The kind of neighbours here are made of a funny collection. I think they look like that coat Joseph's father made for him if they are put together. You want an expert in theft you will get a bunch, you need one to be hired as a mourner you will not miss that too. Are you looking for a traditional mid wife or herbalists? Night runners, experienced gossipers or the lazy ones. I have an annoying but selfless neighbour. Each time she gets into a quarrel with the husband she will wail and wail, swear countless times and curse words that cannot be written. The funny part is that she can wail the whole day but her voice would not be hoarse.
There is this one who got married before she was eighteen. Her parents came over and they negotiated with the husbands family away from the law and they are now married with several kids. She is only twenty but with four kids already. No decent roof over her head and food is never guaranteed. She does not even have the money to enrol the older child to enrol the eldest child in a public kindergarten and the kid is overgrown to be in nursery. The husband could have been employed as a manual worker but he is too lazy for that. The last job his younger brother found for him, was too tiring and had to resign.
The other neighbour at the gate is the worst. He has been beaten severally because of theft. The last time he was beaten he sustained bad injuries with a broken leg. Guys here do not so much follow the law, only the few literate ones. If you commit a mistake then you will be at the mercy of the villagers. He has to feed the wife's store. Jacky the wife usually refers to her stomach as a store which has bore babies and has to be well taken care of.
The one family I love is the pastors family. It is made of loving and polite members. The man is over generous and he will not even harm a fly. If there is one person I think heaven was made for him.
There is also another neighbour near the road. She is in a polygamous marriage. My cousin refers her house as a pigsty. The woman is dirty and always disorderly. You will find her childrens clothes all the way that leads to her house to the kitchen. She stays with cornrows until they overgrow that you will think she keeps afro hair. The husband has hawk eyes and keeps track of her whereabouts, one thing I do not like about her is that she never repays debts. The couple next to the disorderly one is most hardworking .They do farming all year round. I wonder how it feels to shake their hands. They must be really strong and tough.
And hear comes the couple who Ben the herdsman usually refers to the man of the house as an adulterous stupid man. He spends all his salary in bars and in local breweries. The guy has a stable job with steady income but the kid who celebrated his 6th birthday is yet to he enrolled in school. The wife is the one who gives me the news flash about the village . Do not list me too as a gossiper. I only ask probing questions and I get fully informed answers in return. She also does my hair so to avoid heavy charges I have to listen to her and to make the story juicy I have to add one or things to spice it up a bit. Here comes the herbalist. The neighbour to the extreme left. She can cure almost all diseases, I can vouch for her even when someone wakes me up at midnight. The only problem is that she never gets satisfied with payment. She will keep on asking you to buy her things each time she spots you and refers back to the time when you joints where aching or had this disease that kept on recurring and modern medicine could not sufficiently cure and she was there for you. So annoying.