Xavier's point of view
Mom was fussing over me. the police officer didn't just take we home, he walked me to the door and knocked on the door and spoke to Mom, him and his partner had come together, one driving Amber's car and one driving his police car, he'd drop the car off and has left with his.
he didn't tell her about the crying but he did say I was driving a little too fast and I didn't look like I was in a right enough head space to drive.
she'd been able to tell I was crying. when took one look at me and knew. she didn't know why but she knew that I'd cried my eyes out. she made me some tea in the kitchen and tried to get me to talk about it but I couldn't. I felt numb, I felt like everything was over. my heart wasn't just broken, it was torn to shreds and lit of fire.
"hey Vee, how was your little party?" Wendy and Amy were coming down the stairs.
"why's everyone still awake?" I ask because they were all up at nearly two in the morning.
"we were watching a Grey's anatomy Marathon, we went upstairs to put Josh to bed because he was tired.... what's wrong?" he could see me a little clearer now.
"nothing, I'm fine"
"no you're not" mom and Wendell say at the same time.
"guys, I'm seriously fine, perfect, dandy...phen... phe... ph..." I broke into sobs as I tried to say the word phenomenal.... who was I kidding I was a fucking mess.
"oh, my baby" mom muttered and came to my side immediately, wrapping her arms around me. Wendell did the same and pulled Amy until they joined In the hug. they seemed a bit nervous but to tried to offer me comfort, I loved them even more.
"wanna tell us what Happened?" Amy asks softly. "or do you wanna go to bed first?" they say again
"yeah, bed first" I stand up and make my way upstairs. I bump into Quinn on my way upstairs and the smile filled with pity that she gave me lead me to believe she knew. I ignore her and open the door to my room, dropping down unto the bed.
I grab one of the pillows and pulling it to myself, curling myself up into the fetal position. My shiver as the tears pool in my eyes and I break into sobs.
"I'm an absolute idiot" I mutter as I cry myself to sleep
Sunday rolls in and I don't leave my room, I do however sit by the window and watch until Mr police officer drops off Amber's car. Mom comes by a bunch of times and drops off food for me and tells me that she's here if I want to talk about it. I told her I would take her up on the offer but god knows I didn't want to because I'd told her we were dating and she was happy for me but now she'd be sad and she'd hate Caleb, I didn't want her to hate him... what he did was terrible but I didn't want her to hate him.
I knock come on the door. "go away Quinn!!!" I scream at the door as I sit by the window, looking outside like some kind of Disney princess.
"not Quinn and not going away" My heart races as I here Shawn's voice. oh know. as I here his voice, I remember what I said last night.
"we shouldn't have done this, I should have stayed away from you... maybe if I did, i would have been with shawn right now... maybe all these feelings i have for you, i would have had for him... maybe i would have even loved him"
why did I say that?... of course I knew why I did it, I meant to hurt him. I knew that would hurt him and I used it against him.
I get up and unlock the door, it's not just Shawn, Amber's with him, they both attack me with a hug. "why didn't you tell us you were dating him, huh?!" Amber yells at me.
"I.. I .." I wanted to tell him I loved him before I told them about our relationship. "I was scared of how you'd react" I lied.
"why would you be scared?... you know what, Nevermind that, how are you... how are you feeling?"
"we broke up, so..." I feel my eyes fill with tears.
"wanna listen to Jessie murph and Conan grey and cry some more?" Shawn asks softly, never letting go of me.
"uh huh" I mutter softly. Amber was the one to let go first, she rounded us and went for the Bluetooth speaker on the desk while Shawn led me to the bed, we drop down on the bed without letting go of each other. "before you" comes blasting out of the speaker.
This was me and Amber's thing, listening to love songs when we're sad and crying curled up against each other. Shawn being here with us meant he was one of us... it wasn't just the two of is anymore... it was the three of us. the bed dips and Amber's In bed with us, throwing an arm over me and places it on Shawn's arm.
"why didn't you tell us you were dating Caleb?" Amber asks beside me.
"I don't know... bad timing?... I just- it felt like I wasn't being attentive, you guys had your own problems and I never pay attention to you guys
" I'm always talking about me and Caleb and you're always doing your part but.. but I wasn't doing anything for you guys, you had your problems and I barely notice and when I did, I wanted to help, I didn't want to make it all about me... I'm sorry I lied to you guys" I rush the words and they listened.
"I knew, from the start that you two were dating, you energies towards each other change and it just blended in with each other when you're together" Shawn say and I'm confused... what did he mean by energies.
"God, you sound like a monk. Energies? what does that even mean?" Amber says with I slight laugh.
"it means that I feel when people's energies change, how your energy went from bright and sharp to dark and dull and Wednesday morning, which I'm guessing is the day after you told your mom you were gay. The same way I feel your longing whenever you're around Quinn and the same way I feel Quinn feelings changing towards you" After he says this the room goes quiet. I curl deeper into Shawn because I knew he'd never joke about something like than when I was sad and I could tell it took alot of courage to tell us.
"what... what does Quinn's energy feel like?" Amber breaks the silence
"how it always feels or how it feels for you?" his voice vibrates in his chest and j hear his words because my head his rested on his chest.
"both"
"it usually feel like Xavier's... or at least close to his, it's colourful and pure, it burns bright and glows, it's happy and changes to match when it feels another's sadness, when she's around you though, it changes pretty quickly... it gets angry then sad then hurt, you hurt her and that makes her sad but she's also angry, her anger doesn't feel hateful, it feels inward, it's not directed at you, it's directed at herself" I feel Amber's arm tighten around me.
"how do you know how we feel?" I ask because it was clear from her silence that Amber needed time to think.
"I don't know... I can just feel it... the best way to describe it is..." he pauses to think about it for a few seconds. "it's like a cloud, it radiating off everyone and I see it and I feel it and I can read it"
"doesn't that scare you?... knowing what people think... feel about you?" he felt how I felt when we broke up. how I pitied him... he knew how I felt for caleb and still dated me.
"it did but it doesn't anymore, why should I fear something that's apart of me" he didn't really answer the whole question and I didn't want to press him for an answer. "it always hurts when I hear the words people say and feel their energy and know they mean it... when my dad says he doesn't want a fag for a son... I feel it too, the hate, the fear, it makes it even more real"
"it's doesn't matter how he feel, it matters how you do" Amber says, finally getting out of her fuck. she takes a loud breath, the one she usually takes when she's about to confess something "Quinny kissed me, right after she beat the shit out of alex"
"what?!!!!" I scream.