What am I even doing anymore?
This was a question that rang in my head over and over again as I walked out of the store with a plastic bag full of groceries.
I could barely even tell the cashier that I wanted to cancel an item.
When did I become like this?
Not five years ago, I was one of the top electrical engineers in the country and now I can't even express my basic needs to a stranger.
But this was my fault, all of it was my fault.
I had all the time and money in the world to do anything with my life, learn any skill, or go anywhere but all I ended up doing was sitting at home playing games, watching videos, and eating junk.
I continued my stroll down the busy city street, the day was hot and humid and I hadn't been outside for days. The bright afternoon light hurt my eyes and I was tired. Not from doing anything in particular, just a mix of a sedentary lifestyle and bad eating habits.
I must have looked like a walking corpse to the people around me.
The thought terrified me even though I didn't see anyone look at me I could feel their judgment.
A small part of my psychic acknowledged that I just didn't fit in with the people and society around me. That I was a foreign object and that sooner or later I would be purged from it.
I knew that this fear was irrational, simply the by-product of my imagination mixing with my insecurities, but it felt so real to me that I could almost grab the sensation from the air around me.
Even when I was very little I never enjoyed being with other people nor did I try to.
I've had my one-off school and work friendships, however, I never felt like I could properly connect with others.
It was like there was some invisible uncrossable wall between us.
To people's credit they never really accepted me either, at least I never felt accepted and appreciated for what I did or for who I was.
The vast majority of them were stupid, ignorant, and self-righteous in their contradictory beliefs.
So was I of course, but I hated myself as well. I've never been much of an exception in that regard.
So why am I here of all places, doing this of all things.
The birds and bugs in the area sang, the brakes of a car screeched and the sound of people screaming filled my ears.
I didn't know why I moved or why I felt compelled to take the action I took.
Did I think the boy's life was more valuable than my own?
Did I even value my life in the first place?
I would say that I was a nice person or at least I tried to be.
I always felt guilty about how anything I did affected others but I also wasn't the type of person to conduct random acts of altruism at my own expense.
My life flashed before my eyes but there wasn't much to see.
The cause was a mixture of apathy and a lack of self-discipline. I've always found it hard to motivate myself to do things without a deadline.
I never went out of my way to make happy memories always preferring temporary comfort to long-term achievement.
If there even was anything in life worth achieving in the first place.
I closed my eyes and I waited for the inevitable, accepting my fate.
The car crashed, the young boy who wasn't paying attention to the road fell hard onto the ground as I pushed him away from the vehicle I tried hurriedly to get out of the way but I already knew it was too late for that.
My last thoughts were of how the world failed me and about how I in turn failed myself.
…
I felt a gentle breeze swim across my face.
I opened my eyes to see a brightly lit stadium packed to the brim with people.
I quickly tried to take stock of my surroundings and noticed that I was near the upper right corner of a field within the stadium.
I saw a bunch of children equal parts male and female probably around the ages of 8 - 18 all dressed in sporting attire.
A girl who was shorter than me and who looked to be around the age of 14, ran up to me and hugged me tightly.
She was a lot stronger than she looked. She had long dark-purple hair tied in a fancy-looking ponytail and a very muscular physique for her age and gender.
She wore navy blue gym shorts with a yellow top and she moved with an almost commanding energy.
"That was so cool bro you left the other team in the dust there at the end," the mystery girl said as another girl around her age walked closer to us.
Her curly royal blue hair flowed freely at the back until it reached her shoulders. It also had a fancy overly stylized design on the front making her hairstyle look expensive.
She wore the same outfit as the other girl but this time the colors of the shirt and shorts were switched.
Her shirt was blue while her shorts were bright yellow.
"You did well bro, as expected, of course, we may get those special coins from that old man after all, I'm so excited!" the other girl said as she patted me on the back.
I could barely process what was going on just a minute ago I got hit by some random car on the street and now I was in some sort of stadium.
The wipe lash was intense but everything felt very natural and familiar to me.
I released myself from the yellow shirt's grip and gave her a natural smile. "I told you I could do it, your the one that couldn't see the vision" She smiled back naturally and turned around in an exaggerated motion which swayed her clothes a bit.
She then started walking to what I assumed to be the sitting area.
"Oh come on, you look tired so let's go get something to eat and take a rest, we still have a lot more events to do today, you especially"
I nodded, as we all moved to the sitting area near our bags, the girl with the ponytail practically skipped along ahead of us with a hungry expression. While the girl who called me her brother walked in step with me behind her.
I felt at home with them. I rarely felt at home with others.
…
The dream ended and I jolted awake. It felt strange, my body felt so stiff and weak that I could barely move.
At first, I thought I was laying in my bedroom until I noticed how unfamiliar my surroundings were.
I was in a fairly large concrete room with white and gold walls.
I couldn't see anything else but three people standing over me. A pretty well-dressed man was wearing a very strange but expensive-looking suit.
Another man who wore a t-shirt and jeans and a woman who simply wore an unassuming dress.
As I collected my thoughts I tried to talk to the people around me, asking them what was going on and where I was.
I couldn't speak my entire body felt strange it didn't even feel like I was the same person I was minutes ago.
Another thing that I realized was that I wasn't able to understand what the people around me were saying. I desperately tried to move my body to get out of the bed when another realization hit me.
I must have been very small relative to the people around me.
Instantly everything came together for me, like so many isekai protagonists before me I had been reincarnated in a whole new world.