I awoke with a jolt the moment the sharp edge of the blade penetrated the thin skin of my back. I stared at the slowly rotating blades of my fan above my bed, my heart beating fast against my ribcage. Tired couldn't even describe how fed up I was with the same nightmares every single night for nine years now. I begun every day with my heart racing and my throat dry and sore from screaming through the whole night.
I raised a shaky hand to my face, swiping on my sweat coated forehead. His name was Lucius. He wasn't real but the hate I had for him was more than real . When he wasn't haunting me in my dreams he was haunting my memory when I'm awake. I would go from a free person in real life to a captive in my dreams. Lucius told me he loved me , he called me his queen. But no queen was kept in a dirty cage to starve. No queen was hunted like a wild deer and caught and tortured.
The nightmare I had just woken up from flashed through my mind , drawing a shiver out of me. It felt too real ...the pain ,the fear. It all felt so real. I was running through the thick forest I've been running through since I was ten, the blood colored full moon above following my hurried steps. I could practically feel his cold touch slithering over my skin , promising me of the pain to come. He always had a way of blending into the shadows, becoming one with them. And shadows were everywhere in my nightmares. My legs were burning with every single step I took but I couldn't stop. I wouldn't. It was foolish of me to think there was an escape from this man that haunted my dreams but I never stopped anyway , I still pushed myself to get as far away from him as I could. I could hear his cold laugh from behind me sending a river of ice down my spine. This was all this was to him , entertainment. A scream got ripped from my throat as a searing pain pierced through my back . My legs folded from the pain , leaving me sprawling on the moist forest floor littered with dead leaves and human bones. The pain felt so real , I could barely breathe through it .
"Oh my darling" Lucius whispered from above me.
A rough scream left my throat as he pulled out whatever weapon he had thrown into my back. Judging from how long the jarring pain lasted , he had shot an arrow.
" Let's go clean you up" He said softly, gathering me into his arms. A sob broke through my chest as he pulled me into his icy cold body.
"Please-" I begun to beg, knowing it wouldn't do anything to change his mind. I knew how it would go, he would take me back to his basement and lay me on that God forsaken metal table and carve his name unto my back. He never told me he was called Lucius... but I felt every alphabet he cut into my flesh. He told me putting his name on me would make me happier, such a psychopath.
Bile arose in my throat as I felt the phantom pain of what he did on my back even in the comfort of my own room. I sprinted to my bathroom as I felt the nausea overcome me as I retched the remaining of last night's dinner into the ceramic toilet I was hunched over. My ribs screamed in pain as I gagged again. I heard my front door squeak open and footsteps advance towards me.
"Are you okay Ellie?" My mom's voice sounded from the bathroom door.
"I'm fine mom" I sighed and leaned back. " Just a bad dream"
" I was thinking we could go for a last session before you move to college today.." She suggested.
" I'm fine mom" I said more firmly. " I already have my meds, I don't need another session." I would rather sit naked on a hot grill than to go sit in that torturous office for three hours with my therapist ,narrating ever gory detail of my nightmare.
" Okay then." I felt her comforting hand on my shoulder. " Breakfast is ready"
Without another word , I heard her footsteps retreat and my door shut. I stood on shaky legs and flushed the toilet , peeling my nightgown off my body that was practically soaked in my sweat. I stared at myself in the mirror in nothing but my black basic underwear. My gaze trailed over my pale skin on my torso littered in faded translucent scars. My mom didn't know how I got the scars, she thought I was self harming...cutting my own skin. Hence me starting therapy at an age of eleven. What she didn't know was that the scars just appeared, already healed. I didn't understand how it worked but a healed scar would appear on my skin when I woke up from a nightmare , exactly where I had been wounded in the dream. I couldn't tell her, she was already blaming herself for the dreams. The dreams started when my dad left when I was ten, no explanation...nothing. He just left. And my mom blamed herself for it. Telling her my nightmares had a manifestation in reality would break her even more.
I hopped into the shower after regulating the temperature. I scrubbed my skin until it felt red and raw under the steaming water.
I watched myself in my mirror as I dried myself off with a towel. My body wasn't anything special nor attractive per say. I was 'boring' as my ex put it ...right before he dumped me a month ago. I blamed myself for thinking he was gonna stick around when my response to anything sexual was "I'm not ready" ...well he cheated and that was the end.
I hurriedly pulled on my clothes and packed out the rest of the things I would be sending to college. Breakfast was quiet with a small conversation between my mom and little brother which I actively tried remove myself from. All too soon , we were all done with our plates of toast and scrambled eggs and my mom had to head to the hospital for her shift and I had to hit the road to college.
