"Tell you what, Seraph, this one time, I met a girl and she had these enormous scars all over her arms and legs. I couldn't help noticing her, of course. When she told me she did it herself, I couldn't help it. I killed her then and there", he chuckled to himself, "I didn't want to do it, of course. Something just came over me. It wasn't that she told me she did it herself. It was how she said it. She was smiling."
"I'm sure she wasn't smiling because she was happy", I answered, with a solemn look on my face.
"I'm sure of that too. I was sure of it back then too. That's probably why I killed her. But do you know how many people I've saved?"
He looked at my face. I stayed silent.
"I've saved more people than I've killed. I've been counting since the beginning. I know, for sure, that my atonement is over. At least, it ought to be. But does it look like I'm still repenting?", he asked, smiling vaguely, knowing my answer.
"You do."
"That's because I am. No matter how many I save...the atonement...it never ends", blood trailed down his mouth.
I stood still, with my arm piercing through his chest.
"But it's all the same, no matter what. One person is no different than the entire world. Those who want to destroy the world, do it for one person. Those who save it, do it for one person. And that person is the only significance in the entire world. I didn't save that person. So no matter how many more I save, it's all the same", he was looking down, his strength waning.
He looked paler than ever. And there was a pool of blood at his feet. His grip on my arm loosened and his arms fell by his side.
"If you always knew that, Chopper-san", I bore a completely blank face, "then why have you been saving people and putting your life on the line?"
"All for the sake of...one..."
"No, you were following orders. From Lady. Not because she's that significant person, no. You're right. Your significant one is already gone. You didn't save that person. And that's why you've been pinning your hope on Lady. She's a guiding light that, you were sure, could pull you out of your regret. You thought she could save you. But she couldn't save herself if she wanted to. That's the reality, Chopper-san. And I know it all thanks to you. But it's about time you stopped deceiving yourself."
There was no point in me telling him to do that. With our current predicament, I had already murdered him.
"But I found the answer. Unlike all of you, my significant person is Lady. If there's someone that can save her, that's me. I'm going to keep the promise I made to her. Even if the answer is something like this", I said boldly, knowing that he had no strength left to reply.
I pulled my arm out with a jerk and he fell to the ground. His eyes moved to the sky. I'm sure he couldn't see anymore. It wasn't a wonderful evening. There was no wind, no birds chirping. It was hot. I found it suffocating.
***********************
"Oiiii, Chopper!", Lady hovered over his head.
He was trying to get some sleep but it didn't seem possible anymore.
"Could you stop with that stupid name, hag?", he sat up.
"Let's get moving, already. We're almost there! At your pace, by the time we get there, they'd be having their third one", Lady poked his head.
"No one's in a hurry. And I'd like to take my time. Didn't you say we were on vacation?"
"Eh? Did I say that? This is a mission, idiot Chopper", she fixed her heavy fur coat and got ready to move.
"God! Aren't you retired?", Chopper sighed, getting up and picking the luggage.
"Who says?"
She started off, leaving him to carry everything. He knew she wouldn't help out even if he asked her. He just watched her stroll off and sighed. In the end, he had no choice but to follow her.
They'd been on the journey for two days now. They'd always been traveling. But this time, they weren't going someplace because some troubled soul called or because lives were in danger. Chopper didn't see why they had to exert so much for a vacation.
"Well, when I think about it, I've never met either of them", Lady said as she led the way.
"I'm sure they wouldn't kill you for tagging along with me. Of course, if you feel even a bit of courtesy, don't go."
"I'll go."
"Then, don't think about stupid things."
"Say, Chopper-"
"Stop it, Lady", he interrupted her.
"Why?! It's such a good name!", Lady insisted.
"For the millionth time, it isn't. It makes me sound like a farming equipment."
Lady laughed.
"Or a serial killer."
"Well, I'm neither", he was annoyed.
"You could pass for both just fine."
"Shut up, Lady", Chopper hastened his pace.
Lady laughed again and ran up to join him.
They were going to a far away corner of Mercae. Chopper hadn't liked the idea of going to the countryside alone. He could ask Lady to part for a week but he had a feeling, she'd be up to no good if he let her wander around unattended.
"So what's this place called?"
"Avalon", Chopper answered.
"Funny name."
"It's not."
The morning they reached Avalon was quite a lovely one. Spring was in full bloom and the morning was such a bright one, it was almost blinding. As expected of a peaceful countryside, it was a beautiful land.
"This is such a typical countryside, Chopper", Lady said, as they walked towards the town.
"What the hell is a typical countryside, Lady?"
"It's all green mounds, and trees and flowers and a nice weather. And farms and animals and all that."
"That's because it's out here in the sticks. No one gives a crap about your military and government and all that."
"Heh...why are you making me sound so evil?", Lady muttered.
"Because you are."
Before they knew it, they had reached their destination.
They didn't know which house it was but they didn't have to look. They'd climbed up a small hill when Chopper noticed a lane of houses. One of them stood out especially. But that's not what caught his eye. It was the woman that was tending to the garden.
She looked exceedingly lovely. Her striking red hair flowed with the light wind and her face was brighter than ever. She was wearing a flowing white dress. It was such a perfect picture that it looked almost unreal.
