​A person closers to you always suffer in secrets

Hmmmmh,what's life?That's the question Dishyanah ask herself while she was busy listening to music so he decided to go back on her childhood story and so she decided to write it.

Chapter one

Baby

Dishyanah grow up in her mother lap while she was a baby girl and after 9 to 10 month's his father took her away and gave Dishyanah away to her sister (who is Dishyanah's auntie)his father give Dishyanah away to her sister so that she can become Dishyanah's guardian who will take and look after her.His father left her there all alone and went away from her.His father left Dishyanah in the hand of her auntie (care taker) in the village and He went to a far town where the desert meet the ocean to settle there and her mother went to the city.

Yoh by that time Dishyanah was very young she doesn't even know how to walk all talk and she cannot even stand on her own.

At that time Dishyanah was having 3 siblings (a big sister and 2 big brother)by that time.Crying all day like a baby goat that is left by the mother.

Chapter 2

Walking

Dishyanah turn 3 years and she can now walk and her own and she can even talk.Now she can even remember the time she use to cry wanting to go back on her parent's until she get tired of crying and loose all her hope that she will never go back to her parents even though they where alive.And she know that she will never experience the life of toddlers in her parents divine care and love.

That's was the other side of Dishyanah she experience while she was a Baby.

Chapter 3

Accept everything and move on

As Dishyanah was able to walk she did ask herself what was the purpose?to stick on with his ruination life when was a baby so she encourages herself to move on and accept the present life in his auntie family life styles and accept her auntie daughter who is Dishyanah name sake auntie.Even though Dishyanah name sake auntie was very tough on her and she use to beat Dishyanah up most of the days.

Chapter 4

Soccer

Dishyanah accept everything in his auntie family life styles.Dishyanah oneday wanted to play soccer with the boy's who was her age,but she was forbidden not to play soccer with the boy's.Dishyanah did not listened to her auntie so she went and play soccer with the boys at the socer field.So Dishyanah did not listened to her auntie name sake so she went and play soccer even though she was forbidden she went ahead and play soccer with the boy's.

Dishyanah auntie seeing that, that Dishyanah did not listened to her she order Dishyanah cousin Hendy to bring Dishyanah to her to her.Dishyanah seeing Hendy coming toward her she realize that she is in big trouble for playing soccer so Dishyanah run away but she was not that faster than her cousin so she caught her and take her to her auntie name sake.

Hendy cousin Dishyanah her to her auntie name sake.Her auntie beat Dishyanah up black and blue for playing soccer.*Dishyanah*cry and cry out loud hoping that one will come to her rescue even her care taker but no one has come so she cry out loud Mother mother!!!!!!!!!Father father!!!!!!!!!why I have so much hardshipin my life i know that i am still young but my heart can feel all the pain that my heart is experiencing.

Ahhhhxxxxxxxx why why why whyyyy whyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????

Dishyanah was so frustrated that not even her father sister's (auntie) who was given permission to bring up Dishyanah did not come to her rescue,that made Dishyanah very mad!mad!mad!mad!!!!!!so she went inside the room and took all her clothes and also take all the clothes that her name sake auntie give Dishyanah.She start tearing all her clothes and give the clothes that her name sake auntie give her.She did say take back your clothes that you gave me i don't need them anymore.Dishyanah throw the clothes on her auntie face and say you are very bad i don't need them anymore.

Dishyanah throw the clothes on her auntie face and went away from her and she went outside to sleep at the corner of the room even though it was sunny and cold Dishyanah bear the breeze of cold weather and the sunny, Dishyanah only went back inside during night time so that she can go and take a nap. The next day Dishyanah was going to bath she hurt her ankle on the wires and she was felling the pain even though she was not showing not.Dishyanah did not tell anyone as she know that nobody cares so she keep her pain to herself.

The next day when come Dishyanah pain extend to the level where Dishyanah was unable to walk but only stay in bed.After Dishyanah and Dishyanah name sake auntie realise that Dishyanah all day she was in bed they went to check up on her and they realize that she was having a higher fever.They did not say anything they just went away and later they tell Dishyanah to continue sleeping as she will recover on her own.Days are going until Dishyanah recoveron her own.

