We had spent a few hours exploring the grounds before Nicolaus had to be called to a meeting with the king and his advisors. It was something I wasn't privy to and that suited me just fine. The last thing I wanted was to listen to this king's agenda. Though the question of an army still itched at the back of my mind. Aside from the few hundred guards, staff and servants, I hadn't seen anything even hinting at one. My father had an army, ready and kept at various points between Alowez and the Pollock sea with the knowledge that Mikal had the other side covered with his own armada. They had more along the shores leading along the Tiber and small camps that rotated their positions regularly. Even my uncle had an armada at his beck and call, an army as well, but smaller on the shores of Procyon.
Still, after spending some time searching silently with one of Nicolaus' men at my back, nothing seemed to show for a means of any defense here. Strong walls, a foundation that was carved out of the hardened earth itself. If it needed to, Sobell could defend itself easily, but it could also be cut off just as simply.
Studying a map in the great hall showed the territory that the castle sat on. The surrounding farm land, forest and land all spread out evenly. In the far corner, representing the west, was the beginning of my father's lands. It had been cut mostly from the painting. Huffing to myself out of the amusement of it, I put my hand on the raised rivers and valleys. The texture given to the painting was impressive. The trees even had some texture to them. As I arrived and searched, there looked to be darkened lettering, covered up in an attempt to hide a mistake. Though the shapes of the letters were muddled, my eyes narrowed as I tried to make them out. Pulling my hand back, I stood on my toes in an attempt to get a better reading on them, but it was pointless.
"My lady," the shadow of a man spoke so low I thought I imagined it.
Stepping in next to me, he seemed to be offering his own assistance. He was a foot taller and could see much more easily. Turning to the painting, he took a moment but managed to make out what it had once read.
"Silver City."
There was something that clawed at the corners of my mind at the voicing of those words. It took a moment for me to realize that my mouth was hanging open and he was waiting for some form of answer from me. Shaking my head, I frowned, even if it did spark a memory of some kind. It was nothing that presented itself.
"I don't recall anything of it. Strange," I narrowed my eyes, trying to grasp the memory that was locked behind a darkened door. "Either way, it looks like this is the Silver Mist forest. Over here there looks to be something, but whoever made the map mainly focused on Sobell castle itself. And over here is. . . home."
"You will be able to go back home, my lady." He offered softly.
"Yes," I nodded in certainty. I would go back home and if they tried to stop me I would do what I could to fight it. I had been granted a little freedom. I doubted it would go without observation. Even my guide will have his own shadows. "I will go home one day. Until then, I will need to try and make this my home. Have you been here long?"
He didn't answer me, reverting to his statue-like appearance. His jaw had been set and his lips were in an unmoving line. Rolling my eyes, I ignored it and, with one last look at the map, turned to the remainder of the hallway.
I knew from the great hall we could get to the main entrance of the castle, but if I made my way outside, I had a feeling my unguarded walk would quickly become overrun. Deciding on the blind curve, I turned without another word.
The only other guards that we met with were those that were designated for that post. None of them stopped us from wondering. They did watch us, however, their glares didn't go unnoticed and when they presented their spears, I had to keep myself from jumping out of my skin. It took some time but I realized they wouldn't run us through by the time we rounded the small curve. They were simply giving a silent salute but I hadn't deserved it. I felt embarrassment creep into my cheeks as I tried to keep my head high.
The one that followed me didn't say anything in ways of keeping me away from any part that I neared. He seemed worried that if he did, I would rip his face off. I just might, I hated being treated like a child and his form had more than once stood right next to me, unlike when he would leave at least three feet between us at all times. I wanted to shove him away, barely noticing the change in the floor for a moment until we passed over it.
My attention shot back to the way we had come. After the bend, we had a wall to look at, nearly cut off from the remainder of the castle itself. I didn't remember seeing this from my walk outside or on the way up, though I knew where this was coming from regardless. It was the connection from here to the Pollock. A giddy feeling of ease crept over me as I slowly walked over this portion of the floor.
Studying the wall, I made out a darkened door that wasn't lit by any light at all, though a cool breeze could be felt from deep inside. Following that, I didn't hear any protests from the man following me. However, when I tripped on the last step leading down, I saw him flash a hand out and catch my elbow. A ghostly touch before I was righted and it disappeared.
Ignoring this, I continued forward and, though it wasn't that big, I could still feel the vibration of the water tumbling over the rocks below. Looking out of the window to my right, I could see the lake. The late afternoon sun danced across the surface and gleamed brilliantly. To my left, there was nothing. The water simply disappeared and, instead, I was met with a wall of stone before it spilled out a distance down from a crevace that spilled out to what would eventually become the Tol.
The longer I studied the side of the rockface, however, the more I could see the making of a deep crack forming in the face. It jutted up from the opening, splitting off like the veins of a massive beast. Swallowing hard, I pushed the thought of falling to my death to the back of my mind. That would never happen, not in my lifetime at least.
