The walk to the library was awkward to say the least. Is he mad at me? I didn't mean to go off on him like that! Great. My first friend hates me now. I facepalmed and started to get worked up about the whole situation. Should I apologize? Will he even accept my apology? My mind seemed to be going a mile a minute before I hear Taqi clear his throat. "Now might be a good time to explain what being mated means..." Oh yea! I did want to know about that. "Okay...", I quietly say, willing him to go on.
"Well, you know about the moon goddess, right?", he asks. I nod, "Of course I do, Goddess Selene. She is basically the mother of all the shifters and she is a Titan. While her brother moved the sun across the sky, she would move the moon!" I look up at Taqi's face, "and she...", I trailed off as his face seemed to be contorted with confusion. "I didn't even know all that", he scratched his head as he spoke, "wait, who was her brother?" I looked up at him once again, delighted that he didn't think I was weird for rambling, "Helios! He was a Titan too!" I reply excitedly.
"I can't believe you know all that, but you don't know anything about mates," he chuckles. I just look at him, dying to know what mates are. He must've felt my frustration as he continued his explanation. "Alright, so it is believed that our wonderful moon goddess would strip one complete soul into 2 or more souls. And these souls are destined to find their way back to each other. Mates are the strongest when they are together and truly mated." Wow! That sounds... so ... romantic... my hands go up to my cheeks, afraid that he'd be able to see how red they have become. Oh wait. My mask. I have it on. I sigh in relief, glad that he couldn't see my embarrassment. I can be very anal when it comes to keeping myself covered.
"When you have a mate, or in our case mates, we can sort of sense your feelings." Taqi says in a more serious tone. "What do you mean?" I ask. He stops his walking and I stop with him. "At first, when you walked into the classroom, you were scared. Then you became really afraid of something, it was like pure terror and then you panicked..." I was shocked at what I was hearing. Well I mean, he did notice my panic attack, but anyone would notice that... right? "Then when you realized that I was looking at your face, I could feel your sadness, your disgust... and... your shame...", I looked up at him. He felt that! Can he feel what I'm feeling now? "Now, you're becoming afraid again..." He raises his hands ready to grab onto me like he did before, but I stepped back from his touch.
Hurt flashed across his face. No! I didn't mean to hurt his feelings... "Now, you're sad... and a little regretful..." My eyes widened. He's in my head somehow. That's the only way he could tell all that... I start to pull at my hair and scream at him, "No! NO! Get out of my head!" I shook my head from side to side. He can't be in my head! Just then, he pried my hands off my hair and wrapped his strong arms around me. The smell of rain was thick. Taqi. I really have to stop freaking out around him... But then again, this does feel nice... I relax once again and look up at Taqi. "I-I'm s-s-sorry..." My heart ached at the thought of making him angry at me. He might not wanna stick around any more.
I felt him playing with my hair and closed my eyes. Only then did I feel extremely tired. "You don't have to apologize for your feelings little Toby. As one of your mates, it is my duty to love, protect, and accept you as you are..." I listen to his soothing voice. "Mates are supposed trust each other, I know we are going to have to earn your trust, just like the rest of us did with each other. So, please give us a chance to prove to you that we are worth your trust, that we are worth your love... and maybe you will come to love us too..." It sounded like he was pleading with me. How can he feel like this already? I envy how he can just voice his emotions so clearly and confidently. "I step back and he lets go of me. Why do I miss his embrace? I feel so cold all of the sudden.
I look back up at him again, my left hand nervously finds my right and I begin to pick at my nails. "Okay... I can do that..." Taqi lets out a cute cheer before hugging me again. I didn't know what do, so I just kept my arms by my side. When he let go, my hands flew up to fix myself, trying to again hide my embarrassment. That's when I realized that my glasses are gone. They must've fallen off when I freaked out. I started looking to see if I could spot them only to see Taqi pick up the cracked frame and lenses. Oh come on!
He must have felt my stress because then he said, "You know, you don't need your glasses or the mask. I don't like that you hide yourself, the others won't like it even more." I look back at him in confusion. "They are a bit more extreme than I am..." He says while scratching his head. "But I don't like my face! It's ugly... and people look at it all weird...", my voice trails off in uncertainty. "Don't." Taqi says. I noticed that his voice got a bit deeper and his scent was a bit thicker, almost menacing. I could feel that he was angry. I wonder if this is what Taqi meant? All of the sudden, I felt the need to apologize. Uh-oh... did I make him upset? Will he hit me too? Too? What do I mean by too?
Taqi took a deep breath in and slowly let it out. He did this a few times which effectively calmed him down. He looked me straight in the eyes and said, with a calm voice, "Don't ever say that about yourself, okay? From what I saw, you are beautiful..." Taqi smiles softly. Right now I was feeling all fuzzy inside. "B-but what ab-bout the— The what? Scars?" He cut me off. I close my eyes ready to cry for the umpteenth time today. "Your scars are beautiful Toby. They are like a map of your history, of your struggle to survive, of your truth. They tell the story of everything you have been through and how strong you have become." This makes more tears stream down my face. I've never thought of them that way before...
I look back up at Taqi through teary eyes. "Do you want to call it a day? You've kinda been stressing out since we've met," he says and caresses the side of my face. The action was so comforting and I didn't want him to stop. "No...", I quietly said, "This is the first day of school for me. I'm a big boy! I wanna stay!" Taqi quietly laughed and said, "Okay then, let's go."