"From now on, you will be known as Trainee Kim Ha-neul. So, Trainee Kim Ha-neul, welcome to SPK's training center."
Standing in front of the familiar building, a sudden sense of deja vu hit me as soon as the recruiter said those words.
'I'm back...'
After all, even though my years spent in this building had been some of the worst years of my life, in some ways, they had also been the best years of my life.
"As you've shown abilities far passing those of a normal first year trainee, we'll be placing you with the second year group."
Nodding after hearing this, as it was expected, I started walking in a certain direction before suddenly stopping, as I wasn't supposed to know where everything was after all.
"You're going in the right direction, Trainee Kim."
Looking back at the recruiter, I flashed a smile, nodding gratefully before continuing to head in that direction.
Acting normal, I looked down at the sheet of paper in my hand, detailing, first, my lodgings and trainee group, second, the resources I would be given, and third, my schedules for classes, eating, and exercise.
With my muscle memory guiding me, I started memorizing the schedules as my body walked itself into the second year dorms, straight to my room, which, coincidentally, was the same room I had been assigned in my past life during my second year.
With a passing glance upwards as I was walking through the living room of the dorms, I realized that I was currently the only one in the dorms, but this was expected as all the others were at classes right now.
As soon as I entered my room, I sat down on my bed and committed all of my brainpower to memorizing the schedule.
During this time, I found that I had less classes than what most of the others had, as I had shown proficiency in all three languages that we had to learn, Korean, Japanese, and English during the interview, so I had nothing to do during those times, the empty space filled with free periods or optional extra exercise periods.
As for the eating schedule, well, it was a pretty harsh diet that they were putting me on, as, even though I had the "perfect" body shape, this helped foster camaraderie between the trainees by putting them all in the same situation.
Basically, they were preventing me from becoming too narcissistic about myself, whether that be because of my looks or my skills.
Anyways, after I finished the memorization, I headed to the gym, as I had nothing better to do.
Putting in some earbuds that SPK had provided, I started dancing, letting the rhythm flow through my body as I executed the dances.
Rippling through the room, I lost myself in the music.
...
Wiping off my odorless sweat with my towel, I headed back to the dormitories, only to be met with a bunch of hyungs.
"Trainee Kim Ha-neul?" Asked the one in the front in a serious tone.
"Yes?" I replied, respectfully of course.
"..."
There was an uncomfortable silence as all of my hyungs looked me up and down, studying me.
But then, suddenly, breaking the tense atmosphere, all of them broke into smiles as they surrounded me.
Showering me with praise for being able to get to their year immediately, I could only politely try and navigate through them, but they left me no opportunity to do so.
Finally, after 30 minutes of hounding me with questions, one of the quieter ones in the back stepped up for me, and asked the others to allow me to shower.
Taking a look at the trainee that had spoken up, I softly smiled in thanks, before heading into one of the bathrooms.
Not caring about the temperature of the shower, as soon as I turned it on, I jumped in, as I started throwing up.
"Caaakkkkk!"
Throwing up everything I had in my stomach, holding my beating heart, I clutched my hands against my chest as I tried to deal with the sudden panic attack that I experienced.
I mean, who wouldn't be nervous when they had just met their idols?
Well, those hyungs weren't their later selves yet, but, you could see the shadow of their glorious selves there.
I could only squat down in the shower, clutching my head as I calmed my running thoughts.
After 10 minutes of just letting the water fun over me, I got over the high from meeting the people that I had always aspired to be, and I started to actually wash myself and the shower itself, making sure that none of my puke remained.
Finishing my shower, I quickly slinked into my room, so as to not allow my hyungs to catch me in the middle and subject me to another intense questioning period when I was more than half naked.
Pulling on my gray hoodie and sweatpants, I looked in the mirror, ruffled my hair, then stepped outside.
Walking down the stairs, I was met with the image of all the trainees sitting around a round table, eating their rationed food joyfully, a happy atmosphere permeating throughout the entire building.
Smiling as I watched from the top of the stairs, I could only think,
'This is why those years were some of the best years of my life.'
But, my smile quickly disappeared as I left the building, heading to a different spot on the campus, using the limited lighting to follow an overgrown path leading into the nearby forest.
Under the light of the moon, I walked around, as I started hearing the sounds of crying.
Quickly pinpointing the source of the sobbing, I hurried and found a small opening in the forest.
Looking at the scene, I felt painful twangs in my heart, as they resonated with the person crying there.
It was a girl, kneeling on the grass, her bare feet a little bit cut up, her disposition a mess, as she cried with her head hung over, her hair falling over and covering her face.
Looking at the sad figure of my future best friend, I remembered what I had been feeling when I had been in that exact same situation, the situation that had allowed us to meet in the first place.
You see, when two insecure people come together, well, it doesn't create a pretty atmosphere to say the least, but we found comfort in each other as we pushed each other up to the light.
But still, looking at the current, broken appearance of my best friend, I could only think one thing.
'And this is why those years were some of the worst years of my life.'