The same feeling filled the soles of my feet on the other side of the bridge. But unlike the main part of the castle, this area seemed cold and closed off. Still, I followed where the stone floor led, my footsteps echoing off of the bare walls. I could just make out the sound of metal on metal, grunting and jeering. It was muffled but there seemed to be multiple voices as we neared whatever room was in front of us. A firm grip on my shoulder made me nearly jump from my skin for a second time that day as I turned and slammed my fist against something solid.
"A woman that knows how to fight," a thundering voice reverberated off of the walls. "What a welcome change of pace. I am sorry if I scared you missy. Give me yer hand and I'll get you out of here. I reckon you are here to speak with the captain?"
I didn't take the man's hand. My guard put himself between us in a defensive way but all the newcomer could do was laugh.
"No need for that. Captain told us you might wonder this way," the man's voice still bounced off the walls, even as he attempted to lower it. "I was asked to watch for you."
Unsure of how he would be able to see us, I turned to the way we had come. It was a straight shot across the bridge and the windows had allowed more than enough chances to see us coming. Glaring at myself, I tried to hide my moment of stupidity.
Silently, we followed him into what looked like an indoor training arena. Along the walls were shields, swords, spears and other various weapons. All looked to be well kept and practically new as they reflected the light that streamed from the open windows. Unlit torches lined the walls, indicating that they trained well into the night if ordered. As we arrived, the sounds of painful grunts and slaps rung out, two men were fighting one another on the floor. One holding the other in a head lock as the ladder struggled to free themselves.
The man who had led us to where the noises came from, looked around and frowned to himself. Turning with a sigh, he shook his head.
"I am sorry, my lady. I thought that he would be back by now."
My shoulders fell at this. I didn't want to go back to the castle, but I also didn't want to be followed around any longer. The hope was to see Ayon and ask about the trip to the village and when it would be happening. I knew I shouldn't push it with Nicolaus' spy on my shoulder, but I didn't want to fill my days with idle gossip. I still hadn't been able to find Eryn and her absence, especially this early on, began to worry me.
If she had found the same cave I had, that tree or whatever it was, would she succumb to similar men? Had Ayon found her or was he not even aware of her presence? Swallowing hard, I listened to the sickening crack of a man's jaw as the other rammed his elbow down into it. Surely dislocated, it didn't prevent the ladder from getting out a few satisfactory hits of his own.
Pressing my lips together, I thanked the man who led us down and turned back to where we had come from. I wanted to find Eryn but I was hungry and getting tired. I didn't want to sleep here, I didn't want to be watched constantly. The idea that they would be in my room if they were ordered didn't sit well, but that extreme crossed my mind and I quickly left. Taking a deep breath, I walked back across the bridge and into the castle once again as I tried to retrace my steps back to my room.
Men and women all darted around the halls, disappearing and reappearing through various doors. When they saw me, they managed to curtsy or bow before going about their business. They seemed to be too preoccupied with their tasks to do much else. I was fine with this, it meant that I wouldn't be the focus of attention. There was no need to worry about it, I would be queen soon and, from what I could see, they feared the king. Why would the new king and queen be viewed any differently? I didn't want to be feared. I didn't even want the position. I hadn't been groomed for it and any misstep could mean disaster.
I had gotten lost but also distracted along my way back to my room. While the servants were busy, they opened doors to many different rooms that no doubt belonged to the courtiers that resided inside the castle. The beds and smells coming from within were far too favorable to be the servants' quarters. The linens and clothing that were taken in and brought out were lavash as well. It looked like they were all getting ready for another party.
Cringing at the thought, I retrained my focus to find my room. I didn't want to attend another party, I didn't want the one last night. I could drink fine, but I would much prefer to do that alone or with a small group of people. I knew that this would be frowned on, everything I did in the coming weeks leading up to my wedding was going to be judged. Everything I said was torn apart and dissected before being spread around and twisted.
"Nyx," Nicolaus' voice entered my thoughts. "Where are you going my trinket?"
Letting out a shuttering breath, I didn't expect to see him again today. Part of me hoped I didn't, but in a strange way, his appearance was comforting.
"Just wondering around is all," I turned to him with a smile. "How was the meeting?" His hands were instantly on either side of my face as he pressed a firm kiss to my lips. Gripping the backs of his hands, I smiled as the heat rose to my cheeks.
"Much better now that I can see you again," his hand was back in its normal place, anchored on my hip as he turned us from the main doors. "I have plates being brought up to your room. I didn't think you wanted to attend this party as well. It isn't really a party, more of a gathering that happens every night. Here, I'll help you back to the bedroom. If you ever need help, all you need to do is ask."
Pouting slightly, I looked at him, then, without saying much else, I let him lead me to the bedroom as my stomach growled and indicated that I hadn't eaten for some time. Nicolaus looked down at me with concern in his eyes. Ignoring it, I rested my head on his shoulder as we neared the stairs now leading to my room. I recognized them immediately and went ahead of him.
