times people used to chew with 'chunnab' 'pokaila' 'adakka'. Method is take a leaf cut stem clean it spread chunnab put a piece of pokaila and adakka fold leaves and enjoy chewing. After sometime you can spit red colour juices with style by placing 2 fingers on mouth.
Outside veranda I can still remember the tiny red spots which dropped while she spitting through the gills ,it can scare everyone mistakening blood.She used to sit most her time on "ko-chi" aka sofa bed.while sitting on ko-chi you can see main gate of our house,neighbouring 3houses,vehicles passing on the roads,kids playing sometimes,adults chilling on a broken post which painted by yellow colour.Mattumma loves "kaivarthe" means bananachips. My mom will always says go and say to navikaka arakilo(halfkg) kaivarthe(bananachips) when my mom spots them sitting on post with friends.There's one festival happening "kattilepalli nercha" mosque located in pappinsseri, the story behind the nercha is one women gave birth to 3 child in that place and died later people build a mosque and believed that infertile couple will get kids while giving money as nercha to that mosque in away business tricks ,poor people believes there are still so many who believes like that,Its like festive area when it's nercha time with lots of mini shops,candies,toys for kids. I remember visiting that place with Mattumma very crowded place kids crying,playing,lots of pardha peoples,peacock feather taping by saying dikr, green cloth covered gravestone some people doing duas talking to them child inside me wondering whats this?? My happy part is buying toys and special kattilepalli candies, there is one white sugar candy which has beautiful flower print on it which I used to take to school for my friend's also. Then there is puffedrice which is very yummy snack when mixed with coconut and sugar...memories still mouth watering.That trip was my first jeep ride in my life I think. I don't know why she used to visit that place.
she believed in onegod only.Peoples are the one who changes a person's mind and injects wrong thoughts which we cannot be re do.
"Whatever message you pass to a person should be right one"
3/10
Mattuma gave birth to ten kids,two of them died just after birth.In olden days people used to give birth at homes by the help of a nurse,my mom also gave birth to my big brothers from our home itself later hospital delivery started.Now I'm a mom of two I wonder how they managed from home so scary right.In away it's a nice thing pregnant woman can rest and feel home and relaxed in the labour process,when you think you're in labour just give a call or go and pick the nurse. As I am the last child, I didn't saw any of my grandfather's. I just got the grandparents love from my mattumma only. My uppuma(fathers mom) died when I was 2years old I think .Whenever I asked about uppuma ,everyone tells me I look like uppuma. Mattumma is a bold character where my uppuma is so sweet character like my father. I have six uncle and one aunt.In which now alive is only four uncle and my mom.In olden times people are not planning about pregnancies and all so every child of mattumma is having only one year gap. Giving birth in every year taking care of every child in a small hut like home with little facilities, and managing family with lots of boys is very toughest thing. My uncle shares a story that is- when they were teenagers they went to watch movies with friends without asking mattumma why because if asked she will not allow. When they came back home late night house will be locked they have to sleep on steps whole night.On that time the sleeping uncle was little darker in colour (echikaka),when the other one arrives he got scared in the dark seeing something dark thing laying on the step .Echikaka says when mattumma is carrying me she used to cook in "adupp" (wooden fire stove) only with full of black smokes,that's why I am black. I think mattumma became bold by raising very naughty boys. Controlling and showing good path to kids is very hard in older times and now also.All kids of Mattumma are in good positions now. The one who is suffering is the one who made himself suffer. You can guide,you can show examples, but you can't see rest of their life how they will live. Mattumma is a good mother,may almighty grand her jannah.
"What's in a colour the only thing matters is your heart, make it bright "
4/10
In every houses every grandmothers are out of table. I think they started giving privacy to new couples when their daughters are married off. It all started with "ningal maplayum beedarum kayikk"(Couples have together) we elders will eat later. Now in every house if there is grandmom u can see them sitting separately eating their food alone. Why like that they are the one who feeds you when you're child, now you have someone else to feed ,you keep them aside by giving excuses like they need lots of time to eat or like they don't like to sit together. They are the one who waited for so long when you takes lots of time to complete a meal. They never let you feel lonely when they are around always. Mattumma used to sit with us when my father is not sitting. She was like "pyapla kayikkatt ennit mattumma irikka" . When we get older our teeth will fall off soon after eating becomes slow. Mattumma has greatest toothache she used to cry when toothache comes, she found relief by applying red tiger balm on gums. When I am married off I saw a grandmother who sits to eat alone in the kitchen only,who has her own time for meals,who is living in the house but not together as family. Its was very hard for me to digest why because in my house when mattumma refused to sit with my father we someone will be there waiting to eat with Mattumma. Nowadays people are very busy they don't have time to look around,don't have time to speak but have time to spend on socialmedias. Respect and care elders. Which will come to you in future. May we all can change our table habits. Let's eat together and stay together happily.
