thanksXavier's point of view
Monday morning is pretty normal. no one knew what I was going through Because no one knew that Caleb and I were ever together. I run my fingers through my hair and breath. I don't think I can do this, I don't think I can walk into that school and see him with Sophie. I'd loose it, I'd break down and cry in front of everyone.
"hey" I hear Micheal's voice, it fill me with relief and tears rush to my eyes. "hey, are you okay, you look like you're about to cry?" a sudden wave of calm washes over me
"I am but it's good tears" I pull him into a hug. "I'm so glad you're here"
"uhm, am I missing something here?" he asks as he awkwardly wraps his arms around me, trying to return the hug "should I be worried?... wait, should I get Shawn, do you need Shawn?!!"
"no, no... right now you're here and I need you" I pull away from him and take his hand in mine. "by any chance do you like boys?" I asked him.
"is this your play at flirting with me?" he asks, a coy smile on his face. I know he's evading my question, so I let it go.
"yes... you just happen to be soooo irresistible and tantalizing" his smile is bright and full and it makes sense why Shawn is so (not) obviously in love with him.
"why thank you my good man, I'll consider you when I'm picking a forever mate" he turns and looks at me with a lopsided smile. "can I ask a question?"
"what?" his smile was easy. everything about him was beautiful. his shaved, white hair, his pretty freckles and even his crows feet. it would be easy to love him... why was Shawn fighting this so hard? they would be so perfect for each other.
"you're a very physical person..." he says swinging our interlocked hands between us. "you like to touch and be touch... I don't mean that in a sexual way." he looks between us, at or intertwined fingers. "like now, you didn't realize you were doing it, you just did... why?"
"... sorry, I didn't know.. i.. " I try to take my hand out of his but he doesn't budge.
"I'm not saying it's bad, I'm just asking" he say and I calm a little.
"I'm kind of aware I do but I don't do it intentionally... my dad, he was a really physical person, he'd pat my hair or kiss my cheek or hug us without a reason and I guess I see it as a normal interaction" it wasn't really hard to figure out why I did that, I was naturally drawn to the people I cared about, my hands would move and touch them against my own volition and my heart would instantly reach out to them, it was why I was this way, I loved way too easily and way too quickly because my heart and my body was moved at their own pace.
he nods a little and then reaches over and pats my hair. "I'll try to be a little more physical then. you literally preen whenever Shawn or Maddie touches you... I like that" he pulls in closer to me and our shoulders touch. "I'm not really used to people touching me but if it makes you happy, knock yourself out" his smile is full and it reaches his eyes. "so, how are you feeling?"
"sad but good" I say honestly. "I'm sad that we aren't together and it honestly hurts like hell but I feel kind of good, that I'm not completely wreaked... that I can still function without him." I was killing the mood but I could tell he didn't mind.
"want me to be rebound?" he says, humour dancing in his eyes "or we could just skip school and go get married?" he said and I Chuckle a bit. he liked boys, obviously but he was too in love with Shawn for me to do anything about the way he made me smile and laugh, plus, let's not kid ourselves, I was way too in love with Caleb to do anything about my feelings.
I went to my first class which was biology, Caleb and I had the class together and I dreaded running into him, my heart couldn't take being around him. but I never found him in any of the classes we shared. I didn't want to see him but where the fuck was he?.
all in all the day was looking up, I didn't have to see Caleb, there was no fucking drama and I hadn't burst into tears... yet. but that thought went to shit when Sophie Cheng cornered me out side of the gym.
I tried to move out of the way but the bitch didn't let me, she followed and blocked my path "uhm... move out of my way"
"I need to talk to you" was all she said before she walked away. did she expect me to follow her. who did she think she was?, she fucking won, what more could she want?.
I let out a soft chuckle and turn the opposite direction of where she went. I need to go that way too but I was petty enough to not follow her. I would rather go around the school than follow her, she'd seek me out again, I was sure of that but I'd also be sure that she did it in my own territory.
"Castor?!" she screamed at me when she noticed I wasn't following her.
"I'm not your pet" I said loud enough for the whole hall to hear. "if you want to talk to me, you'll have to follow behind me" I didn't even turn around when I said this. I was past Caring. I heard the shuffle of feet and smiled to myself. she wasn't going to get to see that she won.
"you think you're so high and migh— "
"Sophie, Don't you ever get tired of running your mouth, say what you want to and shut the fuck up" I cut her off. I was in a bad mood today and I'd gladly take my anger out on her. after all, her boyfriend is the reason I'm like this. it hurt, thinking of him as hers rather than mine. but he didn't want to be mine and I wasn't going to cry myself a river over that.
she let out a small sound of disbelief. "Caleb's not here" was all she said and I stopped walking.
"so?" I raised a brow at her.
"so???? Caleb doesn't miss school, he might be a jock but he's fucking intelligent and he needs a good attendance to get into an ivy league school" she said and i frown as I started walking again.
"I know that but why does it have anything to do with me?... you're the girlfriend, remember?" I said to her and she smiled slowly.
"you're finally admitting it, aren't you?. I'm the girlfriend, he's mine" she said her voice dipped in sugar. "you thought you were all that when he was fucking you in the back of his car, you thought you were so special because he let you go to the beach house... you're nothing special, Xavier, he's done with you and he's finally found the one that was meant for him" I looked around the hall, it wasn't empty. people were leaving their classes and heading for the next one. they were at least a hundred student in the hall and at least five of them were within ear shot.
I lowered my voice before I spoke. "are you an idiot or something? by all fucking means, you won, you have him, you should be happy but I will be fucking damned if you out him because you can't keep yourself from running your mouth like a pathetic little girl" I hated Caleb so much right now but not so much that I could out him.
"that's none of you damn business, Cas— " her voice was loud and I could see a few students turn to look our way.
"and it's none of yours either!" I hissed at her, shutting her up completely, not ever raising my voice even an octave higher. "I get you are his girlfriend and all that shit but no one, absolutely no one has the right to out anyone. and God knows I hate Caleb right now but I will Never do anything to hurt him"
her nostrils flare as she tries to form word but I cut her off before she even speaks. "you've won, you're the girlfriend, now use you special bae tracking powers and find your damn boyfriend and stop involving me in your lovers quarrel" I quickened my pace so she wouldn't catch up. "toodle-oo, Sophie!" I say as I leave
she doesn't follow but I can feel her gaze on me as I leave. i would like to tell myself I didn't care but deep down, I was beyond worried for Caleb... where the fuck was he?