She put the watering can down and stood straight looking at the flowers, caressing her overgrown stomach, a little smile played on her face. Chopper kept staring for a bit before she noticed him.
Her face lit up. She turned to the house and called someone. Then she looked back at Chopper and waved, beaming. Another figure emerged from the house and joined her.
A young man with long white hair, tied up in a pony tail at his back. He'd come out to receive Chopper too.
"Eh? Aren't they waving at us?", Lady, who'd been taking the scenery in, asked after a while.
Chopper didn't avert his eyes from the two figures. He started towards them and Lady followed.
"Jack!", as they got closer, the two came out of the garden to meet them.
Chopper was lost for words.
"Careful, now", the white haired man reached out to grab the woman.
"I am careful, enough", she broke free.
The young man smiled and went up to Chopper.
"Long time", he smiled and extended his hand.
Lady silently watched the exchange. But when Chopper blankly stared at the man's face without saying a word, Lady kicked his shin. He was brought back to the now.
"Ah...long time, indeed. How's life, Wolfe?", Chopper asked, still a bit rattled.
Wolfe chuckled.
"What's it look like, idiot?", Wolfe assumed a casual tone.
Chopper smiled, effortlessly.
"Jack", the young woman peeped from behind Wolfe, "You haven't changed at all!"
"I told you, he'd be the same", Wolfe answered instead, "Anyways Corsen, could you stop jumping around? You're gonna be tired stiff again."
"Oh come on!", Corsen whined, "You aren't gonna say anything, Jack?"
"Eh?", Lady had never seen Chopper so lost before.
"Well...", he began, "Congratulations to you two. I'm...happy to see you."
"See, what'd I tell ya?", Wolfe smiled, looking at Corsen.
Corsen sighed, "He said you wouldn't know how to be happy. You really haven't changed at all, Jack."
And truthfully, Chopper felt like there was no greater warmth that he'd ever known before seeing the faces of his two friends and the life they had.
"Ah, you look f-", Lady tried to say something, staring at Corsen's stomach, but Chopper didn't let her finish her sentence.
He knocked her in the head and sent her crashing into the ground.
"This little woman is a friend. She won't take up much space as you can see. It's fine if she stays with me, isn't it?", Chopper asked.
Corsen giggled.
"Why not? She seems like a character", Wolfe answered, looking at her crashed figure that was limp for a while.
"Her name's Lady. You can call her whatever you want. Better yet, never call her", Chopper said.
The hosts chuckled.
"Oi! I'm not dead, you know! What the hell'd you do that for, Chopper?!"
Chopper grabbed her by the collar and pulled her out of the ground, loading her on his back while she struggled to break free.
The two were led inside. It was a festive day for the small household. Chopper hadn't seen them for seven years. But soon, it was no different than what it used to be.
"I know! We'll name him Jack!", Corsen proposed as the lot settled down for breakfast.
Wolfe laughed, "Fine by me."
"Please don't name your kid after me", Chopper said in a low voice.
"Well, you wouldn't drop by so soon, I bet. We'll have to tell the kid who his uncle is and all", Corsen had already decided.
"I'll come by when he's seven."
"You better keep that promise, Jack", Wolfe downed a piece of bread.
"Hey Corsen, how much do you we-", before Lady could finish her sentence, Chopper had sent her flying into the wall.
After breakfast, the group went out to see the town. Lady seemed to be enjoying herself and Chopper thought he could let her dawdle as long as she didn't do anything too stupid. He had a lot to catch up with Wolfe and Corsen.
When the day came to a close, Chopper found himself sitting on a hill, looking at the small but beautiful town that lay before him.
And he was smiling to himself. He noticed Corsen and Wolfe in the distance. They were talking about something and laughing. He thought what a wonderful world it was.
"Oi", Lady suddenly appeared beside him.
He hadn't noticed her at all.
"What're you doing out here?", she asked, sitting beside him.
"We'll leave tomorrow", he said, smiling.
"Huh? So soon? It's so nice out here, though", she complained.
"Just your typical countryside", he repeated her words.
"Didn't they invite you for a month? You could stay a week at least!", she insisted.
"So you did read their letter", he glared at her, "We'll leave tomorrow. It's fine. He'll understand."
Lady looked in the distance. Wolfe and Corsen were sitting in their garden. Wolfe was feeding her apples. He seemed to be terrible at it. It wasn't hard to see how much they were in love. It was almost childish. It made Chopper and Lady laugh.
"Man, they've got a good life here, huh?"
Chopper watched silently, vaguely smiling.
"It's much too good."
"Eh?", Lady looked back at him.
Her eyes opened wide, seeing his face. He was smiling. And there was a trail of tears on his face.
"It's so good that it doesn't even feel real...this world, Lady."
She stared at him, blankly.
"The world is perfect", Chopper said, "It's just...perfect."
***************************
I stood besides Chopper's body. It had gone cold. But I could smell the rain in the air. Now I knew why it was such a humid evening. I thought that the rain would do a good job of washing the blood off of him so I needn't stay. I had places to be and things to do. And rain was just the thing I needed right now.
Chopper's eyes were half open. And I could see that though no light existed in those grey eyes of his, they weren't completely empty either. It was my parting gift to him.
He looked like he was having a nice dream.