he kissed me.
I'm frozen. his lips on mine, just there, unmoving. I push myself against him, kissing him back, he finally moved his lips, using his tongue to push between my lips, he spreads my lips and forces his tongue between my lips and I moan, shuting my eyes. his hand wraps around my waist, sliding down me and ending at my ass, cupping them in his hands.
he lifts me up and wraps my legs around his waist and pushes into me and presses me against the wall, grinding up against me. I know this is bad because it's a first date and I shouldn't be doing this but it feels so good. i slid my fingers up his black shirt, rubbing his flat stomach and feeling him up before we break apart for a split second as I slid his shirt off him.
he carries me until we reach the bed and he drops us unto it with him on top of me, his tongue in my mouth. things get hot as he grinds against me and I grind right back. dry humping had no business feeling this good. I moan and shut my eyes. my mind keeps screaming "bad idea!!! bad idea!!!" but my dick is saying "more clothes off!!! more clothes off!!!". I do what my dick tells me and adjust myself so I could take off my shirt.
"you have a pretty body" Shawn says and kisses my stomach, licking it up my chest and latching his mouth unto my right nipples.
"oh god.." I moan softly because, it feels so good. he switched to the other nipples and does the same thing, giving more attention to this one. "ahh... "
"I really like you, Xavier" and then I snap out of it because all I can see is Cal and all I can feel is Cal's hands on my body and his tongue on me.
"Shawn... " his name is caught on a moan as he bite my nipple. "Shawn?"
"mhmm" he hums is answer and keeps kissing down my body, reaching my pants and unbuttoning them.
"Shawn, the date!" I say to him and he stop and looks up at me, eyes glossy and lips pouting.
"Xavier" he says my name and in my head, I can hear Cal saying my name. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that" he gets off me and sits next to me on the bed. he looks at me and smiles, brushing my hair away from my eyes. "I'm sorry"
"it's fine, it's just... I've never... " I can't get the words out and I think he gets it
"I guessed it" he says and I look at him. "the way move against me, the way nervous, the way look at me sometimes. it's easy to see I'm your first boyfriend"
"bo... boyfriend?!" I whisper.
"shit, I'm sorry, I was gonna ask you tonight after our date... I'm sorry, Vee" he say and I giggle and kiss him. the kiss is softer and sweeter and slower. I pull away when his hand slids down my chest. "sorry" he say with a small laugh. "so, you're my boyfriend?"
"yeah, I'm your boyfriend" he smiles and I giggle and jump into his arms, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and he kisses me softly, on my lips, on my chin, on my neck and then I remember I don't have a shirt on. "Shawnnnnnn... " I whine.
"come on, just a little more, babe, pretty please. you're the pretty in the please" he says and I giggle again. I'm all bubbling and smiley and j shouldn't be this way because of a boy. wait, is this the "boy lust" the kid told me about?.
"but I got all dressed up for you and now you're taking my clothes off. please, can we go out on our da.... ugh!" I moan out as he kisses just below my stomach, when did he get down there?. "Shawn..?"
"ugh... " he says jokingly and rests his head in the space between my legs, holding his head upright with his palms, elbows on the bed. "okay, okay, I'll stop. what do you wanna do today?"
"uhm, I dunno, you were the one that asked me out, so I kinda guessed you'd have planned it out" I tell him and he smiles.
"I'm messing with you" he says and sits upright, picking up my shirt from the bed and handing it to me. "we're going roller skating, then we'll go get ice cream and then we'll do whatever you want?"
"you smile alot, you have a really pretty smile" I had absolutely no idea I had zoned out and was staring at his perfect smile and perfect face. he's perfect, just perfect.
"well, if he is, why do you keep comparing him to Caleb Keller" my subconscious says. "you say he's perfect, so why did Caleb slip into your mind while you were kissing this perfect boy?"
"you weren't paying attention, were you?" Shawn says. I look at him and I notice his shirt was back on.
