I don't like being told what to do.
Bradley had told me the truth, but I didn't listen, just because I didn't like hearing the truth. As bitter as his words were, it was also the truth. Shame washes over me like a wave and I keep asking the goddess for forgiveness.
I had marked my mate last night. You can see the mark on her neck. It's scarry, what I have done, and despite the shame and guilt I felt for my actions, there was also this feeling of happiness knowing that I have a claim on her.
She was upset when she found out, and Lyles was forced to cheer her up.
Nothing was hidden under the sun anymore. She knows everything, knows us for who we truly her, hates us and it is all my fault.
But that isn't the reigning news in rumour mill. Rumour has it that Alpha Davidson had scragged his mate just to be with me. They said she was tortured before death, but I don't believe. That is why I am dressing up to confirm the truth myself.
A knock is heard on the door. I zip up before saying, "Yes, come in".
It's Lyles. 'You shouldn't be with Davidson now that he is not stable. I saw her body myself".
"I have known Davidson for years now and I know he is stable enough not to hurt me. You? Not so much."
"Crinka, I am serious. What you really should be doing right now is explaining to the pack that mark on her neck".
"I marked my mate. Is that a problem? What is wrong with you Lyles? What is wrong with everybody? I can fuck their opinions but you Lyles? Don't you want to see me happy?"
"I want you to be happy Crinka, but not in this manner".
'Then in what manner Lyles? In what manner? How is marking my mate a crime? I have tried my best for the pack yet nobody, not even a single soul, wants to try their best for me? Why? Where did I go wrong Lyles? Where?"
"Marking her. You shouldn't have marked her Crinka. The female wanted nothing to do with you yet you forcefully claimed her as yours. Look, I am done cleaning your sorry arse. the sooner you start owning up to your responsibilities the better for you. Have a nice day. Goodbye."
I want to cry. I didn't sign up for any of this. Why did the goddess punish me with a female? I only wanted a male who would love me as much as I would love him, but instead of a loving male, I get a female who wants nothing to do with me. Maybe mates are not for me. This is my fate, and I will accept it, no matter the pain it is putting me through.
#
Davidson pack is quiet when I arrive and I figure they are mourning their Luna's death. If what I am hearing is true, then David would be forced to step down and let someone else take over.
The pack house is large, hosting about five hundred wolves. Davidon was doing a great job taking care of these wolves.
I pass by a group of old women on my way to David's chambers. One stopped me. A human female. She was weeping while the rest were wailing.
"She was pregnant my lady, She was pregnant".
It was a shame really, but what has happened has happened, nothing can change it. I felt sorry for the deceased, but more sorry for Davidson. Losing a mate would change everything for him. I offer no words of comfort to the crying woman, before leaving for his chambers.
"You shouldn't be here".
"That's a little too late isn't it?"
Her body is in a corner of the room. Her neck is in an awkward angle. Her intestines are put on display. Placenta is the only thing connecting her and her baby. The unbilical cord is broken in two.
I gasp. "David, what have you done/"
"The right thing?"
'How can killing be the right thing? The right thing would have been to sort out your differences not kill her".
"The baby is not even mine". He says coolly.
"Still. You shouldn't have done this David. You could have at least waited for the baby to be born to confirm the paternity".
"She burnt my mark Cersei. She doesn't even want anything to do with me. Any man would have done to her what I did."
"Any man? Can you hear yourself David? Only monsters do something like this. This is wrong."
"I did nothing wrong my love. I only wanted us to be together".
"I have a mate David, I can't be with you".
I am crying now. David encases me in his bloody arms and tries to wipe my tears. I stop him.
"Leave him and be with me. We can leavve from here, just the two of us".
He doesn't understand the gravity of what he has just done, or maybe he doesn't want to. Eitherways, this was the aftereffect of his mate's death on him. Loss of sanity.
"David, why can't you understand? You just killed your mate. You are a murderer David, I can't run away with a murderer."
He releases me.
"Don't you love me anymore Cersei? I never touched her for once Cersei. The only thing we shared was a slippery kiss. That was all I swear".
Only David would think a kiss is slippery.
"I love you David. I still do but...".
"Then we don't have a problem".
I wish he would just understand. Why is he refusing to? Why?"
'We don't exist anymore David. We died the day she died. Goodbye David. Take care of yourself".
I shouldn't have left him alone, but I can't let my feelings for the bastard override my decisions. My best friend is gone and I know he is never coming back.
#
It has been three weeks since David stepped down forcefully and six weeks since I have held the Icelander hostage. Each day doesn't pass where Lyles is pestering me to let him go.
So I decided to visit the devil himself.
I don't like what I find when I am in his cell.
An unchained and naked Icelander is massaging Sarai's breasts. She releases a breathy moan and I start to cry.
'How could you?" I remove my shoe and throw it at her. She ducks and steps away from him.
"For your information, I have no interest in you. In the past two weeks I have been here, your men didn't hesitate to please me. Your prisoner has just been a bonus".
I cry harder, taking off the other shoe, but it hits the Icelander instead. He doesn't flinch. I lunge. Sarai ducks out of the way.
I start hitting him. Blows after blows, kicks after kicks. He is bleeding and so am I.
"Crinka stop!".
I am in my own world, so I don't stop. Lyles holds my arms and I scream, "Let me go. Let go of me!".
I am held down by Lukas and Leo is driving Sarai out of the cell. They don't ask questions. Questions don't need to be asked.
Lyles descends on the goddamned Icelander and I end up being the one begging him to stop.
"Lyles, stop!".
Lyles doesn't listen to me, giving more damage to the Icelander than I had done.
What Lyles doesn't know is, each time he hurts this rogue, he is hurting me in return.
My body aches all over and I am being released. I clutch my chest in pain. I shouldn't be hurting, but having his scent on me, within me, made his pain my pain and his blows my blows.
"Lyles," My voice is a broken whisper. "Please stop".
He stops. Everybody is breathing hard but his are laboured. His wounds have reopened and he is bleeding like there is no tomorrow.
"Are you okay?", Lyles asks me, but I don't answer him. My gaze is on the Icelander.
"Fuck shit. I didn't even know she was your mate".
"How did he end up unchained?" I ask Leo, before the bastard starts laughing.
"So what's it like Alpha? To have a female as your mate?"
He is mocking me. He is so mocking me.
"Leave us". My voice is demanding.
"Crinka, you can't be serious. This guy is mentally unstable" Leo and Lukas have left but an unwilling Lyles still stands. "Lyles, I will handle this okay? Just go".
"If you need me, Scream".
"She won't be needing you bastard", Lyles snarls before leaving. I stand up.
"You knew she was my mate didn't you?"
"If I did, it doesn't matter. I have something you don't have and can never have".
"What is that?"
"A dick". To prove his point, he presses his front against my back. His dick pokes me in the back.
"By the way, the name is Sia".