Chapter 5

Years are going

Dishyanah is now 5 years old but still have no sign of her mother all even his father.Dishyanah sometimes think that maybe his parents has forgotten about her.Not even talk with his siblings in the phone ..Staying away from his siblings and parents Dishyanah receive news that his mother gave birth to her 3rd daughter named Forjunior (Sofia)and fourth son who was named Mexier,to Dishyanah surprised she was shocked again that his father also have a daughter named Ndeishyie.

When she hear that her parents are no more girlfriend and boyfriend couple as they are separated. (Dishyanah says in her mind that even though i am still young my heart will endure everything what's comes in her way she will accept it as it part of her destiny).Dishyanah when heard all that she say that she is happy that that his siblings are having better life with their parents while she is considered to be out of their family and she is far from them.

Even though Dishyanah parents gots separated, some of her siblings they where staying with their mother and some with their father except Dishyanah

Chapter 6

Looking after the animals

As now Dishyanah turn 5years old she start looking after the animals cattles,donkeys and cow's. DISHYANAH always go to look after the animals in the farm fence.The animals where many but still Dishyanah was asked to go and look after the animals

Dishyanah start looking after the animals until one day she meet girls ofher age coming back from school she went to them and talk with them.Everyday Dishyanah go and look after the animals and talk with girls until they become best friend and always play together and listen to the story of her friends how fun it's school.

Dishyanah went to look after the animals but she lost all the animals when she went home her auntie daughter Mrjm beat Dishyanah and the husband of Dishyanah auntie care taker said Dishyanah will not sleep in the house all eat any food without finding the animals.Dishyanah went into the dark to look for the lost animals and come back when it was getting darker when she come home she was asked to go and sleep without eating.Dishyanah went to sleep so that she can wake up the next day to go and continue with her searching.As God love everyone Dishyanah find the lost animals.

Days continue

One day while Dishyanah she was busy looking after the animals they pass through the fence and went into the neighbour farm field but unfortunately Dishyanah was not aware of it.After she noticed that some animals are in the neighbor field she run fast as much she can run but unfortunately she step her feet on the sharp thorn.Dishyanah feet where cover in blood as blood where running like water.

Dishyanah pull herself together and remove the sharp thorn in her feet and put her pain aside and start running to go and chase the animals out of his neighbour field because Dishyanah know that if the owner of the farm see the animals in their field she will be beaten.So Dishyanah run limping.When then the sunset Dishyanah put all the animals together and put them in their kraals she went home to go and get water from the stream.

Chapter 7

Ideas of going to school

Days are going until Dishyanah stop limping on her own with any medical attention and one day when coming back from looking after the animals she went back home and went to tell herauntie and her name sake auntie that she also want to go to school like the other girls in her village.Dishyanah name sake auntie and her care taker said you aren't ready for school so you gonna wait.Dishyanah went.

The next day was Sunday and and Dishyanah cousin was going to church so she was so happy thinking that she will go to church with them (cousin ) to Dishyanah surprised she was told that she won't go to church with them.She was so hurt and she cry out loud screaming like nobody's business like she has no desire to live again.Dishyanah cousin and her friends went to church while Dishyanah stay back.

(Even though Dishyanah was very young she ask herself why life was so cruel with her.She said she was supposed confess to her auntie care taker that she is not well and that the reason for her heart to be broken into millions pieces of pain Time does not wait for anyone Dishyanah and time was the guide to everything in Dishyanah life and that means time was also the guide to her ruination life.

Ahhhhhhh Dishyanah feel like DYING...

Chapter 7

School start

Time does not wait for anyone Dishyanah turn six (6) in September so that means is time Dishyanah for Dishyanah to start her lower primary school enducation in the village.Dishyanah start lower primary school and she wake up every morning at 6 o'clock so that she can go to school.Dishyanah was very happy that now she will get a chance to be with her friends. School was very fun at first for Dishyanah and she even become friend with a village vendor that sell popcorn,sweets and glucose the vendor always gives Dishyanah popcorn for free when going back home after school.

