Darkness.
That's what's always characterized my life.
The pure fact that no matter what you do, where you go or what you sacrifice, in the eyes of those with power, you will never amount to anything.
I worked hard, so damn hard I felt like I was literally emptying myself into the world. Shed tears and sweat in an effort to create a name for myself.
My name is Casper Rollan. Or should I say, was? The man I worked for for so many years, shot me in the head after I had succeeded in what we were pioneering for years.
How am I still able to form a concious thought after that? I'm not sure.
The darkness that had encompassed me my whole life had become a literal term after I was shot. I can't say I'm familiar with the concept of dying, since it's my first time, but I'm sure concious thought forming is not a part of the process.
Life is basically energy given conciousness, and dying is simply the conciousness being separate from the energy. So, the energy should shift into some other organic form while the conciousness should just evaporate into nothingness it ince originated from...
At least, that was my theory.
It would seem I was wrong about that. I don't know whether to be glad about that or not. I also don't know how long I've been in this suspended state of zero visibility and mobility. Have I been at this for a few seconds, minutes , hours or even days. The concept of time is lost when you can't feel anything. How long has it been since I was shot? Or was this the period between which my soul, as they say, goes to the great beyond, either between hell of Heaven.
Gotta admit, never really paid much attention to religious stuff. Had dreams to accomplish, never really cared about other things.
But, maybe some of those beliefs were real? Maybe that was where I was? Could it be, that due to the life I lived, I am in this suspended state of total inaction as a punishment? After all, I always did have something to do back when I was alive , so maybe this is my purgatory...
Well, it doesn't feel like hell. Don't know how to explain this in a state that I can't feel anything, I still have.... expectations? Is expectation an emotion?
I think, after all the hard work I've done in the past, this shouldn't be the way I go out... right? Betrayed by someone I trusted? Was it? I mean, I surely deserve more than, this.
Don't I?
Wait...
What's going on?
All of a sudden, nothing seems right. Can't explain it, but I can tell, whatever was going on, it wasn't going on anymore. As if there is a sudden shift in reality, like up is down and down is up, but to a blind man's point of view. He can't see it, but can feel something was definitely wrong.
Cold. Biting cold is the first thing I can tell I'm experiencing.
And then, I can't breath.
I couldn't before, since I couldn't feel or do anything, but suddenly, I'm shivering and suffocating, trying to breath in, which is something a conciousness without an energy to power shouldn't be experiencing.
Then comes the pain, a sharp sudden sting that rattles me to my very core. The shock causes me to suddenly open up, somehow, and all the air that I am struggling to pull in comes rushing, filling me up and I cry out in relief.
But for some reason, The cry comes out loud and very shrill.
"Ah, there we go." a feminine warm voice suddenly says. I'm so surprised by the new voice that I cry out louder, my heart, something I was sure I didn't have a moment ago, beat hard in my also recently nonexistent chest.
"It's a boy" said another voice, also feminine and booming like the previous one. " Proceed to DNA analysis."
Before I can try to think of whatever I going on, an even sharper sting assaults me, this one hurting a lot more than the one before, causing me to cry out even louder.
"Readings?"
"His helix shows zero signs of the DM component. He's clean."
"Well, that's a relief. The Homo magi ratio to Homo sapiens is increasing at an uncomfortable rate. What did the statistics show again? 1:4, last time?"
"That was three years ago. It's 2:4 this year."
"Damn, before we know it, they'll be all over the place"
"They already are. Anyway, get the mother's body outta here, and place him with the rest after all standard procedures." the earliest voice said.
Hold on...
Did they say Homo magi ratio to Homo sapiens? Homo magi, as in the Homo magi that I invented? The Homo magi who's genetic code I came up with? Whose basic structure I engineered?
And just what the hell is going on? What is it with this biting cold and the sudden urge to eat or drink something?
Woah woah woah....I recognize their speech pattern. Hospital etiquette. Especially the maternity section of the hospital. Those voices, were they doctors or nurses, or both...and did one of them slap me to get me to cry out! Seriously?
But...
This doesn't make any sense! I'm dead. I was shot in the head, there was no other outcome from that. I was in my own afterlife purgatory. Whatever is currently happening right now goes against all the laws of chemistry , biology and even physics that I know of...and I know a lot considering I dedicated my life to studying the three sciences.
The concept of rebirth was not even supposed to be a concept to a biochemist and astrophysicist like me...
Yet...
My eyes open up, and I find myself in the arms of a very large yet normally average nurse. She's humming a tune I know, though can't remember the name , as she carries me to where whatever standard procedures done to a baby after they are born is done.
I blink.
Breath in, and blink again.
It's official.
I really have been reborn.