keana POV:
Kisha join our small restaurant business two years ago after college, so I got from her résumé. She became a friend and work family later; after a while working with us with an irritating persona. I wonder why we still keep her around. Maybe our benevolence out does our Justice. This is specifically in reference to myself. lols! In all sincerity, she is industrious and I don't know why? but as annoying as she is; I like having her around.
Take not to heart what I said earlier about Kisha not being family or friend. I mean, you know how you would want to deny a familiar face simply because they were bugs? right! It was one of those moments better said? situations. She was a diligent worker initially, who capitalized on my use of work to shield my pain of not finding a man that loves me from consuming me. In another sense, I spoilt her.
As for my issue with men? I render into the able hands of Providence. Not that the men never came! As a matter of clarification? they poured in, in multiple numbers then struggled in contest for conquest just to vanish into thin air like evaporating vapor. I was a formidable magnetic field pulling them in but they never hang around for long. Seems my pull was stronger than my hold.
Initially, she'd battle me for the chores because, basically we were supposed to take turns or complete duties alongside each other around the setup. Truth be told, I didn't necessarily have to lift a finger. We had enough hands on board in the form of employees. A spectator in supervision was specifically to be the orient I held on the job.
However, I would be like .. 'oh! let me take that for you! , Allow me handle that for you!, Piece of cake! I will do it. , It is nothing, leave it to me! , Come on! don't worry .. I'm very capable. , I've got this. Take a breather.' Were my self inflicted load take over lines in fake cherry. I never wanted to sit idly when I had faced yet another desertification! for the overflow of pained emotions running through me actively will make me cry mechanically, which portrayed weakness for me! that which I wasn't and never will be.
So I opted for the busy body spot voluntary. When one beat down came, followed by another and another until she got the hang of it; then never bothered to struggle with me for responsibilities.
In fact, she said 'it was therapeutic to occupy oneself with something during an emotional breakdown' with which I totally agree. As a means to expel the sour emotions and that it expedited the healing process'... now that? I am not sure of.
'And I couldn't have made an excellent choice of what to busy myself with than work!' the nickel of a brazen girl! So saith! the self-imposed precocious sham of a psychiatrist.
Just at one time! A singular instance, when I required her assistance to carry out some duties which I couldn't execute efficiently due to the influx of bitter emotions within my system. It was over whelming! I was not able to control it at that moment and also didn't want to break down. The lumber of restraints I was pulling on within me? drained me of all my energy making me weak after yet what seemed to be going on well only for a first date to be the last. Just the gentle unwarranted recollection in flashes of how everything panned out Broke me piece a piece.
She became aware of my disappointment timelines because that was when I buried myself under loads of work.
I am not the kind to cry out loud in disturbance or for notice. However, wail within childishly was definitely me! I'd clean surfaces a thousand times, mob the floor till it reflected ones reflection back without a spec, wash the dishes squeaky clean, drinking glasses not forgetting the cutlery set over and over just to be preoccupied. I took over the jobs of all the other employees including menial ones too! for as long as I needed to, to be ok! I only needed an escape from the agony each time I got disappointed but she became comfy with my situation-ships, fully capitalizing on my road bumps. I will always concur! I gave her great length of leverage over me unconsciously. And oh! did she take the bridle of the saddled horse handed her adeptly barefaced.
Many without the right information would believe my parents were overhauling me to death unjustly due to inheritance but that was not the case. I did all the work without being under any form of duress. It was for my own benefit to start with, should my hanging dangling condition be considered. It did bother them at first when the news reached their ears, not that it didn't anymore considering being the heiress of a multimillion empire.
My mum's persistence on my joining them in travel on any other business/pleasure trips they would embark to discourage me from the act serves as proof! but I made them understand; I was ok and not to take it hard. Besides, I am an adult with decision making responsibilities now; whom they couldn't force even if they had the urge to. Should they do? what will the employees under my authority think of me? 'A spoilt brat who always had an easy way out! possible by the hand of her wealthy parents.' Demeaning! No way! it would undermine my authority, respect and ability to trust I could come to meaningful choices pertaining my life! as a whole! which I know I am very capable of.
That notwithstanding, my parents don't have the antidote to my seemingly permanent unpleasant predicament with all their wealth. 'Sighs' Funny Ha!? Hard currencies at our beck and call yet it is vanity! Useless piece of paper trash! Irrelevant in relieving me of the woe! that betide me.
So they let it be with their support left in the open for me, should I ever need and wanted to reach out. Hesitation should be out of the question. I am grateful for being blessed with such a loving, understanding and adorable couple as my parents. Should they; be a choice for me after I rest in eternal bliss to return back to this planet again in another lifetime? I wouldn't think twice.
Come to think of kish? The she devil.... She did help somehow. I mean, she would flap away endlessly till no stop! 'blows out an exasperated air rolling her eyes in indifference.' Nit-picking topics and events both of interest as much as not! Never getting tired or done with one before jumping onto another in the likeness of a chronic demonic cheat! cuz a word or phrase from her current Convo line, reminded her of an incident she needed to tell. Her acute indulgence in other's business is nothing to be proud of yet she is indifferent about it. Smh! Worse! she would keep on skipping and skipping leaving you with incomplete information. She couldn't simply zip it! Neither finish the story she began. There is no denying I actually did enjoy her gists but was not pleased with her break aways. Which in a way also helped my cooling off procedure.
