Beep. Beep.
Slam.
I don't miss that sound one bit, ugh
Second day back at school, this new year feels even more empty than before. Well, gotta get prepped like I did yesterday, and every other day to-. Wait, was there, something wrong? Oh god I hate this feeling. this feeling of discontent like something is wrong, something is off but you cant bring yourself to immediately remember it. usually, I just try to let my mind forget it by thinking about other stuff, so ill do that I- oh yeah. Fuck that. I was overthinking, like I told myself a million times last night. You ever just wake up and realise how much of an idiot you were being? God... I'm heading to school. As I finish up preparing my handbag, I head downstairs, quickly slip my shoes on and headed to the door
Marie - "Bye mom, bye dad"
Dad - "Bye hone-"
"Oh, she left quickly"
"... is she okay?"
Sometimes on my way to school, I wonder where all these cars crossing me on the street are going. Are they visiting someone? Are they going to a job they hate? or love? Is it the same for them every single morning of their lives? Surely you'd hope for some change in that situation, but people just go on with their lives like they cant do anything about it. As I walk into school, the student council try to sell me on their newspaper, which they do an awful lot for what is in the end still a free service, which is also annoying as usual, so I decline and head to my class. Lily is here again, obviously, which makes this a little better I guess.
Lily - "Hey Marie-Hey Marie!! We have a supply today look look!!"
Marie - "Oh neat, less work today, probably"
Lily - "I know right its been aaages since we had a supply, pft"
I see a pleased expression on Lily's face, in contrast to how she looked when I first entered the room. I'm glad she's looking brighter now, it helps me feel relived knowing my friends are feeling okay, if they're not worrying then surely I have nothing to worry about right? Our supply teacher really does not look like he gives a single shit, and is further proving that by putting a movie on for us. I cant really complain though, so whatever. I'm not really into the whole action movie stuff though, its quite overdone, so I put my head down for the time being. When I have nothing on my mind, is when I actually find myself being quite happy. I don't need to waste my mental power worrying or focusing on other things, I can finally just take a little break.
Lily - "Hey-hey Marieee"
Oh well, it was nice while it lasted
Lily - "You know, sometimes I feel, bad, for the bad guy, Y'know like, besides all the killing and stuff, are their morals really that bad? Why are people like this considered bad?"
Lily - "I guess you're not really watching the movie anyways though, heh"
Marie - "H-huh uhh, I don't know, from what I know about this series, she seems like a pretty terrible person, so I don't really understand where you're coming from but I guess a lot of things are open for interprita-"
Classmate - "I totally agree with you lily for real!"
She's gone to talk to someone else now, eh whatever. I put my head back down and chill for the rest of the lesson. I think I'm in a slightly better mood now since this morning, which I'm grateful for. I really don't like that feeling
After about half an hour, I hear the bell ring for our next period, so I get up and leave, but to go to my locker to get my blazer back. Its kind of cold, and I never usually wear it which is why its stuck in there all the time but, its winter, I mean, autumn now I guess. Man these lockers are way too tiny, I don't know how anybody uses them, or if they even do in the first pla-
??? - "H-Hey Marie..."
(I recognise this kid from somewhere)
(Oh, he was the one staring yesterday)
He frantically walks away before I have anything to say. Whatever
I grab and put on my blazer, and head to class. As I'm walking, I I find something stuffed in one of the inner, I mean outer pockets. (God, what is with my head today.) Its an old drawing of me and Lily, from my first year here, kind of crudely drawn like a little kid has done it. I like it though, It reminds me of when I used to feel a little more happy in life. Maybe ill show her this. I soon arrive at my next class, same seating plan but different classroom, as per most my lessons, which means I still get to sit next to Lily but, I'm not sure if ill talk too much also as per usual.
Literature isn't one of my liked lessons to be honest, despite me reading a lot of books in my spare time. I just find what school covers to be old bullshit nobody really cares about.
Teacher - "Alright, today we'll be talking about the themes of love represented here, there is a lot to cover this lesson so, I do apologise if I ramble on a bit"
(Why does she need to apologise, its just her job)
(Nah, I guess I understand it, at least she knows how dull it is for us
...
See, this is just so obvious anyways why the fuck are we even covering this, this is literally a romance anyways?! The class seem to be eating it up though, I guess ill just listen along for the time being. As boring as this is, I feel like this should remind me of something, but, I cant conjure anything. Ugh, whatever, here I go wasting my energy on useless thoughts again, I sound like a corny main character in some nerds fucking Wattpad love story, Not too different from what we're studying, actually. Like this is supposed to remind me of anything important anyways. Yeah that sounds cliché again.
The lesson goes by fairly quickly, for such a boring subject. Thankfully, its our break now. Maybe ill show Lily this picture. Probably the only thing that's made me feel good today, so it feels special to me now. I see her waiting outside the class.
Marie - "Hey lily, thanks for waiting for me."
Lily - "Anything for my best friend!!"
(Best friend?)
Lily - "Can we head to the the toilet quickly though?"
Marie - "Yeah, sure"
Lily walks ahead at a very fast walking pace, one I cant really keep up with, but I cant really be bothered to catch up, Ill just let her walk ahead. Why do- why do things feel so unusual or- off yet again. I've never had this feeling before. I don't like it. I don't really feel like im mysel-. I find myself brushing past the staring kid. The fucking staring kid, what is it with him lately.
??? - "Oh uh- H-Hey Mari- Wait, c-can I talk to you for a second!"
Marie - "How do you know my name."
(A good 3 seconds pause while we continue walking in the same direction)
??? - "Heh- my names, T-Tyler Iknowyoudontreallyknowmebut, maybe I c-could get your n-number? You seem so pretty and sweet i ju-"
Marie - "I don't like boys"
(My head fills with confusion. What kind of fucking boy hits on a girl like this? He doesn't even know who I am, who does he think he is? What a fucking creep. Why do I keep unexpectedly encountering him? It feels like this was completely planned and setup or something, i-is Lily part of this? Am I really in some nerds Wattpad love story? Because the way this keeps happening to me feels so.
Cliché.
...)
Tyler - "M-m-maybe you could make an e-exception for m-me?"
Marie "N-no"
(I feel my hand form into a fist within my pocket)
Tyler - "But I just, I k-know its weird, but it feels like, f-fate"
Tyler - "Surely, surely you feel it too?
(I do.)
(I don't like this fate, though)
I feel my arm sharply raise out of my pocket, as if it had a mind of its own, and, while unable to handle my pure anxiety and confusion within this moment, and with a strong feeling of apprehension, strike my fist into his right cheek, slamming him against the wall of the hallway with an audible slam. I then turn around to see Lily had returned back to me, with a face of shock and repulsion. W-was this too rash of me? H-How do I explain this to her, why did I feel the need to punch him?? W-Why was he talking about fate? Why did he know the exact word to bring me to that state of pure u-unease?