The wind rustled through the trees, branches smacking together like the sound of horse hooves stampeding through the cemetery. I didn't want to be here, mostly because it meant accepting the truth of the matter – my premonition about Elaine had been wrong. I couldn't figure it out no matter how many times that I went over it. I saw her death as clear as any other premonition, so why had it changed? I looked everywhere for Mahala and had come up empty, she had taken off from town and I wasn't sure how to find her, or even where she had come from.
I waited by the empty grave, eyeing the new stone that proclaimed Elaine's full name and her date of birth, followed by the words she taught us how to love underneath. My heart sank as I waited for the rest of the people to get here, I couldn't stand to see her laying in the coffin and had made sure I was at the back of the church throughout the entire funeral service. A part of me felt guilty for being so selfish, but it had broken my heart that Elaine was taken so soon and without my knowledge. The other part of me felt guilty because I could have easily been there to help her, and yet I hadn't been. Jane informed me that it looked like she had tripped from wearing high heels, that the crash outside of her house probably scared her and she simply lost her balance. It was an accident, Jane said, but she said it as though she needed to convince herself. She would later go on to cry and tell me how she felt responsible because she had gotten a call from the principal at the school of her daughter Anna, saying that apparently Anna had gotten into trouble by fighting another student. Meanwhile Anna had been in the library the entire time studying with some friends and had no idea what Jane was talking about, even the principal said it must have been a prank call. Jane expressed that by this point it was too late, she had left work and went straight to the school, but she wouldn't be able to get to her mother's recital in time. She felt responsible for not being there to help her mother, that maybe Elaine had been angry and wasn't thinking straight, that somehow she fell because of that. No matter how much I tried to reassure Jane, it didn't seem to stick.
I thought over how strange it was that someone would prank call Jane to say that her daughter had gotten into a fight, wondering why that was. What purpose did that serve, especially since her daughter had been doing nothing wrong? I pushed it from my mind as I saw John walk up from the van, his arm in a sling across his chest with his suit jacket hanging over his shoulder. He tried to force a smile but I could tell he was dealing with his own pain, sitting down beside me. I sighed as we looked over to the empty grave that would soon be filled.
"I'm sorry again about Elaine," John said, using his free hand to place over top of mine. "I'm going to miss her."
I nodded, holding back my tears. "She wasn't supposed to go this soon."
"I share your sentiments," He replied, clearly talking about Hadley by the way the hurt flashed over his face.
I shook my head, pulling in my lips against my teeth. "No, I mean it – she wasn't supposed to go this soon."
John was puzzled, raising an eyebrow. "I don't understand what you're trying to say."
I wanted to tell him everything and I was tired of having to make excuses for it all, if I wanted to be with John then he needed to know about my premonitions, otherwise I would have to lie to him for the rest of my life. That was something I could not do. "I need to talk to you about something, and I'm not sure you'll believe me when I tell you," I began to say, pulling my hand away from his. "And if you don't, then I'm not sure we can be together."
He nodded a few times as he leaned back in his chair, staring out over the cemetery. "Please tell me then," He said, trying to be reserved as he sat quietly.
I didn't know how to start, I never knew how to begin the conversation about my premonitions. Mostly because it had come back to hurt me due to people not believing me, and I had made a promise that if I didn't absolutely have to tell someone then I wouldn't, I would find other ways around it. But John was different, and I was telling the truth when I said I needed him to believe me otherwise we couldn't be in a relationship. I needed him to understand how much of a struggle having this gift was, to be able to have a partner I could go to so that we could talk about it so that I wouldn't feel so alone. I began to tell John about my childhood and how I was able to see things from a young age, my young mind could never quite comprehend it and it scared me more than anything. My dad thought I was having nightmares and even took me to a doctor who said it was probably night terrors, trying different medications to see if they would help. Nothing did, because medications can't help otherworldly powers. I described the first premonition I ever had, it was about an elderly clerk at the Metropolitan Bank in town – it started out perfectly normal, she was eating her breakfast and then she went to the sink to clean her dishes. But she began to feel a pain in her chest that made it difficult to breathe, and eventually she was choking for air. I could feel every sensation, every pain, I was experiencing it with her. Eventually she fell to the floor and died of cardiac arrest.