On a later stage Dishyanah got tired as she start hating school as if she a stay few minutes late back home from school she will be punished by her auntie as they said she should always come home fast so that she can go and look after the animals.That make Dishyanah to be restless at her young age as she don't get enough sleep, Dishyanah start hating school as she also never go with food at school or anything she only drink water when its break time.

Dishyanah also start to hate everything in her life that even made her one day to run away from school when it was break time.At home after school Dishyanah go to look after the animals and also have to do house chores while her cousin Hendy is just enjoying her life at home,even though they stay at the same house Dishyanah always have to go to the stream to go and get water.

Chapter 8

Stream pain

Life go on, ages continue to boost and Dishyanah continue to go to the stream everyday.Dishyanah made new friends at the the stream but their friendship did not last for so long As they where made to fight against each other by the big girls who come to the stream.Dishyanah always got beaten by them and they will laugh at her.Dishyanah come to the stream everyday and be beaten up.

Dishyanah one day told herself that she should become fearless face everything that come in her way and start facing all the girls and let the pain be the pain of another pain let me endure it (thats the words of Dishyanah in her mind)on that day Dishyanah become fearless and start beating all the girl's at the stream fighting them and make them to fear her when they see her. All the girls start to fear Dishyanah and Dishyanah was so so happy thinking that she will never face any problem at the stream.

Dishyanah happiness did not last for so long as one boy from their house named Joseph was told by one of Dishyanah auntie daughter Mrjm that he should always beat Dishyanah up if she ever trouble him.Joseph take advantage of it and start beating up Dishyanah even though she done nothing wrong with him.Dishyanah complain everything to the one who gave permission to Joseph but she said nothing,she just keep quite she did not take side with her.Dishyanah was so hurt and shocked that don't even if theyy don't care that she was in pain at least they where supposed to listen to her.

Dishyanah went away so that she can go and cry alone in her own company.

Chapter 9

Climbing trees

Dishyanah went into the bush and cry out loud until she let all the tears in her eyes out and she look for a tall tree so that she can climb and swing herself on a tall tree and later Dishyanah start playing fast touch on trees on her own and after she got tired she went back home.

At home she was asked to climb an Amarula tree so that she can catch the chicken for her name sake auntie that was on top of the tall tree.Dishyanah pretend that she doesn't know how to climb trees so that maybe her auntie will let her not climb the Amarula but the auntie say don't worry i will push you so that it will be easy for her to climb.The name sake auntie push Dishyanah and Dishyanah climb and chase the chicken away on purpose .Dishyanah was a girl who consider that pain should always followed by another pain.While Dishyanah was coming down from the top of an Amarula down she take a deep breath and make herself fall from the trees on purpose..

Chapter 10

Grade 3

Dishyanah was now in grade 3 and still finding hardship with school. Dishyanah was not that much smart but she always try her level best to excel in everything at school.One day when Dishyanah come back from school she found a new face in their house and it was a young boy named Tuhafenie,Tuhafenie was Dishyanah auntie care taker brother son and he have come to stay with them and began school with Dishyanah,Tuhafenie was going in grade 2

Tuhafenie was the Apple of Dishyanah auntie care taker and she always see Tuhafenie as a diamond in her hand that need to be handle with proper care.Dishyanah and Tuhafenie start goingto school together.Dishyanah do most of the work after school while Tuhafenie do nothing.Tuhafenie always go to school with money at school so that he can go and buy food at the Tuckshop while Dishyanah will go with nothing.

Chapter 11

Dishyanah and Tuhafenie fight

Dishyanah start complaining and hating Tuhafenie as Tuhafenie was a spoiled brat as he never do nothing.Dishyanah start beating up Tuhafenie when her name sake auntie and her care taker are out.Oneday while Dishyanah was busy pounding mahangu left alone with Tuhafenie,Dishyanah got angry and ask Tuhafenie why he is not coming to help her.So Dishyanah said today is a day am gonna teach you a lesson Dishyanah went to fight Tuhafenie and Dishyanah always know that if she begin fighting Tuhafenie she know that she will always win the fight.

So after that Dishyanah told Tuhafenie that if he dare try to report her she will again beat him. The next day come again and Tuhafenie's father come and give Dishyanah a pair of sandals and after his father went Tuhafenie start fighting Dishyanah so Dishyanah say are you fighting me because your father bought me a pair of sandals and wait and see what am gonna do.Dishyanah went in the house and brought the shoes and set them on fire.

