There was a boy she liked before, it was only one, and one-sided. She never confessed or even showed her feelings, because she felt that having a relationship during high school would only be a distraction to her studies.
That boy started dating one of her friends, and the feelings she kept died and disappeared. After that, she lost interest in intimate relationships even after becoming an adult, and the only boys who caught her eyes were idols and boybands.
She had never been touched and never been kissed.
So, at that moment, her mind was screaming about what to do next. Her wide-opened eyes shook as what was happening finally registered in her muddled mind. Her hands that caught in his slightly trembled and, unconsciously, she pulled them back but the Grand Duke didn't let go.
From the romance books she has read when a sudden kiss like that happens, the woman would either push away the guy out of shock or respond to the kiss.
But Mona did neither.
First of all, her hands are caught, and pushing is not an option, since, admittedly, she was indeed shocked but reluctant to end the kiss. And secondly, she doesn't know how to respond.
Does she need to open her mouth first? Then what's next? Mona wondered.
"Pfft."
She blinked twice after hearing that muffled laughter. Thinking that somebody might have seen them and started to laugh, she turned her head sideways to look for the witness.
"Ahahahahaha."
But immediately spun her head towards the Grand Duke, who was holding his stomach with his right hand while the left rested on her knees, laughing wholeheartedly all while his face was bright red.
Mona was dumbfounded.
What happened? Wasn't the Grand Duke kissing her? Or is the kiss just her illusion? Mona blinked again, but the image of the Grand Duke's blushing face with a wide grin on was still in her front.
"W-What?!" She asked hysterically, unsure of how to react.
Hiding his grin behind his hand, Kyden answered while stifling his laughter, "Nothing... just... hahaha... adorable... you are... haha." He cleared his throat, stood, and sat beside her again, ".... you should at least close your eyes."
".... w-what...", She blushed when she realized that while she was thinking what to do, the Grand Duke probably had pulled away already, witnessed her dumb face, and might even guessed her stupid thoughts.
'..!....Did I open my mouth when he already....!...fuck!..', She hid her horror-stricken face in her palms and screamed without a sound. She wanted to run away, but she would only look more stupid if she ran with her hands on her face.
In the end, she bit her lower lip and gathered the courage to ask him. Better to face the truth than run away from it, literally.
".... d-did you see....", She uttered in a small voice.
"Hm?" Kyden answered without looking at her.
Although she was covering her face with her head bowed down, she could tell him still trying to stop himself from laughing.
She bit her lips and tried to calm her beating heart, but every time she remembered the feeling of the Grand Duke's lips on her, heat rose on her face and her chest would drum again.
".... I am sorry, for laughing." Said the Grand Duke after a few minutes of awkward silence. His voice was firm and clear once again, but his sentence brought fear to her.
Is he going to apologize? Mona wondered.
A mistake. That's what she's afraid of. Telling her that it was all just a mistake, a spur of the moment. But a part of her was hoping it wasn't, that the Grand Duke really did like her.
But then Mona thought, if he does, then why not tell her? Is it that hard to confess?
"...why?" She asked him, looking ahead of them and not sparing him a glance, lest her pained expression might get discovered.
"I was.... nervous and acted on impulse, I did that so suddenly. But then, I saw you....."
She knew it. He acted on impulse. So, was that a mistake, then?
She wanted to believe that the reason he acted on impulse was because of his desire for her, how shameless it may sound.
She opened her mouth and replied in a very low voice, enough for the Grand Duke to hear, "I was asking why you.... kissed me..."
"..."
Silence answered her. And that pained her, she laughed bitterly and added, "Oh right, you acted on impulse-"
"You looked adorable."
She lifted her head and looked at him, only to find out that he was already staring at her. His deep ocean-colored eyes gaze at her as if she's the only thing that exists in that place. There were no traces of pink shades, no hesitation at his words as well.
"But one should not kiss someone just because they are adorable. Especially, if there's no relationship involved."
"T-That's right."
"So, what to do?" He inched closer and leveled his sight on her. "I kissed you. And I plan to do so from now on."
She gaped at him. If words are visible in one's eyes, the Grand Duke will see hers jumbled atop her head. Meanwhile, he said those words with a straight face but with a sincere look.
But what did that even mean? What did she need to do then?
The Grand Duke.... had just...like...confessed to her...right?
She recalled her thoughts earlier and felt ashamed after realizing something. Is it that hard to confess? For her, yes. Because of her insecurities and fear of what might be the result. But for the Grand Duke, who had no fear, it wasn't. Perhaps the reason it took longer, was because he felt unsure of his feelings before.
But....was he sure now?
"It means I'm asking you to....be in a relationship with me." He held her sweaty hands again, and continued, completely unfazed by his actions, "Not just an overseer and a subject, nor a friendly one. Be my woman, Mona."
His eyes were anticipating a positive answer, and she wanted to oblige on it, but her lips spoke what she'd been thinking about, "Are you...sure now?"
Kyden gave her a genuine smile that she rarely sees on him, "I've never been this sure. It came to me, that I feel unpleasant whenever you laugh at someone and because of someone. I had this urge to touch and embrace you when you look so adorable and endearing, as well as wanting you to be mine only."
Her eyes became moist.
She always frowned and cringed at that description of tear-involved confession, thinking it was only just an exaggeration to stir a reader's emotion and hook them to read more, and that it doesn't happen in real life.
But now, her own eyes felt the need to cry or else she'll burst. Even so, she held back her tears, yet a single drop escaped.
The Grand Duke cupped her face and wiped away that single teardrop, looking at her with so much emotion in his eyes. It overwhelmed her. And the last thread that ties her emotions in place snapped. And she cried.
Kyden embraced her, resting her tear-stained face on his chest. "You can add me to the things you own in this world since I'm most willing to be yours."
"...silly."
"But promise to make me your most important belonging and the top on your list."
"...like you."
"And make sure to...what did you say?"
Confessing is hard, especially if the other's feelings are uncertain. One might overthink, be pessimistic, and then get shut down by cowardice. In some cases, regret comes afterward.
It was lowly of her to wait for him to confess first and think that if he didn't, she might never have the courage to speak those words, but that's how she is. She was afraid of many things.
She hugged the Grand Duke tightly, and whispered again, pouring all her affection on her voice, "...I like you..."
'So, please, let your feelings stay this way forever...my lord.'