"no, I wasn't" I say and sigh, lifting myself off the bed. "I was lost in your eyes" I say romantically and he laughs. "my mom went out to get some stuff and I'm pretty sure she'll be back in ten minutes. so, we need to leave before she gets-" my door swings open and Quinn is standing there.
"Shawn White, that's the shawn you were talking about?" she asks, her left hand on her hip. "I thought you were out"
"we were about to leave"
"or... you were being a whore?" she says and moves closer to us on the bed.
"I wasn't-"
"you were too, your face is as red as a fucking tomato, Vee" she says my name mockingly.
"what are you doing in my room?" I say back as defense.
"not getting manhandled by a boy!!!" she snarks. "sorry, Shawn, could you please leave, I want to use some interesting words on my brother"
"uhm, Vee, I'll wait for you downstairs" he scoots close to me and kisses on the lips for three seconds. "bye, Quinn"
"bye, darling" she says sweetly. the second the door slams it start.
we don't like when the other dates. it has nothing to do with logic and this is specifically between the both of us. it's not about our boyfriend or girlfriend or person, it's about us. I can't explain it clearly but it's obviously toxic.
"you're dating now" she says it as a fact.
"yes, we are" I tell her.
"do you like him?"
"uhm... "
"do you like him?" she says, tone changing slighly
"yes... maybe... I don't know, Quinn" I say softly and she sighs and the tension in the room drops. "I like him and I like... Cal" she's beside me on the bed.
"do you think you can get with Caleb?"
"yes and no"
"yes, because he likes you and you like him back and no, because Caleb will pick one of the girls, right?"
"right" she's lays back down on the bed and she quiet for a full minute. "what?"
"just exist, dude" she says and I laugh.
"no, don't go all chill hippie on me" I warn her. "this is why everyone thinks you're a homeless lesbian"
"I have a home and I'm not a lesbian... probably. so, I'm not a homeless lesbian"
"probably-"
"that's not the point!! the point is that you need to exist, you need to just be. it doesn't have to be Caleb or Shawn, it just has to be you. Exist and find what floats your boat. Jesus, it's not that hard" she says and I think, how tge fuck is dating not hard?. "what do you think about me dating Maddie ?"
"is that what you meant by probably?"
"probably" I sigh. "its a hypothetical question "
"find what floats your boat, if Maddie floats it, then you boats it"
"that doesn't make sense"
"not everyone has to be and smart as you, Quinn" I say her name as mockingly as she had said mine.
"especially you"
"what is that supposed to-" I feel her grab unto my hand tight. "what?"
"I feel like you're leaving me again" she says and I immediately understand the use of the word 'again'
"Never, again" I whisper and wrap my arms around her. "I love you"
by the time we went downstairs, mom was... conversing with my boyfriend. by conversing, I mean interrogating.
"no!!" I scream from the bottom of the stairs shocking them both. "you!!!" I scream pointing at mom. "step away from the defenseless boy!!!"
"Xavier stop-"
"he said step away from the defense boy!!!" Quinn screams too. "step away!!!"
"defenceless!" i whisper to Quinn
"i mean, he said step away from the defenseless boy!!" she turns and looks at me. "that better?"
"yeah" i give her the thumbs up
mom takes a step away from Shawn.
"Shawn, could you wait for me outside?" I ask, smilingly.
"yeah, sure" he says confusedly but he went. "damn, your family is... interesting" he says as he leaves
"you evil, evil woman" I say with the shake of my head. "for shame, mom... for shame" I whisper. "and to think you would have learned your lesson after Amy and Josh"
"for shame!!" Quinn concurs.
"dear God, why did I have kids?" mom asks herself as she leaves the room.
"what is that suppose to mean?!!" me and Quinn scream.
"nothing?!" mom says
"I am a National treasure, a perfect child, who the heck are you to tell me that you shouldn't have had me?!!!" Quinn screams and follows mom out the room.
I listen to them as their voices fade. I'm a lucky person to have such an amazing family. i walk outside the door and I see Shawn waiting for me in front of his car.
"you ready?" Shawn asks.
"always" my first date with a boy, let's see how that goes.