#1 Train me Sensei!
A bald headed man about 6'1, awoke from his sleep and had to take the worst shit. He got up from his sleeping bag and rushed to a port-a-potty. He opened the door and slammed it directly behind him. After his peaceful dump, he went back to his dojo and realized he's a broke bum that doesn't even own a toilet. So then he decided to open a dojo for the poor victims of unlawful acts. He opened up Dai Dann Doe. He made a crappy stick man poster and photoshopped himself buff. Dann was proud of this accomplishment, he sat in the dojo waiting for someone to pay him. 2 boys one 18 and the other 19, Donie and Louie. Donie the short younger one with an outgoing attitude but lack of brains. Louie the tall older one that thinks logically but can also be fun. Donie points out the crappy poster Dann left.
"Look Louie! It's a kickass karate poster", Donie said while punching the air,
"Donie, first of all that's not karate it's whatever dumb shit Dai Dann Doe is"
"Yeah whatever, but we should totally check it out Louie!", Donie's eyes glowed with excitement, he ripped the paper off the pole it was taped on to. As much as Louie didn't feel like going, he thought he could at least give it a shot. Donie and Louie enter the dojo and see something shiny glowing. It was Dann's bald head in the darkness. Suddenly Dann launched a flying kick at Louie moving at light speed beyond time and space and reality itself tearing apart the multiverse each burst. Dann's kick was slow and Louie grabbed his foot and launched him into a trash can.
"Are you Mister Dai Dann Doe?", Donie asked. Dann got up like he didn't just break a rib.
"Why yes boy! Hahahahaha, the names Dann"
"Woow Dann that kick was totally awesome!"
"That was the saddest kick I ever blocked."
"Careful students, that was only the initiation! I can't show you my true power just yet". Louie got excited and wanted to see Dann's true ultimate power.
"Alright old man, let's fight right now!"
"N-No I can't I uh… have a really bad stomach ache". Louie went to go pout outside, Donie walked up to Dann.
"Mister Dann Dai you're so cool I want to join your Dai Doe class!"
"Yeah totally your friend packs a real punch"
"Oh yeah Louie is super strong he's my best friend" "Now if you excuse me I have to use the bathroom". Dann runs into a separate room and closes the door. He lets out the screams of pain. Donie goes to open the door, but Dann is right behind the door giving him the death stare. He fixes his face walks out like a professional. Louie stops pouting and comes back to join with Donie. "Are you sure you guys are ready for what's about to come? Are you sure you can handle this, if not you can go back home." "Alright fine, let's go Donie" "No wait of course you're ready I was just kidding, now that'll be 50 bucks" Dann holds his hand out with a wide smile.
"What the fuck? 50!"
"Train me please sensei Dai Doe"
"Yes and please kid it's just Dann", Donie willingly gives Dann 50 bucks. Louie was hesitant but he gave him 50 because Donie did it.
"Alright now my students, your first lesson is installing a toilet in the dojo", Donie and Louie leave the dojo to find a toilet and Louie says
"Yeah he's totally gonna get his ass kicked on every occasion".