I shake my head and look away from him, but the first person I connect eyes with is Cain, who looks at me with intrigue. He probably saw what happened between us.
I let all the air out of me and luckily three waiters arrive at the table at that moment and start placing plates in front of us, drawing attention away from me.
First, they give us a fancy salad that I didn't like, then a weird soup that I didn't know what was in it and then the main course, chicken with spinach and mashed potatoes.
It looks delicious, so I wait for everyone to get their own plate to start eating, only I've barely picked up my fork when someone steps on my left foot, hard. I let out a small sound, but I manage to cover it with a fake cough.
"Be careful with your food, Bernabeu, we don't want you to die," Pinky says loudly and puts a hand on my back to pat me a couple of times, "Not before you dazzle us with your project."
I shake my shoulder dramatically until I get him to let go and though I want to stomp on his damn foot too and ruin his expensive shoes, I stop myself.
"Thanks, Tim," I say loudly, smiling toward the Lamberts and Pinky's mother, who is watching us as if we are extremely funny.
That woman gave birth to my worst nightmare, but I smile to her anyway. I pick up my fork again and start eating while I search my future for something I can use against Pinky.
A few seconds later, I find something and do it without a second thought.
I put my hand down trying to be discreet and then I direct my fingers towards the man next to me, who lets out a scream so fucking loud when I touch his ribs, that it is heard over the music and draws the attention of the tables around us.
"Timothy!" His mother exclaims, her mouth hanging open in disbelief and embarrassment. Pinky's face turns red as a fucking apple and I can't help the laughter that escapes me. I turn to Sam and she's laughing too, even Cain has to cover his mouth to hide his amusement, "Beau, please. Anyone would think you're a couple of kids."
"I'm so sorry, Ma'am," I apologize quickly and turn to Charlie Lambert, but he is eating calmly as if nothing happened, "It won't happen again."
I pick up my fork and knife and this time I actually start eating, ignoring Pinky's heavy gaze on me.
I avoid meeting Pinky's gaze for the rest of dinner, but when everyone finishes eating, the Lamberts and Mrs. Juliet get up from the table to continue socializing, leaving us alone.
"Why the fuck did you do that?" Pinky demands as soon as they leave, turning to me and slamming a fist on the table, "I'm sensitive to tickling."
"He is," Cain states in front of us, laughing freely now.
"I didn't know that," I laugh, shrugging, "And it wasn't tickling, I just touched you after you stepped on my foot without any kind of provocation."
"Without any kind of...?" he repeats out loud, looking for Sam's gaze behind me and then Cain's, "You've been provoking me since I met you! Right, guys?"
"A little bit," Sam mumbles next to me until I turn to look at her, "I'm sorry, Beau, but Pinky feels attacked by your stare."
Attacked? By my stare?" I repeat, snorting. Cain nods, trying to look serious, "What? Cain... I haven't attacked your friend at any time. It's not my fault he's weird."
"I told you he's homophobic!" Pinky exclaims, sounding accusatory and drawing my gaze to him, "Exactly, I know what you are."
"Of course not," I defend myself, looking directly into his big blue eyes.
Although... maybe? I'm not in general, but homophobia is the fear of homosexuality and right now I'm pretty scared of being one.
Very scared, if I'm honest.
I'm super homophobic, then.
"Let's clear this up now that it's out on the air," Sam says, putting on her work voice, "Beau, explain why you've been rude to Pinky."
Because I've seen him in my bed, next to me, kissing me, loving me... and I don't like it.
"Honestly, I don't think I've been homophobic or rude in any way," I defend myself, ignoring Pinky's snort, "But if he felt that way, it wasn't my intention. I'm sorry."
"Pinky, now tell us why you feel that way," Cain says, as if this is group therapy. I cover my eyes with my fingers for a few seconds.
I've had many friends before, but never an actual group of friends. I didn't know this kind of thing happened in them. I'm not sure if I like it or not.
"Because Beau made faces at me since before we were even introduced. When he sat across from me at the bar," he spits, looking straight at me. I try to look confused but I start to feel guilty because I know he's right. The moment I saw him, I was flooded with future memories that I couldn't ignore and maybe I was indeed making faces, "I'm not stupid, Cain. You know me. I know exactly when someone is disgusted to see me."
"With all due respect, Timothy, you don't know me. I have migraines," I defend myself, starting the lie with a truth, "I didn't even pay attention to you until Cain introduced us. If I was making faces, it was from the pain."
Pinky shakes his head, but Cain nods toward me as if he understands.
"You see, Pinky? Maybe you were wrong," Sam says, though she doesn't sound so convinced, "And Beau, we may never know if you're telling the truth or not, but you've been so sweet to me that I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt."
"Thank you, Sam. I'm really not lying," I lie, putting my hand on hers for a second.
"Prive it," Cain suddenly lets out, drawing our attention. His eyes are on our joined hands, so I move mine away, "If you're not homophobic... kiss a man."
I drop my mouth open and hold his gaze for almost half a minute, waiting for him to say he's joking, but that doesn't happen.
"I'm not playing. I like you a lot, man, but there are certain things I can't stand, and bigotry is something that I hate," he begins. And I feel the same way, but I don't think I should kiss a man to prove it.
Although honestly speaking, if this was happening before I met Pinky, I'd do it no problem.
"We're at a formal event," I start to say, but Sam, Pinky and Cain make different mocking sounds at the same time, "What?"
"Look around you. Everyone is already drunk or even high on something," Pinky replies, swinging his chair back, "Most of the guests are accompanied by escorts and I can tell you who's had sex scandals this month. And I don't even work for the damn company."
"He's right, an innocent kiss isn't even going to make it into Monday's gossip," Sam says, taking the last sip from her glass and raising her hand to the waiter for another. At this point, I'll have to carry her drunk ass back to her apartment, "If it makes you feel any better, we can all do it. Then it will become a funny dare and no one will care."
"What do you mean?" Cain asks, frowning at me as if I'm to blame for this.
"Let's all kiss someone of our own sex. I call dibs on Amelia," she exclaims, raising her hand as if she's not the only woman in this pitiful little group of friends, "Look around, Beau, chose someone."
I close my eyes for a moment and let all the air out. Fuck, I guess I'll have to do it. It doesn't have to mean anything, but it does. It means my acceptance to this future where I'm openly gay.