" People who eats together stays together."
5/10
On a fine evening I was watching TV with my brother and sister, my mom sleeping in room,mattumma sitting on ko-chi. While watching TV if there is brother to watch with us then he will handle remote and its like ding ding ding jumping from one channel to another,watching two movies together kind of watching. Sister told me to check mattumma as she is sitting more time in ko-chi without coming to her room. There is to way to varanda one through dining room and one through stairroom. I went through stair room to kitchen, front kitchen I am seeing veranda floor full of blood mattumma vomited. I screamed everybody came ,my mother started crying we wiped her face with towel,we gave her water to drink we examined what she has vomited, its dark red in colour with some food particles. Mom brother went to hospital with Mattumma. Me and sister waited we got a call aftersome time that mattumma's BP becomes high and one side paralysed. Next day mattumma came to ho.e but bed ridden. We all cared her so much her son families,aunt families all came to visit her. When one son came he kept something under her pillow as my father is very strict in his beliefs he didn't tolerate such things. After uncle leaves home ,mom checked the pillow she found some arabic notes . My father is a pakka sunni he has madrasa also later he changed. My father is motivation for me always. He never said I am enough studied he always tries to learn more and changed alot .He found time to recite quran after coming from shop.
"We can change from our home not from society"
6/10
I sleep mostly with my father and mother. As I grow up I started to sleep with my sisters ,we have one sponge bed it's so comfy to sleep . Me and my elder one always fights for that bed at night ,she wins most of the times. Rarely I will be waking up with her on sponge bed. Days gone by sister moved to hostel for higher studies. Sponge bed fight ends.Sometimes I sleeps with Mattumma, one day I slept with Mattumma, woke up early brushed my teeth,roam around house simply, big sister on system calling her Saudi husband,mom making breakfast she asked me did mattumma wakes up? I said no . I go to check mattumma she is still sleeping my mom comes to wakeup her she is not responding. We all worried called my brother to come urgently ,and taken mattumma to hospital. Again BP high and condition worsened. I went to visit her at hospital she was lying on bed with lots of connections on her body, urinary bag,glucose . Visiting mattumma becomes a routine of my life ,one day after school I went to see with my mother. I felt a stomach pain I went to washroom I saw blood on my panties, I know about periods so I am cool but I m very discomfort with it .I show to my mom she was like its that you are big now. We went back home my aunt with Mattumma at hospital. As I am last child I am mostly alone at home so on that evening I wished if any of my sister is home to comfort me or to give me pad immediately. I put clothes on my panties as my home didn't have any packets of pad ,it was worst experience. Next day I got pad finally. "Padman" movie is must watch movie ,we all live in luxury and easy lifestyle by because results of somebodies struggles.
"Give value to each and every cotton or thread you wear. And count blessing on each pea you ate"
7/10
Mattumma ate food through food pipe,urinated through pipes, fully bedridden. I remember when she is having knee pain while walking from our home gate to inside there is a slope she used to hold my hand and give tight pressure which will hurt us but I likes it. Its so lovely experience to care elders they becomes like our child we feel like someone much bigger. We saw a girl for my brother from the hospital days of mattumma. Everything went well we planned nikah on March. Three sisters and one brother abroad with family, one sister at hostel,one brother and me only at home. Those days are like very lonely period only on weekends sister will come house will be alive. When she leaves she will pack her bags full of bakeries which I have digged my eyes on them,and mom special biriyanis. I love rain ,but I am scared of thunder ,lightning ,water .I tried to learn swimming from jukys, vismaya Park pools but failed completely. One time I tried to jump into pool and hitted bumb on the edge of pool still remember that pain. On a night, it's raining with thunder ofcourse current cut off, me watching TV in hall , I walked to mattummas room ,mom lighted candle and comes to mattummas room from kitchen. Mattumma talks alot on that times .I likes to feed her through pipes ,when I does that I feel like nurse inside. Sometimes I used to clean urinary bags also. On that night we three womans in a room sitting silently I breaked the silence by talking about something. It's raining heavier sounds hitting harder we scared little bit mattumma said recite surahs I recited and she said I will count one to ten then current will come .I know she said simply but I started counting and it's 8,9.....10 lights on I just jumped in happy and kissed her. She smiled,she has the beautiful smile,may be if you love a person more you can see most beautiful smile on the earth in that person. I sleeps with her on that bed and fell down at night ,that bed was little high bed,I got hurt and cried, and I think mom's are the best cuddles in the whole world. I loved to cuddle with Mattumma and my mom. Really I misses mattumma alot. We all should have the courage to play funny and find happiness in our bedridden days also.