Chapter 12

Grade 4 and 3

Dishyanah was now in grade 4 and Tuhafenie is in grade.SO one day Dishyanah,Tuhafenie,Hendy and Mrjm they where watching tv together in Dishyanah care taker auntie so Dishyanah fall asleep unnoticed.So when they see that Dishyanah fall asleep they all sneak out of the sitting room so that they can go and sleep in their rooms. DISHYANAH slept on a chair in coldness when Dishyanah wake up in the middle of the night because she can feel the cold she realize that she is all alone so she open the window and pass through the window as she was locked inside the sitting room so that she can go and sleep in the room.

So the next day was report day Tuhafenie went to school happy as he know he is the best in his school work he doesn't have trouble anlike Dishyanah as she always consider herself a failure. So they went to go and get their report and both where having good symbols and Hendy also as she always excels in everything.It was almost New year and Hendy was happy about it as she will be taken to a mall so Dishyanah made a mistake that day before new year which made Hendy to shout at Dishyanah and even Hendy chase Dishyanah out of her room. Dishyanah did not say anything she move out without saying anything and she went to sleep in an empty room that was not having a door so Dishyanah sleep in a room on the cold floor for that night.

When the sun rise next morning Dishyanah wake up early in the morning so that she can go and do house choirs while his house members are busy sleeping in the world of dreams becausesometimes Dishyanah auntie care taker husband always make sure that Dishyanah life is a living hell so she wake Dishyanah up early in the morning even if its raining and make Dishyanah remember her place in their family.When new come Dishyanah get her drunk as she thought that getting drunk is the way of forgetting pain.She got drunk and went to sleep in a scattered room.

Chapter 13

New year is over and getting along

When the new year was over Dishyanah and Tuhafenie where starting to get along with one another which made them angry.Days and month's are going now Dishyanah and Tuhafenie are the inseparable which made them angry and start to giveboth Dishyanah and Tuhafenie to work overtime as they no more see Tuhafenie as a diamond.

One day Dishyanah and Tuhafenie where given work to collect beans in the field as they where tired they start playing so after that Hendy saw them and she immediately run into the house to report them. When Dishyanah and Tuhafenie went home they where beaten as they where playing instead of collecting beans.

Revenge

When the two insepabble got beaten up they team up together to take revenge. So the take a needle and place it on a pillow so that Hendy will be hurt by the needle but unfortunately Dishyanah name sake auntie sees the needle and take it and for them they also regret their action.

So the next day the two teammate went to look after the animals especially goat's where running up and down so Dishyanah and Tuhafenie gor mad and went to cut wipe so that they can come and wipes all the goats on the kraals,when Dishyanah care taker heard about that when was night hour she ask the team mate if she should burn them,so she burn them make them fell the fire pain.

Chapter 14

Cutting her hair

Dishyanah when was in grade 4 she was told by her name sake auntie that she should unplait her hair Dishyanah unplait her hair.As Dishyanah unplait her hair her name sake auntie told Dishyanah that she will ask someone to come and do her hair.When Dishyanah figure out who the person will come to do her hair she run away as she know the person will inflict pain in her head so Dishyanah run awaybut she was told that she should come back all else she will be beaten up.Dishyanah say oky i will come back.

Then Dishyanah come back and do Dishyanah's hair.Dishyanah was in so much pain after the hair was completely done,so Dishyanah was unable to bear the pain so she went and take a scissor and cut her hair.Her name sake auntie when saw that she was angry and shout why she cut her hair if she is going to be her flowergirl in August.

Wedding session

Months are fast and it's was already August Dishyanah auntie name sake was getting married to her love of his life and Dishyanah was a flowergirl.People they celebrate and eat well.So after 6 long waiting year Dishyanah father come to the wedding to show peace and happiness of the wedding.Dishyanah was so happy that she will have time to spend with his father but to Dishyanah surprised his father was not even paying attention to Dishyanah,She notices that his father also only come to the wedding to show that he has attend the ceremony and After the wedding process completed Dishyanah father went back,Dishyanah auntie name sake also went to his in-law to start a new life. Even even though Dishyanah auntie name sake was cluer on Dishyanah and used to beat her up Dishyanah still wanted her auntie name sake not to go,but life has no turning back.