Inside, the platter had already been delivered along with a large bottle of wine and candles all set up on a small table with a sheer white cloth over it. Feeling the corner of my mouth twitch, I turned back to Nicolaus and tried to give it to him. I was nervous about enjoying this but the butterflies in my stomach fluttered relentlessly.
Taking his hand, I led him to the table. The fireplace was alive with a warm glow, providing heat against the little breeze that came in from the open doors across the room. The meat made my mouth water the most when the lid of my plate was lifted. Next to that was a baked potato with melting butter and what I assumed were green onions on top. Fruit, wine, cheese and bread all decorated the table to choose from as well. My goblet was filled by Nicolaus, who watched me take in the servings presented.
"What?" I finally asked him after he had looked at me for so long but still said nothing to me. Stabbing my steak with my knife and fork, I cut a piece away as I looked at him. "Nika?"
He smiled at this old name, leaning forward he took a bite of his food. The steak juice leaked from the corner of his mouth as he watched me pull my piece into my mouth. It melted almost instantly and I wanted more as quickly as possible. Nicolaus smiled at me before taking a drink of wine and clearing his throat.
"How was your exploration?"
My eyes widened at the sudden question. "It was fine, I got lost a lot but that's expected. I don't want to ask for help unless I have to, I'll have to learn my way around eventually."
Poking at the food on his plate with his fork, Nicolaus sighed heavily. "Why not learn about the castle first, then before going into the forest? If no one knows you here, they won't know you at all there."
"Who is to say we will run into any humans?" Shrugging it off, I decided to be honest with him. "I don't want to be stuck in the castle, I want to go out there and see things. How better to do that than start right away? They've already seen my face in the village and the king has already given me his blessing."
Nodding slowly, Nicolaus took several more bites before he said anything else.
"My aunt will be here by tomorrow evening. After that, the wedding plans will move along very quickly. They want us married on or before the bicentennial of the signing of the peace treaty."
So my wedding isn't even my own. I thought to myself, piercing the inside of my lip between my teeth.
"That's less than three weeks away."
He nodded, seeming to be unphased by this information.
"You knew when it would be?"
He shrugged dismissively. "It was mentioned but never settled on. Didn't your father tell you anything about this?"
I suddenly felt sick. Pushing back from the table, I got up and tried to take slow deep breaths as I felt a panic attack creeping its fingers along my back and shoulders. I knew it would be soon but I thought it would be months, maybe a year. Not as short amount of time as a few weeks. How did they expect me to be accepted or even adjust? Shoving a hand through my hair, I made my way to the balcony and began taking deep lungfuls of air.
"It will be fine, trinket." Nicolaus reassured me, his voice close now. His hand presented itself in front of me as I clung to the railing and stared into the open night. "We will be married soon and then we will be able to make little princes and princesses without the worry of comment."
Snatching the goblet from him, I swallowed it all down at the mention of children. I hadn't even thought about that. I didn't want to be a breeding machine just to make them all happy. I didn't want any of it to be that way. I wanted to be happy with Nicolaus.
The goblet was taken away and a short time later was replaced again by another full glass. Nicolaus stood next to me now, drinking from his own goblet. However, he wasn't looking out into the night sky, or to the lake below. I could feel him staring at me, waiting for any form of a response.
Taking another long drink, I felt it settle and warm my entire body. I was instantly relaxed and ready to slump down into one of the plush chairs that were set up for me to sit on. Instead, I felt two long arms wrap themselves around me and pull me in close. Bringing my hands up to grip his forearms, I rested my back against his chest and listened to his breathing. It tickled the top of my ear as I sipped at the remainder of my drink.
"What if I can't have children?" I didn't mean to say it out loud but it was a fear that every woman had when faced with a powerful partner. If they couldn't produce an heir, they were useless. "Will you have me sent away or have me killed?" I asked, only half joking.
Nicolaus squeezed me tighter against him, his voice soft in my ear as his chest vibrated.
"That won't happen. I will never let anyone harm you."
Kissing my ear, he pulled back inside and helped me to lay down in bed. He lay next to me on top of the covers, the room still the perfect temperature for us to remain uncovered. Rolling to my side, facing the middle of the bed, I watched as Nicolaus shrugged his shirt off and kicked his boots to the floor before laying down next to me.
Wrapping his arm around my waist, I let him pull me in against him. I was nonresistant, feeling sleep pull at the corners of my mind and keeping my eyes closed longer every time I tried to blink. Taking a deep breath, I finally gave in and rested my forehead against his chest. It was hard, surprisingly enough for a prince. I had seen him as frail but still impressed every time I saw or felt him.
Curling my arm against his chest, I fell asleep rather quickly against his chest. I thought I could hear something outside the door but didn't care to know what it was. All I wanted was sleep and to forget what Nicolaus had said. Babies and marriage were the two things that I wanted furthest from my mind and sleep was the easiest way to get that.