I didn't bother to stick around for the last hour of the fair, unable to stop myself from being upset over seeing Rechyl's death. She was going to die in only a few hours over a loss that wouldn't matter in a few months time. But I remembered how important events were when I was a teenager, and tried my best to understand that this loss clearly felt like the end of the world for Rechyl. If only she knew that it wouldn't have been, that she could have gone on to live longer had she put her emotions in their place. I could only hope that maybe she would remember me telling her to wear her seat-belt, but it felt too far-fetched to wish she would.
I gathered my things and headed through the crowd towards the parking lot, not taking the time to tell Jannie that I was leaving early. She knew something had upset me, and it didn't take a genius to know what had, especially given that Jannie understood how I acted after a premonition. I needed time to work through the emotions on my own, something that required a lot of time and space.
Before I knew it the tears were escaping down my cheeks, landing softly on my God awful Harrow Hall chicken tee-shirt. I tried to swipe them away, but they persisted. I bumped shoulders with someone, trying to cough out a quick apology while not maintaining eye contact. But I wasn't able to depart from the scene before the person gently grabbed my arm and stopped me from walking away.
"Ellion, are you okay?" Atheson asked, pulling me closer to him the way that he always had. He knew I was emotional, but he never knew why. I couldn't trust him enough to tell him about my premonitions, so I used other excuses to cover for my vulnerability.
I tried to nod through the tears and fake a smile, hoping that he would disappear from existence. The last thing I wanted was to be crying in front of him as I was trying to deal with the upcoming death of a beloved member of my community. But Atheson wasn't going anywhere, instead he brought his free hand up to tip my chin towards him, trying to get me to look him in the eyes.
"What's going on? You can talk to me about anything, you know that, don't you?" He said, trying his best to be comforting. Although I knew somewhere deep down inside of him that he meant well, he also sounded so patronizing. I could have said the same about him, that he could have told me months ago that he wanted to see other people instead of seeing someone else while he was still with me. But I wasn't going to stoop to his level, he wasn't the reason that I was upset.
"Everything is fine, Ath," I mumbled, trying to wipe away the tears in an attempt to save face. "I need to go."
But he wasn't letting go of me any time soon, instead he quickly wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into a tight embrace. I brought my arms up to push against his chest, trying to separate myself from the hug, but he wasn't allowing me to. Everything about this encounter felt wrong, and suddenly I realized why it was that he was acting this way. He thought I was upset about seeing him with his new girlfriend, of all things. As soon as I realized that, as he continued to forcefully stroke my hair, I shoved him away from me.
"It's okay, Ellie, I would feel the same way if I saw you with someone else," He reassured, but his tone said that he was taking far too much satisfaction out of the idea that I was upset about seeing him with someone else. "I'd probably try to fight the guy, to be honest."
I scoffed, shaking my head as I wiped away my tears. "You're really something else. Just when I think you can't get more full of yourself, you do something like this."
"You're allowed to be angry, baby ---" He stopped himself, cringing as he gritted his teeth, "---sorry, force of habit. But I get it, you're angry and you can be all you want. You have to know this is for the best, and that I will always love you. You'll always be my first love, but Hadley – well, she makes me happy in a different way. For awhile there I didn't think I was ever going to find someone else, but she came along and now things are different. I even considered becoming a permanent bachelor."
I threw my hands up in defense, feeling disgust fill my stomach. "Just stop, please. You're making an ass out of yourself."
He shook his head. "I've said all I can say."
That was his go-to line when he didn't want to talk anymore, that somehow him putting his foot down made it clear as day. He didn't care what I felt or even what I had to say, and he certainly didn't care that the reason I was upset had nothing to do with him whatsoever. No, because Atheson didn't function like normal people. He believed the world revolved around him, and that was one of the many reasons I was glad that he had broken up with me. I was so blinded for awhile by the idea that things were comfortable with him that I forgot how many red flags he constantly waved in our three year relationship.
I couldn't take talking to him anymore, immediately spinning around and walking in the direction of the parking lot. He called out after me, clearly not as finished with the conversation as he thought he was. Everything was a blur as I rushed to my van, hoping that I lost him in the crowd. I scavenged my pockets for my key, skidding to a stop at the door as I tried to get the key inside of the lock. My fingers fumbled, wiping my face on my upper arm before trying to unlock my vehicle again. I heard footsteps approaching, gritting my teeth as I spun around. Instead of it being Atheson, it was the crazy fortune teller woman from earlier. My eyes widened, pushing my back against the door.
"You don't get to choose the doors of fate," She muttered, clicking her fingernails together at her side. "What you see is not for you, but for the universe."
I balled my fists, wanting to scream out at the sky with frustration. "Listen lady, I don't know what you smoked before you walked onto the fairgrounds, but I don't give a flying ---"
"The winds sent me here with their breath, they wanted me to find you. They whisper about you changing the locks on the doors, but they want you to know that for every door you close, they will open a window," The woman said as she crept closer to me, bridging the gap between us. She pushed forward until she pinned me against my van, trying my best to get out of her grasp but she gently flicked one of her long fingernails against my neck. "If you stop one, I'll make it right."
I tried to push her away, but she persisted. "Are you threatening me?"
She leaned forward, her lips almost pressing against my earlobe as she whispered in her raspy voice, "Change will not be forgiven."