My young mind didn't know what had happened, especially since I had seen it with my own two eyes as if I was living her life and I had shared in her suffering. It scared me for so long that I even had trouble sleeping, which is what made doctors believe I was having night terrors. The medication helped me sleep, but it didn't take away from the premonitions that kept coming to me. Eventually I got used to them, but it still took a lot of time. I had to figure it out on my own, I had to understand death at an early age and come to terms with my own mortality, as well as everyone else around me. I tried talking to people about it when I was about eight years old, but people began calling me crazy and even wouldn't let their children play with me because they thought I was a bad example. I became very isolated as a child, almost losing my only friend Jannie because of my premonitions. Luckily Jannie believed me after seeing it with her own two eyes, and for that I will always be grateful, but I always felt like an outsider to everyone else. I suffered through my own depression, even to this day, because of how debilitating my premonitions were and the fact that it isolated me from so many of my peers. I decided to turn my life around and make it about giving back to the people who I knew were going to die, especially to help people get closure before death.
I wasn't a saint, I knew that much, but I had to believe that these powers were given to me for a reason. I didn't want to be ashamed of them, but I knew that telling just anyone about my premonitions wasn't an easy pill to swallow. But I told John everything, I explained it in great detail and told him how I had seen Elaine's death on the fourth of July – that somehow my premonition had been wrong despite the fact that it never had been before, unless I changed something. It dawned on me then that maybe that was what Mahala was trying to say the last time I saw her – I had changed the path of my premonition, which meant everything else had changed around me.
"So that's how you knew I was going to be at Lake Newberry?" John said, keeping his eyes down at his shoes. "Because you saw Hadley's death?"
I didn't want to say the words but I knew that I had to. "No, I didn't see Hadley's death," I paused, choking back the tears, "I saw yours."
He nodded, standing up from the chair beside me as he looked down at the empty grave. He took a moment to think before turning back to me, now looking me in the eyes. "I was going to die last week?"
"Yes," I said.
Again, he nodded. "Am I still going to?"
"Hadley died in your place."
"That's how it works – someone dies for you? So when you stopped Hadley, you were going to take my place?" John questioned.
I felt a tear escape, wiping it away before John could see. "Yes."
He was quiet as he thought, returning to his seat beside me but this time almost facing me directly. "But why, Ellion?"
I felt myself break, placing a hand over my mouth so that I could sob. John immediately put his arm around me, pulling me up to his chest as he kissed the top of my head, whispering that it was okay and that he wasn't angry with me. I nodded, I knew he wasn't angry – but I was angry that I couldn't change everything like I had wanted to. He pulled away so that he could get a better look at my face, thumbing away some tears underneath my eyes.
"I'm not sure I understand all of it yet, but if you tell me this is the truth, then I believe you," John said, trying to force a smile but there was so much pain in his face. "Because I want you to know that I love you, Ellion, and that you're not alone."
I leaned forward and kissed him with so much passion that I swore there was electricity between us, causing a crackle in the rift of time. I pulled away so that I could stare into his deep brown eyes. "I love you, too."
He kissed me again, solidifying our love once and for all. When he broke the kiss, concern washed over his face. "I only have one question," He began, placing his hand in mine. "If Hadley died for me, then who died for you?"
"I don't understand what you mean," I replied.
"Well, you said this woman Mahala said that it was a life for a life. So if my life was saved because Hadley's was taken, then whose life was taken for yours?" He asked.
Just as he said the words the world began to swirl around, pulling me from this world into a later time – a time when I saw my death. The premonition came so suddenly and with so much strength that when I broke free from it, I found myself panting for air. John looked at me curiously, trying to figure out what had happened. He asked me just that, but I couldn't form the words – still shocked by seeing my own demise. I heard the last thing Mahala had said to me:
Ask your mother.
THE END...