I got a new phone.
I had to replace it so I can say goodbye to the people I have known all my life. To at least give them that, a phone call goodbye.
Not that Tess would agree...
She was against me getting a new phone so quickly but I am an adult and maybe hearing Marcus explain himself with me being miles away will help me get the closure I need to move on with my life. She also expects me to tell him I am carrying his child...
That is a conversation I am not ready to have.
"Hey... I know you don't want to hear from me but can we please meet so I can explain myself? Please, Gina, I can't do this over the phone." Marcus says over voicemail. He says this on the 20 messages he left me and this was the last one.
So I do the craziest thing, I call him back and he answers upon the first ring.
"Gosh Gina! You don't know how delighted I am that you called. I just need a few minutes of your time, that is all and I promise to never bother you again." Marcus says on the line.
"Marcus, I need to tell you something," I say but he interrupts me.
"Where would you like to meet? We can meet at the coffee shop you like? The one that sells that green coffee you like so much." He goes on and I just listen to him talk.
It almost felt like old times, the way he would make arrangements for our date night.
After years of dating, this was his way of being romantic... or just rushing me into something so he can say he played his part. Now, this was no different, he was deciding for me again, showing me how he is putting in the effort to see me and I need to do the same.
I allowed this.
I let him decide our lives, and make choices for me and I ended up choosing the worst career of my life. We both went to medical school, where he became a doctor, a path everyone in his family followed and I jumped in there with him, bored out of my mind.
After graduation, he told me I did not need to work, and that he would take care of me. He said we had our whole lives planned out and that this was part of the plan and I went with it, I became a stay-at-home girlfriend who walked around carrying her boyfriend's credit card.
I had no parents to tell me otherwise, he knew this. I lost my parents at a very young age and it was traumatic for me. My mother died of cancer and my dad, unable to deal with her loss, killed himself. I was the one that found him. I also got the front row seat to my mother's deteriorating health... I thought choosing to become a doctor was for my mom, I lied to myself but I did not even know what I wanted, I still don't and I let Marcus decide for me what I wanted.
"Gina, are you there?" Marcus calls out for me on the phone and I remember I am still on the line with him.
"I will not be able to make it. I took a job in a new city and they needed me to start right away, I also think that is the best thing for me, to never see you again so whatever you wanted to say to me in person, say it now." I say.
"You? A job? I thought you didn't want to work?" He says and I chuckle in disbelief.
"Well, the man that promised to take care of me went off to marry my best friend so I can't rely on him anymore," I say.
"I will always take care of you, Gina. Just say the amount and I will send it." Marcus says to me, reigniting the anger that was somewhere taking a break inside of me.
"Don't waste your family's precious money on me, Marcus, save that for your wife. I am sure that she would love that." I say and before he could say anything else.
"Marcus, please understand that I will not be calling you again. Say what you needed to say and be done with it. I need to move on, start my life and close our chapter." I say in annoyance.
"Oh yeah, right. I am sorry... Sorry for everything. We, Jessica and I just fell in love and we did not know how to tell you or Tess... You have no idea how hard this has been for me, coming home to see you, the double life and then Jessica told me she was pregnant. You know how my family cannot have any bad press so they planned our wedding within 24hrs and that is what you walked in on, we did not have enough time to tell any of you. I am really sorry, I can't let her raise this child on her own, my child deserves to grow up as I did." Marcus says and once again, I feel a stabbing pain in my chest.
I drop my phone to press onto my chest, hoping that action alone will ease the pain but it doesn't.
Jessica knew I was feeling faint, that I had bought pregnancy tests to check if I was with child. I confided in her, she comforted me because I told her that Marcus and his family will not allow a child to be born out of wedlock and I was not ready to get married. I said I was not ready but I knew deep down, Marcus was not ready.
I would have done anything had he asked. If he says we need to get married, I would have started the plans right away before he even proposed. That was our life and now Jessica, she planned the whole thing and Marcus fell into her trap.
Marcus was stupid enough to believe her.