Again Dishyanah is left devastated after her auntie name sake left Dishyanah life start to become more toughest as her care taker husband start to make Dishyanah life a living hell

Dishyanah become everyday accused person of everything that will happen in the house.The husband of Dishyanah auntie always blame Dishyanah for everything.Even though Dishyanah was not the only kids in the house she was always the roots of everything. Until Dishyanah pain of suffering extend to the level where she has no desire to life again and that day she tried writings letters to her parents but she tears them in pieces so she go and climb a tree Dishyanah was trying to end her life But as God so loved the world Dishyanah come out of the door of committing suicide.

Day continue Dishyanah one day was asked by the care taker husband that she should leave their house but Dishyanah did not leave as she knows no where to go so she again try to end her life but was saved by God

Chapter 15

Dishyanah trouble continue

As Dishyanah and Tuhafenie become team mate Dishyanah always covered up for Tuhafenie bad doing and Dishyanah always be the one to receive punishment.So one day Dishyanah was accused of stealing credit and a mirror from her care taker husband,Dishyanah keep on telling him that she did not stole anything but he said before you where not in this house nothing used to get lost.So Dishyanah was very broken so she start talking back to him and shocked him with her talk ,Dishyanah told the man that if i ever die in this world never come to my funeral (burial) unless you should have a party's that am gone (that was the words of Dishyanah)Dishyanah was not able to take it anymore she went and take pills and 2 bottles of unknown medicine's and drink them,Dishyanah thought that she will never wake up again she will go into deep sleep but that did not happen.God save Dishyanah.

Chapter 16

Face and pain

The next week Dishyanah and Tuhafenie sleep in the house for a week only drinking water and eating small potion of food from other people's kids.Dishyanah Tuhafenie overcome everything and they defeat hunger .

When the care taker come back after a week with his son too

The next day was Sunday and Dishyanah was collecting fertilizer and she waa using a shovel.Dishyanah care taker son also want to use a shovel but Dishyanah said no to him the care taker son want to beat Dishyanah for refusing her.

Dishyaah run away but when the care taker son realize that Dishyanah is faster than him he took a stone and throw it to Dishyanah and it did hurt Dishyanah arm.So Dishyanah arm was hurting all day but pain disappear on it's own.But even though Dishyanah pain went the pain sometimes come back when Dishyanah try to lift something.Even though Dishyanah care taker heard about that she was just quite..Instead they where just laugh at her.

Chapter 17

Camping school

Years are going on Dishyanah was now 17years old and she is now a big girl.So she start to communicate with his father through the phone they got along with each other well but unfortunately Dishyanah was not destiny to talk to her mother as her mother got married to her new love of her life and she has settled down in his in-law with a young baby boy named Fillemn and her other Dishyanah siblings are with her.Years go on until oneday Dishyanah say she will travel to his father,the care taker told Dishyanah to go alone and told Dishyanah that his father must pay the bus money.Dishyanah told her care taker that it's fine she will go.Dishyanah arrived at his father place.Even though Dishyanah's father did not spend time with Dishyanah when growing up she was showing much love to her daughter and make Dishyanah special.

Cooking

Dishyanah start loving his father and start considering as his father his best friend and mother too and consider his father his world.While Dishyanah was happy with his father her big big sister and big brother that stay with her father come back from holiday from their mother.The siblings did not like Dishyanah at all they consider Dishyanah's as a nobody and they start hating Dishyanah as they think Dishyanah was getting all their attention.

While one day Dishyanah cook and put food for his father in his plate and take the food to him,her siblings go ahead and eat all the foods that Dishyanah prepared and did not left any for Dishyanah.Dishyanah said nothing

Time was going so days too Dishyanah told his father everything what has happened in her life and told him that she doesn't want to go back to her care taker as she is mean to her

Dishyanah father said he has no choice she have to go back.