I inhaled my mom's homey scent for the last time as she gave me her last hug. I had lost count of the amount of times I had told her I'd be fine and the amount of times I've had to told her not to cry. She reluctantly let me go when Josh begun to complain about the traffic we'd be stuck in if we wasted more time.
" I'll be fine mom, I'll text you" I hugged her one more time before going to sit in the passenger's seat of Josh's car.
" Josh drive safely" My mom warned.
He mumbled his response and I definitely knew he wouldn't be driving safely. Soon enough, we were speeding down the asphalt with his horrid heavy metal playlist blasting through the speakers. I hadn't notice when I fell asleep against the cold window until I was jostled awake by my brother.
"We're here, wake up" He shook me again.
" I'm awake" I stretched in the cramped space. I rubbed my eyes and looked outside , taking in the ample greenery of the campus. A few people walked by in groups chattering and laughing. My stomach dipped when I realized I didn't have any friends and would be probably walking though campus alone as fuck.
We rolled to a stop in front of the dorm I was assigned to. An hour later, I had filled my housing documents and picked up my keys and all my stuff had been packed to the door of room. I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. A few seconds passed before the door swung open, revealing a girl with an edgy ethereal beauty .
" Hi" She smiled, tucking a strand of her jet black hair behind an ear.
"Hey...uhm, I'm supposed to be your new roommate" I smiled back. Her face was a stark contrast to her dressing style, she wore black ripped jeans and a black band Tee with numerous silver piercings along her ears but her face was warm and friendly.
" Oh yeah , come on in . You're a bit unlucky 'cause I was just about to head out but I can show you around real quick." She let me in with Josh trailing behind me with my bags.
"I'm Abby by the way" She introduced as she showed me the bathroom and the kitchen.
"I'm Elena but you can call me Ellie" I replied, watching as my brother hauled the rest of my bags into the moderate sized room.
"Nice meeting you Ellie....but unfortunately I've got to bounce. I'm gonna come back in the morning so you can lock up when going to bed yeah" Her light English accent was oddly comforting as she rushed to pick up her keys and make up, stuffing them into her tote bag. She gave me a quick hug before walking out leaving just Josh and I.
All too soon I was left alone. Josh had left also, with a departing kiss on my forehead. I've never been away from my family...and it was worse than I thought it would be. I focused on folding my things into the closet and laying my bed. The sun was setting and I had freshly showered about to slide into my comfy sheets and read a spicy romance book when a knock sounded on the door. I padded to the door and swung it open, expecting Abby to be standing there with a change of mind. Instead I was met with a very much male chest.
"Who the fuck are you?" A baritone voice sounded from above me . My eyes snapped up, clashing with fierce fiery orbs.
"Any problem?" I questioned back, my gaze never leaving his. I watched as his eyes flicked over my features, leaving me a bit self aware in the old Tee I wore to bed.
"I asked you a question." He was beginning to look heavily irritated.
"And you can fuck right off" I did a quick sweep of his features. This guy must be an asshole but he was definitely one good looking asshole. He seemed to stand a whole foot above me, his facial structure seemed to be carved by the gods himself , his dark mop of curly hair sat on top of his head, stray curls kissing his forehead and the tips of his ears. His nose was straight and strong and his plump rose colored lips sat in a grim line probably from annoyance. My eyes darted back with his , the intensity of his whiskey colored gaze making me dizzy for a second.
He took a step forward, forcing me to take one back. His scent wafted up my nose from how close he was. He smelled like a lemon tree that had freshly bloomed flowers, citrusy with a heady underlying note of sandalwood and rosewood. As much as this dude was annoying the living crap out of me , I'm not even going to lie ... he smelt heavenly. And I would have been swayed if it wasn't for the stare down we were having at the moment.
" Don't be foolish, step aside and let me in" He warned. Something told me to take his warning serious. He definitely looked like the guy that followed up on his threats. He had a certain energy around him that I couldn't quite place my finger on... but it reminded me of a snake, studying ...prowling, ever ready to strike. It reminded me of the energy that surrounded Lucius in my nightmares.
"First of all, I will be whatever the hell I want to. Secondly I'm not dumb enough to let a stranger into my room. So kindly back the fuck up and leave my door before I call the authorities on you." I threatened him right back.
He lifted one dark thick brow at me before his gaze flicked over my head to scan the room through the slit the open door had created. He looked back at me before taking a step back surprisingly.
"Unfortunately I don't have the free time to argue with yapping dogs" Nothing about his voice sounded like playful banter. That fucker meant every word of it.
"Neither do I" I spat. With that, I slammed the door close in his face, making sure to lock it too. I tried to ignore the festering annoyance boiling deep in me as I tucked myself in bed and begun reading my novel. Soon enough I was already falling. Falling deep into Lucius' grasp.