Chapter 03 | Amnesia
Leanor
LEONOR, that's the name I gave when the doctor asked me after I opened my eyes. I remember my father loves to call me that way too. And it became my favorite too as I grew old up until now.
The doctor shined a small light through my eyes and checked my reflexes. I immediately responded to the tests done on me, except for one of my legs that I couldn't move. I want to ask, but I don't know anyone around me. They're all strangers to me, even where I am right now.
"Through therapies, she can walk again, but in the meantime, the patient needs to be in a wheelchair." The doctor announced that my world crumbled instantly.
Did I hear it correctly? I had to stay in a wheelchair while undergoing therapy. That can't happen. I am a ballerina dancer! My real world revolves in dancing in ballerina shoes, and I dream of being a prima ballerina someday. I was born to perform on stage, and impress the audience in front of me.
How will I go dancing if I'm in a wheelchair?
They said all that to the tall man beside the bed where I was lying. I can't remember who he is, and I have no idea where I am now. That man was left with me after the doctor, and the nurses exited the room. I saw that he pulled the chair, carefully brought it closer to the bed where I was lying, and then occupied it.
"Leonor..." he said in his masculine voice. He is just my age, in my estimation, or a few years older than me. I am swooned by his two-colored almond-shaped eyes. His high bridge nose and neatly brushed up hair captivated my eyes too. "Who are you?" he asked me.
I shook my head and held my head when I felt a sudden pain. I don't remember anything except my parents and siblings. Where are they?
I looked around the room.
I'm living with my sister and our parents in a simple home. We are the only ones together, and I study in a dance school while my sister is in art school. We can do everything we want like an average person.
My head hurt more, causing me to scream. That alarmed the guy beside me, and he immediately pressed the button above my bed. Nurses came in and immediately calmed me down. Someone injected something in my veins that made my eyesight blur, and I felt slight dizziness before everything turned pitch black.
That medicine brought me into a dark place where I kept crawling in a long dark alley. As I continued to crawl, it seemed to tighten, causing my heart to throb with great fear. What's going on? I was with many people I didn't know a while ago, and now I'm alone.
I hugged myself and crawled continuously until I reached the end of the alley, and blinding light welcomed me. I tried to cover my eyes, but it wasn't enough to protect me from a blinding and blazing light that almost erased me.
Yes, as if something was erased in my mind by the light. Something that I cannot remember even if I tried my best.
And the only question that lingers in my head is, who am I exactly?
WHEN I woke up, it was already dark outside. I felt my stomach grumbling, and it was asking for food. I slowly got up and looked around. I saw on the couch the man with two colored eyes sleeping. I need to wake him up, but how am I going the bed when I cannot feel my other leg? I hate that I cannot feel my other leg; I remember what they said a while ago.
I needed to undergo therapies to be able to walk again. I know it will start when I get out of the hospital, but I don't know when. Only that man in the room with me could answer that only question in my head, but I didn't know him.
He doesn't even know me.
He wouldn't ask who I was if he knew me first.
I put that out of my mind for a while and tried to reach for the apple on the side of my bed. Even though I feel pain, I still go ahead. In that position, I was caught by the man with two colored eyes. Our eyes met for a moment before they shifted to the fruit I was reaching for.
"You need to eat real food." The man said as he stood up from the couch. I adjusted my seat and watched him move around the room. I saw a bowl that he took out from a bag. He placed it on the tray before approaching me. "Here. My mother brought this an hour ago. She put it inside a heat-concealing bag. That's why it's still warm."
I touched it and felt the heat coming from the bowl. I like the warm feeling of it. It indicates that one of my legs has problems, not my whole body. I got even hungrier when I smelled the food but hesitated to taste it.
"It has no poison. I have no bad intentions towards you even though I don't know you," he said. That served as my signal to eat. I'm famished, and I don't know why. "Slow down. Your might stomach hurts due to indigestion." He reminded me upon witnessing that I had almost finished the bowl in one sitting.
"How long was I sleeping?" I asked him even though I wasn't sure if he was my companion.
"Almost two months,"
I stopped suddenly and looked at him. I looked into his eyes to see if what he was saying was true. The eyes are the mirror of our emotions. That's also where I can see if people lie, which I know I always do. I feel I've been like this as if someone betrayed me to death.
"M-my family..."
"We cannot find them yet. We are waiting for you to wake up to tell us everything about your identity." I nodded at what he said. "Do you remember anything before you met an accident?"
"I remember coming out of school after my academic class..."
"What's the name of the school?" I frowned. I can't remember the name of the school I was referring to as long as that was the last thing I remembered. "It's okay. Continue eating."
"Why don't I remember anything after I left school?"
"Leonor," I looked at him when he called my name. "Don't rush to remember everything." I took a deep breath and looked carefully at the food in front of me.
The question about how I can't remember anything from what happened still bothers me the most. Do I have amnesia? Is it permanent, or will it slowly kill me inside?
I don't know how I will answer this.
I just don't know how.
RETROGRADE AMNESIA.
That's the type of amnesia I have. I lose my existing and previously made memories. This kind of amnesia also affects my old memories, such as childhood memories, but slowly. Besides being stuck in my wheelchair, I also have amnesia. I think this is the worst I've ever suffered in my entire life.
Much worse than not being chosen as the leader of a ballerina show. That's the other thing I remember, but what followed is a blur. After the doctor gave me that diagnosis, he signed my release form from the hospital. She forwarded my information, which I think is forged by Finley.
Finley. That's the name of the two-colored eyes man who has remained on my side since I woke up. That's all I know, but he will take me home to their house even though he doesn't know me. As per him, they cannot find my family yet. They need my help, but I can't because everything is vague.
When I glanced outside the vehicle, the green pasture land filled with sheep and goats, I also saw buffaloes and horses, mostly sheep. The place was surrounded by green scenery that made the air fresh when I opened the window to feel it. I closed my eyes and felt the wind hit my face and dance in my hair.
That calms my nerves a bit.
"What will happen to me here?" I asked after remembering my current state. I just asked that in my mind, but I managed to put it into words.
"I don't know. You seem trustworthy. That's why I'm bringing you home now."
"Will you help me to recover?"
"Depends on whether I can trust you or not."
I kept quiet.
It's okay because we don't know each other. It's only natural that they should be wary of me. They're admitting a stranger with no memories of what happened to me. I have but limited, and if I force myself, it will cause me a severe headache.
"I badly want to remember everything now,"
"Don't force yourself, Leonor. You'll get there, so slow down a bit. You just came out, so you can't force yourself. Let's do what the doctor told you to do."
I nodded in agreement with him, then turned my gaze outside again. It's beautiful here, but I don't know what awaits me in this place; if I can bring back my lost memory or not. Questions that are difficult for me to answer. It's also a mystery why I ended up in an accident when all I remember was leaving school.
What exactly happened to me?