None the less, other times? I never appreciated her company. I would rather prefer silence than chaotic sounds, to sulk in the torment, wallow in the agony, letting it drown me completely until I found the courage to pull out! reform my mind then bounce back to normalcy; invigorated me! Yet there she was! the maligning resident evil! always chattering away sometimes absent mindedly.
I sometimes wonder if she was a part of my curse sent to destroy my peaceful life on Earth. Seriously, because the guts of the nuisance, of the sham, of a living thing; is a force to reckon with! When she latches on your case? There is no where to hide. She is brutal at disintegrating you. Now that she is meandering her way to come onto me? Hehe! I can't even think far! It is better experienced first hand than be told.
Never the less, it never took too long for me to fall back into that pitch dark abyss, the same old deceptively attractive but disorienting trail pitifully like the devil's allures.
when you thought the next Man coming was your full stop, only to wake up to the troubling reality he was also just points of ellipsis. Irresistibility was my hallmarks! I was like a ripe fruit drawing in birds, inserts,you can name the rest; but they never stay. They only perk holes in my chest to take bits of the sweetness in my heart, flattering me with unneccessary compliments then leaving it open and scarred without an iota of empathy. Not wanting to make me whole. Always departing with a piece torn from me; with each invasion and retreat.
It is as though, I am bound under a curse! only to have a few seconds bliss of a supposed partner then they varnish into thin air without any communique. Imagine chatting on phone back and forth interactively without a brake for weeks. It's like you can't have enough of each other. Only to schedule a meet and greet , have a blast! while at it with both your personalities in a maximum sync! Absolute compatibility with regards to vibes making you sing Hallelujah! Inwardly accomplished! Thinking you are finally there! Just to simply fall off the top of that ladder after departing to meet again hopefully; instead you meet no more or hear nothing! No news flash! None what so ever!
They were as figures of my conjecture; No! they were phantoms! without a doubt ... ghosts! I was a notorious muse for one time date ghosts! 'Scoffs unbelievably at her own inner thoughts' I trusted them to be humans who could possibly be my life companions. Some window shoppers they were! Hey?
It only ever went as far as a kiss on the forehead. Yeah! Right? It is not as if I desperately wanted to be laid! No! That was easy to do, but Nah! Don't want any stranger's infectious hands all over me .... eeeww! Disgusting!
Oh! I know the generation I find myself in perfectly well! They would look at me like a nerd; cause it's all about 'getting with any Tom Dick and Harry' one meets. It takes not much to strip. Everything in this generation glorifies sex! The ads on the television screens ... on food choices, drinks, meds, clothes are all in one way or the other sexual enhancement or instigators. And boy! oh boy! Are individuals and industries making trillions out of it.
Note! I am not in condemnation of anything or anyone hey! it is their life also that era! so let it take it full course. It would eventually either get better or worse; then fade slowly making way for another.
To tell the truth, I love fashion and the fashion! The short revealing provocative designs are to die for! The Tech? wow! It is mind-blowing. you get to do so much more amazing stuff within a short period of time and in a small space. I love having fun with all its intricacies. The booze, the music, intoxicating substances except the pricks.
Of course! I am still untouched. Not yet deflowered. Still as pure as a blessed dove. I am supposed to be ashamed of this in this century but .... hell! am I so darn! proud of myself like a peacock with spread out tail feathers in colourful glory, enchanting beauty, magnificence and pride along with shoulders high. The self-restraint it takes to be wholesome in this ending 21st century is not on the low, I must admit. Who wouldn't wanna try all the exciting clamors and glamours out there including doing the devil's dance. Social Media makes it all so insanely simple with over-hyping fakery Whiles shrouding the extreme pressure being pumped on to the shoulders of the Young and upcoming. I guess, I am just a rare breed cause, the wave never affected me. Particularly, not in mindset as it did the majority out there. The goal outright! Mass hypnosis.
All am trying to say is; I love all the liveliness and open-mindedness that comes with this modernity! the contrast anyway,for me? is the nudity. But thank goodness eeii! For the right to choose which still exists but not without manipulation. If not? I wouldn't know how people like me! that's ... if there are others like me! in the first place ... would survive.
Thing is, I am of the oldies. I yearn for some deep level shit! An intense level of connection. Which I must confess, I had to some extent with some of the guys I met but well! It was not meant to be. As simple as that! poof! They go like puff of smoke! always after the first live face time.
Kish! the notorious inquisitive wench! simply turned a slip spot into a sleeping joint in my account. She took complete undue advantage of my predicament just as an unremorseful pedophile to an abhorring extent. If she were to be a man and it had to do with my chastity? She should be in jail by now. And now that she in claimed of my business in volition and the extreme to which she was putting in effort in trying to hook me up with a guy? Is suspicious. However it goes? I am done for! Just praying for leniency cause .....