Shit! Thoughts were running through my head still continuously. I threw my leather bound book in a drawer and huff out still distressed for some reason. As I walk down the stairs my heart beat is rapid and so sneaking into a stash of sake Cordelia thought she hid from me methodically pouring a shot.
"Why are you drinking so early in the day and how did you get that you technically can't drink and you know I hate the music you play when drunk sometimes," damn she's quick my thinking was slightly slowed more than usual.
"My bad I told you wasn't feeling well....you got back here fast," I stated not looking at the clock.
"Not fast hun we just got out a few minutes early and the last class was outside. Now tell me what's on your mind you kinda look exhausted."
I smile bitterly, "nothing just a crazy woman yelled at me about being a toy...I don't even know her or why it even fucking bothered me."
"What a bitch! Are you sure you don't know her though seems like she said that not at random she even knew your name," her left eyebrow raised with slight curiosity.
"I dunno she was talking with my teacher once and I saw them kiss but that doesn't have anything to do with me," swear I saw her eyes darken for a moment.
"Where is the nail polish," she asked me looking down on at my fingers.
Already knowing I open the drawer next to me in the kitchen where I stored random items since we moved in. Handing it to her she started painting my nails and I relaxed abit.
"When this drys do you want to go into the studio to paint and draw it'll be fine. Let your worries to drift away."
Agreeing with a nod when we went up to the room inbetween ours about five minutes later. She was right painting did relax me abit. Well until I saw what I painted when it was finished. She even gasped and hurriedly put it away from me as I clenched my jaw. It was a very nice painting sensual and full of woe of who I decided to just call Mr. Kurosawa in my mind. No shirt under a dim moonlight with disdain in his eyes that still tried to capture you in.
"You sure you're good bruh...I mean you know what we are going out tonight to get your mind at rest and from that strange ass teacher of yours," my eyes widen and suddenly realized she has only been cussing since we met him.
"Okay..."
All I say is that and then remember its a school night. Well whatever, we eat and chat a bit and let her know what kind of actual history I had with the guy. When I finished saying he kinda just disappeared one day without telling me she got so mad and told me we were going to pregame. It was just eight when we arrived at Club Med deciding to go to the dancefloor first we giggle and feel a little at ease the club was definitely our vibe. Everyone in lace, leather, and chains the music playing was my favorite by Diary of Dreams.
As the song says, "she knows the warmth she feels is not for long" I smirk inwardly thinking this part was about me and when it ended I told her I was going to get a drink at the bar. She and I looked slightly alike and so I used her ID and ordered myself vodka to calm relax myself even more. She was dancing with a guy who she apparently knew judging by how close they were. The song that started playing sounded familiar, when someone asks me to dance. Nothing to loose.
"Okay," I smile a genuinely friendly smile yet to my knowledge not to friendly as he takes me to the dancefloor.
Flame hair, kinda cute this was my thought as we started dancing in an at first reserved way then he got closer to me just inches away. He grind his body a bit too close for my comfort while asking my name and I just give him my first name not thinking I'd see him again. His name was Brandon apparently and he's studying law. We danced abit more when I felt someones eyes on my body. I thought it was very conservative what I had on until our eyes met. Tonight he wore a crimson red blazer it matches the tips of my hair that Cordelia dyed for me last night before bed. I excuse myself seeing a stern unreadable look on his face and walk towards my teacher.
"Why are you here its a school night," he asked his voice rough in my ear.
"Haven't been here long and I'm leaving by ten, its only nine...." Why was I answering him he's not my daddy! I pout right away looking for my bestie in the crowd.
His low chuckle sent a sensation down my spine, "She's sitting at the bar with a fellow." His response to my unasked question.
"No one asked you," I'm not continuing to converse with him. "Also get your woman in check."
That's all I say and he sighed confusion in his face for a moment then I hear that fucking voice.
"Honey what are you doing..." A smile on her face as she looked at me but the smile didn't reach her eyes.
"Oh aren't you his student shouldn't you be home at this time of night," fake concern in her voice.
Scoffing on the inside as she wrapped her arm around his torso my reply came out quick, "I'm here with a friend to relax I didn't expect to see my teacher and his..."
"Wife," she had a triumphant look on her face as I stilled myself.
"Yes wife," making sure my voice didn't crack. "Anyways sorry to disturb you," I walk away but inside I felt empty and worthless for some reason.
What's up with that and why did that prick kiss me if he has a wife? I sigh and head to the bar where my best babe was waiting for me her companion left a few seconds before I reach. Suddenly Bondage by Ghost Machine plays and my heart trembled as I tell her its time to go. She looked at me and told me she was gonna bring fresh meat with her. Eyes wide and slack jawed I go out to catch a cab back.
Waiting til my cab got there I took out my al capone cigars and light one up not caring a bit about my surroundings. Laughing is heard from behind me I don't care about it. That and what that man does is none of my concern telling myself this eased my mind for a moment. As a red cab came I was putting out my cigar on the ground my black and red spiked heels stomping it out.
"Smoking is bad for you," hearing that rough hoarse voice made me tremble inside and I got a bit heated.
"I am not your concern sir go to your wife," saying this made me feel so irritated so frustrated as I entered the cab my black leather skirt shifted up a bit going by unnoticed by myself.
His eyes were looking my thighs as he spoke, "true I am married and you shouldn't be my concern BUT you are my student."
He said his words then closed the door to the cab slowly his eyes staring deeply at me as his final words somewhat shook me. "You look delicious, don't dress like this again while going out."
WHAT THE FUCK! Slamming the door to the apartment I rush to my room. The man was married and making me frustrated with myself and him. My chest beat rapidly as I tried to calm down. Suddenly my sanity crashed and I still heard those parting words in my ear. As I went to release the pent up stress and the forbidden desire I had furiously during my excursion his wife's voice pierced my impure thoughts "just a toy....just a toy." I stopped my movements and burst into a set of unbecoming tears. She's right but even if she is I should still be able to have my get over this. I stopped my sobbing right on time to hear the door downstairs open and my bestie/roommate giggling.
I sigh inside "won't let this break me down, measly things life feelings will not break me down," I tell myself.
I decided to sleep it off and just take all my tests early so I wouldn't deal with the awkward feelings inside. Plus if I do that I can always help out my company when needed and do random check-ups. Hearing the moaning and groaning coming two doors down my jealously rises from unfulfilled desire I try to drift to sleep by playing my music loud enough to drown the sounds out.
"At least she's having fun," the thought entered my head and then again I hear Mr Kurosawa my soon to be ex teacher popped into my head. "You look delicious," suddenly that bitches again but molding with his "Toy", "You look delicious". Shit what's going on with me all of a sudden. I begin to let myself give a pleasurable sensation, for this wouldn't happen again trying to say to myself giving in to my desire to get his kiss again. I thought about that while the voices merged inside especially his as I then finally relax upon my bed. Eyelids heavy thinking, " you almost broke down good job staying at least afloat." Then for the first time since the move my dream had been peaceful....