There were times I couldn't stand spending time with my mother. She could be completely insufferable. She would always talk about how Rihanna had a boyfriend and had been in a relationship longer than 2 years. Not just a teenage relationship. If she remembers rightly, we moved away from our old home because of her job when we were younger. She would always say the relationship I had when I was younger was just a load of rubbish. For as long as I can remember the relationship I had with my childhood sweetheart was real. At least he didn't lie to me constantly as Adam did.
Mum and Rihanna were chatting away. They were talking about the possibility of Tyler asking Rihanna to marry her. Rihanna was saying how happy she was. How he made her happy. The fact that I was in the room with them seems to not exist.
"Charlotte, can't you at least pretend to be happy for your sister?" Mum asks.
I look up to the two of them. My relationship with my Mum isn't as great as it is with my Dad. Mum hated when I became a doctor. She thought a job like a teacher, a typical 9 to 5 was more suitable for me. Dad loved the fact that I am the one child who followed in his footsteps. Sure, he had a close bond with both my siblings. Gray being the only boy in the pack made him and Dad especially close. Me and Dad were so alike. Anyone who saw us would say we were each other's double.
"I have been happy for her. I am happy for her," I respond to Mum, sighing. I swirl the last bit of wine in my glass.
"Mum, we are being a bit insensitive. Adam just broke her heart and lied to her non-stop," Rihanna jumps to my defence.
I give my sister a small smile. She is definitely the best sister a girl could wish for. We definitely were the little sister and older sister who constantly get one another in trouble, sometimes in a world full of trouble. But, whenever I had or have a problem, I know my older sister is the person I can go to.
"But, it's been 2 months now. She needs to brush herself off and move on. Ask your father, he would agree," Mum replies gravely.
I sigh and clench my fists. Not because I am a violent person but my mother really frustrates the hell out of me.
"I am going to refill my glass," I sigh, getting up.
Mum and Rihanna don't say anything. I walk through to the kitchen and I go into the fridge, grabbing the bottle of wine that I am drinking from. Mum also has an issue with the fact I don't drink red wine like Mum. The one member of my family who cannot stand red wine. My Dad always said I had no palette for the red wine.
"You alright there, sweetheart?" I hear. I turn to see my Dad who looks absolutely knackered. He looks like he has had a tough day. Being a doctor can really take it out of a person. I know that more than anyone.
"Yeah. Did you have a good shift?" I ask him as I pour myself another glass of wine which I feel I really need tonight.
"It was a busy one. Can't wait for a day off," Dad sighs.
For a moment, I know exactly what that feeling is. I am currently on my two days off before I go back to work on Sunday.
"That was me a few days ago," I utter softly.
"How are Mum and Rihanna? Still chatting about Tyler?" Dad asks softly.
I nod and sigh. I can't stand people talking about love and stuff around me. Mum finds that selfish. She always says that \i should be happy for my sister. I should embrace the fact she has someone special and take a leaf out of her book. It actually hurts that she thinks I am hopeless in relationships.
"Yep, I had to get out of the room, as horrible as that sounds," I say.
Dad gives me a small smile and walks over, wrapping me in a hug. "That does not sound awful. You are still suffering from the heartbreak that little man child brought you," Dad reassures me. He rubs my back.
"Mum doesn't get it unfortunately. She thinks I should just be able to get over it," I say cheerlessly. It does make me sad. That the one person I ever loved I never really talk to anymore. And, Adam and I had a wonderful relationship. Our relationship was always too good to be true. He was wonderful when he wanted to. But, everyone told me he seemed a bit like a player. But I was in love and I didn't want to listen to what anyone had to say to me. Even if the bad times are making me stronger. I am very sure that one day I will look back on my relationship with him as something that made me a stronger person.
"The one thing I will say is you are a more sensitive flower compared to your sister and your mother. I think you get that from me. Your Mum is that type of person with a stiff upper lip and she expects you should be able to move on easily. But, it's not easy," Dad says. He pulls away from the hug, holding onto my upper arms. "Don't feel bad for going through heartbreak and for hurting. The fact you are still functioning after what that man child did to you is a miracle."
I try not to laugh at Dad calling Adam a man child. It is something that he has done a lot of times. He and Adam never really had a good relationship. Dad is the type of Dad who gives everyone a chance. He gave Adam a chance and he was nice. But. it was clear to me that Dad wasn't his biggest fan at all.
"I can't change what I am like. I feel like Mum expects me to just toughen up," I tell Dad.
Dad nods in agreement. "I think she doesn't understand how much you loved Adam. And, you have to remember, Mum is one of those lucky people who has never had her heart broken," Dad speaks softly.
"I know, but Mum had you. You aren't exactly the type of man to go around breaking hearts," I respond.
