Chapter 007: Useless beyond hope
Initially, Xia Yue Chu thinks that Madam Wu will only talk about this in private. Never has she imagined that she is yet to be done this conversation.
Across the table, before so many people, speaking so straightforwardly.
Xia Yue Chu's face turns white and she does not dare to look at Xue Zhuang at all.
Her right hand holds a death grip over the chopsticks and her left hand clamps tightly on the corner of her dress under the table. Cold sweat chase down her bony spine and triggers a stretch of long-lasting goosebumps.
Xue Liang Ping has been living in a dilemma over the past few days, firstly being overjoyed that his eldest son is back alive, secondly the reminder of him being bedridden makes him unbearably sorrowful.
With everything that is going on, he actually forgets that his son and his daughter-in-law have yet to consummate their marriage up till now.
"Right, right, well said Madam-in-law, now that Da Zhuang is back, you young couple has to live your days well, aim to let me carry a chubby grandson next year!"
Xue Liang Ping becomes more and more agitated as he is saying, and the corners of his lips show a smile of gratification, as if he can already foresee his grandson circling around his knees in his good old later years.
He tips his head back and devours his bowl of wine in one shot. He does not need any egging on, pouring for himself bowls after bowls.
Soon enough, as the effect of alcohol clouds him, his cheerful smile transitions into a bitter smile.
"Son, only, only when your days are better, when you have your own lineage, then I, I can face your mother when I go down* to meet her…"
Xue Liang Ping grabs Xue Zhuang's hands sobbing "All these years, I didn't say in words, but has missed you in my heart, don't know if all is well with you in the army, don't even know where your location is… I can only imagine wildly, when its raining outside, wonder if you have umbrella, when its snowing outside, worry if your clothes and shoes are warm… so many years, I didn't dare to believe you will come back… a grand fortune, you are back, if not in father's heart, there will be a lifetime's regret…"
At this point, Xue Zhuang expression is twisted in agony, his head hangs down and not making any sound for a period. But there is the addition of tears on the surface of the table in front of him.
Xue Liang Ping hiccups and anxiety overwhelms him, he stumbles to speak but dares not ask out the growing suspicion in his heart.
"Father, I, I am afraid that I am not able to continue the lineage of the Xue Family…" Xue Zhuang squeezed out his voice from the depths of his throat.
"What?"
The bowl in Xue Liang Ping's hand shatters as it drops to the floor, in breaks into big and small pieces, dampening the liqueur on himself.
"Father, your son is unfilial**."
"Son, you, you are saying…"
Xue Liang Ping's hands are trembling as he reaches out to Xue Zhuang, grasping onto his shoulders, he stammers, unable to say out his last few words.
As if not mentioning it, everything will be able to return to its original state where all will be alright.
Xue Zhuang cast his face aside, suppressing the sobs in his voice, "Your son, your son is useless for this duty…"
Xue Liang Ping's face turns ash white, as if his soul has escaped his entire being, unable to react.
Madam Wu has also not expected the situation to be like this, turning to her white faced daughter, quickly keeping her own emotions under control and facilitates to defuse the tension. "Aiya, blame this on me, saying unnecessary things. You both are still young, there is no need to rush, perhaps after eating some medication you will be well again!"
"Right, right! Get some medicine, eat medicine!" Xue Liang Ping jumps up with all his strength from the stool which he is sitting on, repeating "I will go to the city tomorrow and find a doctor for you, you should see one when you are sick, how else will you get better…"
When Xia Yue Chu hears this, she is honestly relieved. Releasing the clammy chopsticks, and secretly rubs off the cold sweat on her palms along the corners of her clothes. As she lifts her head up, she notices that Xue Zhuang is looking her direction.
Making eye contact with his dark clear orbs sparks off a sense of guilt in Xia Yue Chu, which makes her shift her line of sight away hastily.
"Yue Chu." Xia Hong Qing calls out in a stern and serious demeanor. "Like what I said before you married here, as we first promised you to Da Zhuang, so this lifetime of yours belongs to him, if you live you are his person, if you die you are his ghost. Now him coming back is already a grand fortune bestowed, we should not hold extravagant demands on other aspects. You must know your place and serve the family, be a decent human being, if not I will be the first in line to come after you!"
