Chapter 24
Soon I heard the sound of the door opening and then Umami's voice invited Papa to enter the room. I tried to stand up because I wanted to come in too. However, the dizziness just got worse. My head was spinning and then suddenly everything went black. I felt like I fell into a deep and dark hole, when I fell I could still hear Clara screamin.g my name.
Not long after, I woke up to hear Mama's voice whispering in my ear. Slowly I opened my eyes and smiled with relief seeing Mama who looked very beautiful in front of me.
"Mama! Mama has recovered? Thank God," I said gratefully. Mama just smiled then pulled my hand to stand up. Then he invited me to walk hand in hand.
It's a beautiful sight here. Where are we, Mom?" I asked. The place I visited was indeed beautiful, more like a picture of heaven I've ever read.
"Mama doesn't know where we are either. However, Mama likes being here," Mama replied. We continued to walk enjoying the scenery. I was surprised to see Mama who could walk with light and agile steps, even though she had just recovered from her illness.
"Mama, don't walk too fast. Careful! Mama just got better, you know!" I reminded her.
"Mama is fine, Clara. Mama doesn't feel pain anymore," Mama said without looking at me.
"Yes, Mama. Clara knows that, but Mama still has to be careful!" Mama stopped walking and plucked a white flower. She gave it to me with a smile on her face.
"You have to be careful, honey. Mama will continue to feel guilty if you do something wrong. You have to be happy, follow your heart. I believe you can make the right decisions."
"What do you mean? Clara doesn't understand, Mom."
"You'll understand later, Mama feels guilty for forcing you to accept the arranged marriage. I'm sorry," Mama said sadly. Her eyes looked far away, there was a sad hue on my mother's beautiful face. I invited Mama to sit under a tree. Many roots were sticking out of the ground around the big tree.
"Mama is not wrong, really. It was fate that Clara had to live with. Clara is also not angry or resentful towards Mama and Papa."
"I know you are a good child. Let's go again, you have to go home! You don't belong here!" Mama asked.
We walked again, until finally I saw a river. The water was so clear. I could even see a group of people swimming in it. Mama told me to go up the only one on the river bank. I got into the boat, I thought Mama would come too. However, Mama actually pushed the boat into the middle of the river.
"Mama, why is the boat being pushed. Mom hasn't come up yet. Come on, Ma hold the boat. Mama, hurry up!" I screamed in panic because the boat was moving further and further into the middle.
I kept shouting my name until the sound was almost gone. Mama waved from the river bank. I can still hear Mama's voice asking me to decide by listening to my own heart. I panicked more, the boat went faster because the river current was getting stronger. Mama was getting farther away, I felt like I just wanted to jump and swim to the river bank. However, I'm not good at swimming.
Finally Mama's figure completely disappeared from my sight because the river flow turned to the right. Now I'm alone drifting with the wooden boat in the middle of the river. I try to paddle with my hands, but my strength is not strong enough to bring the boat to shore. It feels, I am being carried further away by the wooden boat. Fear and worry are getting more and more rampant in my heart.
The boat kept going until suddenly I heard a rumbling sound ahead awa I to the origin of the roar. My eyes widened in shock when I knew the sound was coming from a waterfall and now the boat was speeding towards it. I can only pray for safety while closing my eyes.
My hands gripped the edge of the boat as my body began to fall down following the very high current of the waterfall. I could feel my body fall from a height and hit the water with a loud bang. Will I be able to survive this time?
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"Clara! Wake up, kid!" I could faintly hear Papa's voice in my ear. Like before, I slowly opened my eyes. I saw Papa, Cleo, Mas Azzam and my two in-laws.
"Where am I? Mama! Where's Mama, Papa?" I asked frantically. I tried to sit up, but Papa immediately stopped me. "Patience, Clara. We're still in the hospital. You passed out earlier," Papa answered.
Papa's voice sounded sad, but what made him sad.
"Fainted? Did I really faint, Pa? So that was just a dream or was it just my hallucination? I want to see Mama, Pa. Take me there!" I screamed hysterically. Cleo even burst into tears. Likewise with Mother-in-law, she cried in her husband's arms. What is this? Why are they all sad?
"Mama's gone, Ra. Earlier Anfal's heart and blood pressure were rising. Mama... is dead," Papa said quietly.
However, I still. could hear everything Papa said.
"Not!" I shouted in disbelief. How could Mama have died, didn't I just meet Mama. She has recovered, is healthy and looks very beautiful. Could it be just a dream, or a sign that Mama was saying goodbye to me when I passed out?
"Patience, Ra. We all feel what you feel too. Let's go home now, okay. Mama's body is ready to be brought home." Like a robot I listen to all Papa's words, even when Mas Azzam leads me to go home I can't refuse. It broke my heart to see Mama's body now lying in Papa's guest house.
Mama is gone, Mama is gone leaving me alone. While crying silently I hugged Mama's body which was getting cold and stiff.
"Mama, Clara is learning to be sincere. Clara dear, Mama. I'm sorry Clara who hasn't been able to repay all of Mama's services," I whispered softly in Mama's ear. That day, half of my heart was gone. Even though Mama is fussy and always angry with me and Cleo, but I know how much she loves both of us.
To be continued