The first time I killed, I was just scared, that was all. I didn't even know what I was going to do. I was scared and I didn't know what to do, so I just waited until we were on the street, and I was scared. I thought I might get hurt, I thought that maybe I'd be put in jail, I didn't know what would happen, but I was more afraid of getting hurt than I was of dying. I guess that makes sense.
I was scared, of course. I was really scared, but I wasn't scared enough to think about getting hurt. But that was just an incident, you know, it's the first one I did. But after that I was getting pretty good. We would look for someone, and I would say, "That's him," and we would follow him, and then I would take him home and follow him in and kill him. I was pretty good after that.
We would wait for them to do it. We would sit in a restaurant, and wait for them to be in the place, and then I'd talk to them. I told them what I wanted, I told them that if they would do it, I would give them three hundred dollars. I gave them three hundred dollars for three people, and they would get two hundred and fifty each, and that's how it worked.
I had the pictures of the people in the neighborhood, and I would tell them the place, and the time, and I'd say that they had to come alone, no bodyguards, no one with them, no police. I'd tell them if they brought one friend they'd have to split it five ways, because there was no way they could split it with just one person. So they always brought a friend. They had to bring a friend.
I'd let them know what we were after. I'd say, "The person you're after is looking to kill somebody. He's going to do it today. He's been sitting on the idea for a long time. He's going to kill somebody, and he's not going to leave the neighborhood, and he's not going to go anywhere. So here's where you come." I would tell them where I was going to be waiting for them, and I'd tell them to get there at a certain time.
They never knew when I was going to say, "That's him," and they never knew if it was going to be right. If I saw someone I liked, I'd let them know. If I saw someone I didn't like, I'd let them know that, too. I couldn't just pick somebody out of a crowd and say, "He's one of them," I had to do it through a personal connection. I had to wait for someone I knew, or I had to wait for someone I wanted to kill.
I had to have a reason, I had to have an interest, if I saw somebody I wanted to kill. I wanted to kill him because he was going to kill me, or someone I liked, or someone that I didn't like. That was the only way I could justify what I was doing. I had to have a reason. I wanted to go through what I did, I wanted to make sure I could do it, I wanted to see how I would feel, I wanted to know that I was strong enough to do it. I wanted to know that I could go out and do it on my own.
The first time I killed a boy I liked. I really liked him. I didn't want to kill him, it was because he was going to kill someone. He was going to kill a girl, and he just told me about it, and he knew about me and my girlfriend, and he wanted to get her back, and I wouldn't let him. So, when he was in, he said, "I'm going to kill someone." I let him tell me about it, and I said, "Listen, I know what you want to do, you know I'm going to stop you. You're not going to do it, you know I'm going to stop you."
He said, "I'm going to kill a girl, and I know she won't say anything. I'm going to kill a girl, and then I'm going to be the only one who knows about it. If you stop me, I'm going to kill you, you know that." I knew he was right. I knew that I wouldn't have a chance, but I just didn't want him to kill the girl. I just wanted to make sure that he didn't kill the girl.