learning to leave before saying I do

For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.

The bible verse says a man shall leave ...afterwards cleave

That means one step lead to the other.

Let's quickly look at the word leave

What does 'leaving' mean?

Leaving does not mean you permanently withdraw and no longer have a good relationship with your parent. That's isolating yourself, not leaving. Genesis 2:24

"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall join to his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

It means you must make a break from them and sever your dependence on them.It means "to forsake dependence upon," "leave behind," "release," and "let go. The implication of not leaving before saying I do

👉The situation will rob the man of his family leadership potential especially when he kept looking up to his parents to bail him out after poor choices.

👉 Such a man won't be able to grow up, face his responsibility to make correct choices for his life and future family.

👉 His self-respect as a man will be lost and this will definitely undermine his proposed spouse respect for him as well.

You may have moved out from your childhood home, but have you really left your parents behind? How then should we leave?

We have to forsake our dependence upon our parent. If we do not leave our parents correctly, it will hinder the future mutual bonding that must occur between you and your spouse.

Leaving is not a one time event that is limited to the man. It's a life long journey that involves a deliberate effort from any man and lady who want a thriving marriage. Both gender must be prepared to leave their parents physically, relationally, emotionally, financially, spiritually and if necessary geographically

Leave Physically

Two or more families living under one roof has its challenges. Your Parent's house should not be a referendum for settlement if you are on your way to say I do. Nowadays lots of adult children move back in with their parents even with their wife and kids a situation which ought not to be. Having your own apartment is a tangible expression of Leaving and cleaving.

Leave relationally. 

As much as I don't encourage distancing your self from families but their should be limitation to what you will accept or allow in your home. You shouldn't want to make a decision that will affect your home and you take it down to families first for consultation. Marriage requires new priorities. Your number one after God in life should be your spouse.

Leave spiritually. 

Being raised in a Christian home and going to church your whole life does not make you a Christian. Faith in Christ alone leads to salvation. Your family heritage does not bring you into a right relationship with God. Personal faith in Jesus saves you. Make that personal decision to live for Christ.

Leave financially. 

You must be able to take proper care of yourself before thinking of marriage. One of the greatest mistakes young people make is wanting to have in short years what their parents spent more years accumulating. Live within your means. Work hard, give graciously, save diligently and then spend happily.

Leave Emotionally.

There shouldn't be the need to call or text your parents or families every day to debrief all the happenings in life. As much as you may need parental or godly counsel as it pertains to some issues of life but your totality shouldn't be dependent on them. I remember during my Uni- days, a particular brother approach a sister for her hand in marriage, my beloved sister response was let me first ask my daddy if I should accept. This single act Chase the brother off because the brother is seeing a daddy girl here. Am not disproving parental consent. If she's not someone who is emotionally attached to her dad, she ought to have asked for few time to respond. Though what will be will be if God is involved but there is a place of emotional maturity to attain some height otherwise we might be the road block to our own blessing.Some ladies or guys are battle ready for the person they will marry whom have not offended them in anyway because of their personal or perceived experiences. There is a call to calm down and allow the Holy Spirit to take the wheel of your emotions and give health to your soul.A healthy relationship is an investment. What you put in is what you will get. You can't sow a thorn and expect to harvest Apple. God won't direct your path in terms of choice of a partner and take responsibility for what you need to do to thrive and have a happy home.A healthy and a joyous home is 20% correct choice and 80% application of marriage principles. Do you desire to have a heaven on earth marriage? You have a role to play.