Xia Yue Chu cannot understand or agree with Xia Hong Qing's logic, but she knows that it is not imperative to go into a debate, only nodding her head silently.
Xue Liang Ping is filled with gratification upon hearing that, he raises a bowl of wine and salutes to Xia Hong Qing. "In-law, having your words is so assuring!"
The people around the table are each having different thoughts and the meal proceeded with a heavy atmosphere.
.
Half of that jar of wine goes into Xue Liang Ping's stomach, before the guests finish eating, he is already drunk without conscious.
Xia Yue Chu walks the old couple out. Luck is on their side, just not far from exiting the village entrance, they come across an empty horse carriage heading towards the city and negotiates for three copper coins to send two people on the way down the mountain.
Prior to getting on the carriage, Madam Wu tugs on Xia Yue Chu and presses a heavy pouch into her hands. Instructing her in a whisper "Mother does not have much, but you take this. Buy some meat buy some eggs, you and Da Zhuang need to eat better to replenish your energy together."
"Mother, no need, I will earn some by myself later!" Xia Yue Chu remembers that the Xia family is not wealthy, the snacks and the feast for coming over today must have been a huge expense to them, how can she take anymore from her private savings.
"You can earn in jokes, just take this!" Madam Wu stuffs the purse to Xia Yue Chu in one swoop, "That's enough, the weather is cold, go home quickly!"
Returning home, Xue Liang Ping has been crutched back to his room and she can hear Madam Sheng scolding in her boisterous voice from the yard.
Retuning to her room, Xia Yue Chu opens the pouch and counts carefully, a total of one hundred copper coins. She keeps it in her trunk, under the few pieces of her coarse garments.
.
After keeping the pouch, she starts her mental planning. Besides cooking, she does not have any other talents. In this mountainous village far from civilization, where is the opportunity to shine?
If there are any chances, it will be great to go and look around the city.
She recalls Xue Liang Ping mentioning that he is going to find a doctor in the city but rejects the idea almost immediately.
Even in the usual days where she is just going about by herself, Madam Sheng can come up with so much nasty things to accuse. If she travels alone together with Xue Liang Ping, she will definitely torment to no end.
Her plans have yet to take half of the form, but her stomach has started twisting in pain.
Xia Yue Chu has also not imagined that this body is so used to eating husks and root vegetables, so used to these poor conditions, that she cannot digest the sudden feast of fish and meat, running to the toilet over four or five times throughout the afternoon.
Even till the night, her stomach is still in discomfort. It is freezing cold outside and she has to run out trip after trip.
The sky is completely dark, and there is no one on the streets anymore. Even the street dogs and the street cats have probably fallen asleep, only the sound of the chilling wind outside can be heard.
Xia Yue Chu shivers as she ties up the string of her pants, opens the toilet's door and walks back, when she is passing by the vegetable plot in the back yard, she is grasped by someone from the back.
Wuu---
Before she lets out her scream, a big crass hand muffles it silent.
"Yo, Sister-in-law, still running around in the middle of the night." She can hear the voice close to her ear, it is actually the second son Xue Li's voice.
The stink of alcohol wheezes onto her face, choking Xia Yue Chu to the point where she cannot breathe.
"Big Brother may be back, but hears that he is impotent, you abided for so many years, waiting for this one who comes back useless, why not this younger brother helps out his elder brother to ploughing the ground, sowing the seeds…"
Xue Li's right hand covers Xia Yue Chu's mouth unflinchingly, his left hand releases his grasp on her and moves to the strings on her pants.
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Translator Notes:
*The Chinese has a common belief that after they die, their spirit will go down under to the Chinese Hades (King Yan, the ruler of the dead) and tabulates everything they have done while they were alive and wait for their turn to reincarnate. In this context, the dead can meet with the dead in hell.
**In the Chinese culture, there is an old saying from Mencius (Meng Zi, a Chinese Confucian philosopher), that there are three behaviours that equates to being unfilial and the biggest one of them all is not having children. This teaching is deeply ingrained in their culture, and it is also why they will value sons more than daughters because sons have the duty to carry on the family name and the lineage. In this story, it is apparent in how Madam Sheng wishes for a grandson and neglects her granddaughters. This is also still a daunting reality in certain parts of China even now.
Translated by Yellow. Aug 2022.