The next day, I woke up with Chloe staring at me with boundless curiosity in her eyes. I instantly knew what was in the store for me when I saw it. Massaging my temples to placate the headache that I was feeling every day since the last week, I forced a smile on my lips and asked her,
"Morning Chloe, what's the matter?"
She came closer to my face as if to not miss any of my reactions, and asked, "Um, sis, what's in the Crimson Lake?"
To be reminded of your darkest nightmare as soon as you wake up by someone you love is not a pleasant feeling at all, definitely. Chloe's words instantly gave me a traumatic flashback of the memory I was desperately trying to suppress.
At the same time, I felt a morbid urge to laugh at my own condition. The situation was just too… hilarious.
Looking at my face turning ashen upon hearing those words, Chloe tilted her little head forward with concern. It might have reminded her of something as she instantly gave me a small bow and apologized while fiddling with her skirt,
"Um...sorry, Mumma told me to not ask you about that too but, but...erm."
"I don't mind Chloe, it's just remembering that just makes me feel a little sick. I'll tell you everything later, ok?" I tried my best to play the role of a responsible sister and put up a courageous front, even as I was still shuddering inside.
It was enough to placate her though, as she waved her fist, widened her eyes, and asked, "Promise?"
"Promise!" I firmly nodded my head and caught her fist. It was a little ritual the two of us made in our free time to establish our vows.
After that, she left the room when I asked her to get me some water as I covered my head with the blanket for another few minutes of quietude.
Since I had already decided not to cry and lock myself all day in the guest room, my schedule was empty. I thought of going to Rowan's room to get a book to read after drinking water and convincing Chloe that I would play with her later.
As I had expected, he was sitting by his window and reading a thick book. I tapped on his door this time making him aware of my presence. Jerking his head, he stood up upon seeing me. He looked as if he wanted to say something but couldn't.
I smiled upon seeing that and casually walked towards the corner of his room, where piles of books were spread around randomly. He liked to keep his books like that, instead of keeping a shelf like normal people.
I tried not to disturb any of the piles because he probably had an arrangement there, and picked up a book titled, "Phenomenology of spells", and another one titled "Mein Werewolf Princess".
The first book, because I wanted to keep my mind diverted and it was known to be very hard to understand the book, and the second… because I was just curious why my brother had that.
He kept looking at me as I rummaged through his pile. When I was about to leave the room, I heard his expensive words as he stutteringly asked, "A-Are y-you alright now, T-Tiff?"
To understand my shock, one must know that this was the first time in my life that I was hearing something from him first. He was forcing himself to speak and his sincere expression as he forced himself to look into my eyes when he said that was enough to warm my heart again.
I remembered his pondering figure from last night and couldn't resist walking up to him to give him a gentle hug. His body was stiff and cold, yet I knew the warmth of his heart was unimaginable to me.
Without embarrassing him any further, I muttered, 'yes', before leaving him dumbfounded in the room.
Remembering all the warm and selfless gestures of my family that I had been repeatedly witnessing since the day before, a fear that I would lose them one day just like I suddenly lost Sister Hin suddenly paralyzed me. Perhaps, I just hadn't been in the right state of mind since that time.
Internally, I swore an oath to never let any harm come to my family, even if I had to become a monster for that.
It also reminded me that if I were just strong enough to throw those abominations away, or punch their disgusting faces when they tried to harm Sister Hin, nothing wrong would've happened at all.
The misfortune might have many causes for it and many factors that might have helped us avoid it, but the crippling fear that had seeped into my bones back then was a result of my weakness.