Dishyanah went back to her care taker so that she can go and attend camping school.Dishyanah went to attend camping school in the village but she was not having a desire to be friend with anyone's until oneday Dishyanah become friend with her geography teacher who was like a mother to Dishyanah as she love Dishyanah unconditionally and always find way to make Dishyanah happy.

Chapter 18

Camping school is completed

Dishyanah completed camping school so she have to move on with her auntie daughter Mrjm and be separated from Tuhafenie.Mrjm move in with Dishyanah in his boyfriend house. Dishyanah life at Mrjm house was more worse than ever as all work fall on Dishyanah's shoulder and Dishyanah is being always being irresponsible because of Mrjm kids.At Mrjm house Dishyanah also become a care taker of Dishyanah kids at young age and start sleeping with Mrjm kids who where just 1 and month's baby while while Mrjm and his boyfriend go to chill out at night. AT Mrjm place Dishyanah was treated less from Mrjm kids so Dishyanah was always make and figure out something so that she can survive on her own.

Dishyanah one day she was accused of something by Mrjm husband so Dishyanah talk back to him and say why only blame me when your kids are the one in wrong.So from that day Dishyanah took a vow of silence and that day Dishyanah fell really ill during night time she was vomiting alot but no one was there for her so she deal with her pain alone.Dishyanah start having problem pain on her left upper abdomen so as Dishyanah know that no one is there for her she carry herself to the hospital and go into the ex-ray for body examine.

Chapter 19

Depression

Dishyanah start felling depressed start hating all close people as she say that all close people are the one to hurt you she also stop eating only eat less and she start to engage her self online and made some goods friend

One day while Dishyanah was online she chat with a lady named Kris who has a daughter named Chrisha they where Fillipian they where so nice to Dishyanah. They start chatting all day and video calling all day until Kris start calling Dishyanah as her daughter but Dishyanah did not like it as she say she doesn't know how to text in a form of mother and daughter love so she said no but unfortunately they become close together until Dishyanah start calling Kris as mother and Chrisha as sister and vise-versa Kris call Dishyanah daughter and Chrisha call Dishyanah as sister.Dishyanah always fell comfortable talking all her pain with Kris and a strong bond was created between them.

Until Kris introduce Dishyanah To Nour a young girl who is an Egyptian.Dishyanah also develop a strong bond with Nour and they also start calling each other sister.After that Dishyanah was shocked as she was abandoned again by Kris and her daughter.Dishyanah was in shocked is she was Depressed but she suffered inside she never told anyone.Even though Dishyanah was in depression shedidn't abandoned Nour the girl as she consider Nour her young sister and she believe that even though she is hurt inside atleast she can put a smile on her young sister Nour. Nour taught Dishyanah the love between a sister that was Dishyanah never believe in.Dishyanah suffered in a silent and she never told anyone not even Nour.And Dishyanah start to hate everything and she start to dream and want to become rich so that she can travel and become rich and richer and dream of being alone in a loss world.Everything continue Dishyanah was hurt again continue with chatting online with stranger until one day in March 2019 she start chatting with a stranger (boy)online he was a Pakistani they become friend until they end up dating with each other,they start dating online since 2019 and they are still together.They are in a long distance relationship and no ones knows about it as Dishyanah never told anyone.Dishyanah went to go and visit his father. She is living new life with his father and she never went back to Mrjm house as Mrjm doesn't need Dishyanah anymore in her life and they dont talk anymore.Dishyanah live at hisfather place even though was not that much happy as her blood siblings don't like her

The END!!!!!!

Dishyanah main aim in life is to get a job so that i can pay for my school fees.All to take part in acting class so i can become an actress and create my own living in añ isolated world with my young sister Nour if she wont abandon me like others and to support the less fortunate . even though sometimes i go in depression i always overcome.As i always think that i am the survivor of DEPRESSION.

To be continue again

Life is filled with challenges and obstacles that we need to tackle with tenacity and grit.So we should all live for the moment's and for the moment's to become our life.When you look around and feel like nobody care about you just take a breath,look up and know that he cares for you.The Lord your God truly cares and never try to endyour life.

It's a life based true story of the Author:Dishyanah Can be found on Tiktok as @dishyanah or on Instagram as dishyanah_disha