"Don't let the child inside you to die"
8/10
There are so many troublesome days for mattumma, as I said earlier taking care of lots of son and lots of various decisions never let mattummas decisions to change. She has her own point of view in every decisions of her life. She choose to live with us, she never worried what will others think. She give values to her likes and dislikes. Mattumma is very comfortable with my mother and our home. She has done injustice in partition somebody will say, but what is justice in this world. Sharing equally? No , no one can give every penny in this world as measured to righteous. World is very injustice then why should we worry about justice in our life. Lots of girls still marrying a stranger man and giving morning as a wife is she ready did anyone asks her. She is forced to serve him and his world. Most of us are worried what will others think ,others say. We are living our life and they are living theirs ,we can adjust if they come in to our way no need of adjustment priortisely. Give always priority to self. The one who saying will always say whatever they likes we can't change them. One who suffering will be us for changing our likes for others. Live life to fullest, live happily. After you gone from this world your memory will last only two or three years then no one will hardly remember you they will be busy living their life. Only you can achieve your goals,your wishes, your rights in life.
"make life colourful and never regret."
9/10
My father is a businessman in town he take Of us all we were five sisters and two brothers. I never saw my father mother fighting, they used to talk alot. Most of the days I sleep in fathersroom if its anymuch late night they both talks about daily things and slept happily. Some days are there I sleeps in the middle of both wakes up in corner of bed. Now I understands how much I struggled them. When mattumma handover house to my mother ,father has a burden to give share amounts to my uncles and aunt. He gave and settled everything but still now the big house given to my mother is a problem for so many peoples. Still they says, still they had eyes on house, still they make my mother feel guilty. Still they are saying it is injustice. We can't change what people says what we can do is just six letter word to this world it is IGNORE and be happy. My father is my rolemodel, he has very much willpower, no one can defeat his desires, he has built a strong seven pillars where as my mother is emotionally very weak she can't manage her emotions she can be easily crumbled.
And yeah nikkah day vibes on full of workers running inside and out of house. Sisters went for shopping, Mattumma was shifted to aunts house which is nearby so that she can relax and not struggle in crowd. Nikah went well on March 19th after that bride came to our house like peekaboo to society ,why I still thinks actually nikah is important in our religion. So days passing by babhi becomes so close to us as well as to mattumma . She cares her, loved her. I think mattumma has the highest varieties of bahus in this world. Some are very sweet and kind some are flickering in character we can't predict what they will react. Mattumma is managing a big society in her life alone . We all starts life from our family and built another family right? What we have to focus is what we are giving to upbringing family of our future. We have to understand,experience and adjust sometimes.
"Understand that you are not perfect ,but you can start changing your imperfections to perfectionate for a beautiful family of yours only, you are making your world"
10/10
Mattummas body started to cracks as she is laying on bed most of the time. So we started using water bed that will help bedridden people to get cold on their backs which will reduce tearing of skin. Mother and me used to clean her with hot water somedays it's so painful for her while we cleans her back ,skin teared some shrieked dry skins ,we can see flush inside the skin watery pinkish flush. Bad odour comes from the dead skin and wounds we put little drops of dettol in cleaning water so that germs will die and odour can be reduced. That days memories are filled with that dettol and that skin odour from mattumma. The most unhelpful is a person who is physically weak . Human can be very energetic and powerful but without health he will become zero in his life.