Dad winks before he brings me into another warm hug. He rubs my back again. He sighs, clearly doesn't know what to say to me.
"I wish I could take away all of the pain. You don't need to keep pretending you are ok. You had your heart broken," Dad says, pressing a kiss to the top of my head.
I just hold onto him feeling safe. For some reason I don't know what I really want to do. I wnt toc ry in all honesty. But, the idea of Adam winning and knowing I am crying over him is not something I want to give him the satisfaction of knowing I still cry about him. I close my eyes, trying to just silent my thoughts for a small moment. I just need a respite from my own thoughts and then I know I will be fine.
"Adrian? When did you get in?" Mum's voice calls and for a moment, I go pull away from the hug.
"Just a few minutes ago, love," Dad calls.
"I should probably cheer up a bit," I tell Dad as he withdraws from the hug.
"You say that again and I will hit you on the head with a book," Dad threatens with a grin on his face.
"Oh, Charlotte. You alright, love?" Mum asks me.
"Just dandy," I say, forcing myself to smile even if all I want to do is cry.
"It may help if you remember Charlotte has recently come out of a long term relationship when you are rubbing Tyler and Rihanna in her face," Dad says simply. I look at him horrified that he actually said it. But, I know it is him just looking out for me.
"Adrian, she broke up with him 2 months ago. She can't spend the rest of her life mourning the relationship," Mum responds sharply.
"Eleanor, you and I both know she's been through a lot. She isn't going to obsess over him for the rest of her life. But, she needs time to heal. Heaven's sake, she doesn't even want to talk about it to you because you rattle off about our other daughter's success in love," Dad replies, sounding frustrated.
"I am sorry I am happy for our daughter Adrian," Mum replies sarcastically.
"I am not saying you can't be happy. I am just saying be mindful not everyone is in a good place when it comes to love," Dad grits his teeth.
For a couple who have been together as long as Mum and Dad have been, they still have their fair share of disagreements. And, they are polar opposites. Dad was 23 when they got married and Mum was 19. Mum always expected Dad to be home to help with dinner and to never have to work a night shift. So when Dad decided not to become a GP it upset her to say the least. They are polar opposites and they have different ideals of the world. Mum is a headteacher and Dad is a doctor. They have different personalities. Yet, they gel so well together. The way Mum looks at Dad when they aren't having an argument is something to aspire to. They truly are each other's soulmates.
"I just think it is best for Charlotte to move on and find someone who deserves her love," Mum says. She looks to me with soft maternal eyes for a moment.
"I can agree with that. But, she isn't ready yet. She needs time to just settle. We don't want her on the rebound and getting herself in more of a mess do we?" Dad asks.
Mum considers what Dad has just said to her for a moment before she nods. She comes over to me and she gives me a gentle hug. "I know I am not as close to you as Rihanna. But, I do just want the best for you, sweetheart."
That is actually really nice to hear for once. I am used to being the child who made the mum proud, sure. But, also the upset that I didn't follow in her footsteps.
"I know you do. It just takes time for the heart to heal Mum," I say.
Mum leaves the room, leaving Dad and I in silence. I have a sip of my wine. I feel all sorts of thoughts starting to attack my head. One of them is reminding me how I do deserve better than Adam. That it is Adam who is missing out. One of the little thoughts goes back to Matthew. Wondering what he is doing now he's older. Is he still a total catch? Did he end up joining the police like he always wanted to? There is then this part of my brain trying to picture Matthew in uniform. He would definitely make a hot cop. I have no doubt about that. He was hot in the cadet uniform he used to wear. Not to mention the whole scout uniform and that ridiculous tie he used to wear.
"What are you thinking about?" Dad asks me.
I look up from my wine glass for a moment. "About Matthew. I haven't spoken to him in a long time. I wonder how he's getting on," I utter.
Dad raises an eyebrow. He was Matthew's biggest fan. He used to be the embarrassing Dad when Matthew was about. Making all those smooching noises. Telling us both how cute we were together, he loved the fact Matthew and I were together.
"How about you drop him a message? Just saying hi," Dad suggests, with one of those wiggly eyebrows. If he winks I swear I will actually assault him.
"I am considering it," I admit.
"What harm can be done? I am sure he thinks about you," Dad shrugs.
Part of me feels sad about that. I wouldn't guess he thinks about me that much anymore. We haven't seen each other since we were 16 years old. We last spoke a few years ago when he had finished university and we lost touch. That devil on my shoulder is telling me he wouldn't respond. But the angel is telling me to send him a message.
"I think I may do," I reply to Dad. There can't be any harm in sending a message right? It's not like we are in the same city or even the same county. Not as far as I am aware, anyway.