Marriage in my House was the time I am so excited about why because my all abroad siblings will come and home will be in full of fun and active. So all booked tickets to India for wedding. Brother arrived earlier with family from abudabi, sister took long leave from college. Lots of work happening around painting,plumbing,sofa set making,curtains fixing. Me and my sister went to salon for hair cut, it's so nice to get pampered. We entered Queens salon its pretty much crowded ,sis knew that we have to take shampoo wash before going to salon ,so we have done shampoo day before, but no matter how many times we put shampoo they will say its oily need to wash.Actually its their business tricks so that they can take extra bill for it. So my hair wash begins tickling,good headmassage,lots of shampooing then they dried with cloth then cutting started I choose step cut after setting it looked awesome. My curly hair looked so volumetric and me shines like a star in that day. We returned to home we were so hungry as a wedding house food was not prepared kitchen works are in progressing. I got angry and cried my sister comes with cornflakes and vanilla ice-cream I refused to eat it. But later my ice melted I tasted that combo its so yummy. We all sits beside mattumma brother opened some choclate that he brought from abudabi, all talked mattuma coughing slightly. Mattumma talked little smiled, aunt came to visit my brother ,we all had tea and the day ends. Next day is mehendi day on july10 all works finished by evening. After asar prayer uncles came to visit wedding house mattumma was coughing that time hardly . I got scared they all said let's takes her to hospital, I spoked infront of everyone ignoring all elders speaking I said its fine she is coughing some mucus she will be OK no need to take to hospital. Someday before she used to cough like like then she is fine later. One of our family homeo doctor visited morning he said she will be fine nothing to worry. But all elders refused, they said they will just take and consult a doctor in hospital and come mattumma becomes little heavier which makes four people to carry her. They all recited la ilaha illa allah I got scared I screamed nothing will happen with teary eyes she will come after doctor consulting they will suck out mucus which is disturbing her then she will be okay. So she leaved our home in ambulance, so many peoples came with ambulance from neighbouring houses why because an ambulance getting inside an decorated wedding house is strange. My nephews give reasons to all and some leaves and some stayed . I have a cousin brother of my age he is fasting on that day when the mehendiday biriyani gets ready ammayi gives us food on table on magrib time, he has littl brother also so we three sitting and eating biriyani that time my aunts son came and rested on the door and said mattumma was gone my eyes filled up biriyani from my hand fell down tears dripped on my plates I stood up and left the dining room, I was going to washroom as I can't control what I have heard I saw so many staring peoples, sisters crying , mother and aunt comes home after sometime both were tired and half dead. Darkness filled inside home like that our hearts also fell into darkness ,we realised she was the glorious light of our home. Wedding house turned to funeral house in seconds outside decorations was the only thing which is extra but I think she is a queen who deserves such kind of farewell from this world. So many people shared their condolences but nothing can replace mattummas space. My eyes were swollen nose was bright red ball face is dried with salty tears. All reciting quran I recited continously four yaseen on that day. I went to kitchen for water, the kitchen were we all planned marriage things yesterday were filled with neighbours helping us going through the toughest time of our life. My kitchen had attached bathroom were we have smoke stove ,used for heating water in big pot. As I looked in to bathroom they were taking well water and filling pot for bathing mattumma for the last time. Tears fell down again and again I ran into mattummas room,my friend's arrived with their mother's who are supposed to come tomorrow for wedding. Friend's comforted me but I just broke down. So many people waiting to see mattumma for one last time then there she arrived in white clothes beautiful smiling face wrapped in white cloth around face two cottons in nose. People started seeing her I went to see she is laying in the hall were we used to fight most of the time for TV. Now TV is off neither of us caring where is remote. Mattumma covered in white looks like sleeping in laying bed coats without bed , legs of the coats are in mini cup filled with water . Oud was burning near the coat. I don't know how many times I saw her face by passing around her on hall, why? I don't know I want to see her again and again. After some time babhi came to our house with her mom and aunts, so sad I felt for her she is going to enter our house tomorrow in big warm welcome but God has another plans ,she is crying alot attachment that she had with Mattumma while she sneakpeak after nikah nobody knows, from that day our family ego circle sealed babhi as an overreacting glamorous girl. Mattumma was taken to washroom for bathing my mother accompanied with some other ladies. After bath also we will get a chance to see her again. Kitchen was crowded like if you take leg up you can't get space to step down. Me and sisters and aunt besides the door waiting. Why I don't know we people are the fellows who waste lots of time in our life simply ,if something scary or someone departed us we will praise God and remember him alot. And the door opens mattumma is beautifully wrapped again she is scented with beautiful fragrances. My mother said let my kids kiss so we all got a chance to kiss her, I love to kiss her as a youngest I do kiss alot to mattumma and my mother. Sister kissed and ran through the crowd to room next is me I looked at her lean towards her and kissed on her forehead, then I moved to Hall with blurry eyes. She was lied on hall side for last prayer we all prayed ,its so hard for us praying for our beloved infront laying. Tears rolled down cheecks, with lots of prayers she was taken outside our house I didn't went to see that scene .I went to my mother's room and lie down on the bed corner. I realised I slept whole night when I wakeup to the sounds of my other sister's crying, I didn't felt happiness I felt sad again that they didn't got to see mattumma for the last time they came for wedding but happiness was wiped out. Wedding day went deadly silent day we only sisters went to babhis house for taking her she was dressed up lightly. We all in older dress .Still had that day pictures bride is beautiful, we inlaws in home dress. After one month we dressed up and took a photoshoot for brother and babhi. Mattummas room is empty now, varanda coach is empty now,her only friends and not seen anywhere around,her fragrance is wiped away,her laughter can't be heard again. But she gift us lots memories. She comes in our dreams sometimes, last time I saw something like she is living somewhere else in this world.We miss you my love.