Chapter 9 - 8th Dilemma

AKI

"NGH! Aah…" I painfully moaned when Jirou thrusted deeper into my insides. He then inserted two fingers inside my mouth while pounding me from behind, making me muffle my moans.

"You're so sensitive today, Aki. Dahil ba ito kay Hanamichi-kun?" nakangising bulong ni Jirou sa akin at mas nilakasan ang paggalaw n'ya sa loob ko.

"Mmgh!" I groaned and forcefully pushed his fingers out from my mouth and growled at him. "Stop mentioning his name!"

"Oh?" he snickered. "But you get tighter when I say his name," naaaliw nitong saad at mas diniinan ang pagbayo n'ya sa akin.

"Aah!" A loud gasp escaped my mouth as I buried my face against the sheets. "Fuck you, Arisawa."

Jirou chuckled in total amusement and pulled me closer to him, making his dick glide into my most deepest parts. That made me moan again because of the sudden pleasure that he gave me. "You really are interesting. Good thing I found you," nasisiyahan nitong wika. And just like that, Jirou laughed at me and messed me up until I almost passed out.

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"Urgh…" I weakly groaned when I woke up. I lazily grabbed my phone that was resting on top of the drawer at the side of the bed and checked the time. Napangiwi ako nang malamang malapit na mag-alas dos ng madaling araw. Nang lumingon ako sa aking kaliwa ay lalo akong nainis dahil pagmumukha ni Jirou ang nakita ko. "Fuck this," I cursed and forced myself to get up and get dressed.

Mabilis na nagising si Jirou at kinusot ang kanyang mga mata bago sinabing, "Where are you going?"

"Home," tipid kong sagot.

"But it's two in the morning," giit n'ya.

"So? Ayokong makasama ka dito buong magdamag," medyo inis kong tugon sa kanya at nang makapagbihis na ako ay hinarap ko siya habang nakangisi. "Don't get too cocky on me."

"Hmp," Jirou scoffed and let me leave. I had no reason to stay any longer. Besides, nakuha na ni Jirou ang gusto n'ya sa 'kin. We were just fuck buddies; Nothing more, nothing less.

Sanay na ako sa ganito. And I shouldn't let myself be disheartened if I were not treated nicely because I only approached Jirou for the sole reason of venting out my frustrations on him.

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The moment I stepped out of that love hotel that Jirou and I went to, bumungad sa akin ang mukha ni Chihiro na ikinagulat ko naman. He had a worried expression on his face and he looked like he's been standing here for a while now.

"What are you doing here?" I tried to sound calm even though I was shocked to see him right after I was screwed by another guy.

"Hinihintay kitang lumabas, Izumi-sensei," he honestly uttered and it stunned me even more.

"Huh? Hinintay? You mean—"

"Sinundan ko kayo ni Arisawa-san," putol n'ya sa akin at napasinghap ako ng bahagya.

"W-why?" I asked in confusion. He didn't know that I sleep with random men. It was the only thing I wouldn't want Chihiro to know dahil ayokong magbago ang tingin n'ya sa akin. A part of me didn't want to ruin his purity and ignorance of the harsh reality.

「Chihiro is such a kind-hearted kid. Someone like me doesn't deserve his admiration,」 I thought to myself.

"Suki desu, Sensei," he uttered but unlike his usual erotic way of saying it, the Chihiro that was telling me these words now sounded hurt. He then began to cry.

"Why are you crying?!" I asked in panic.

He hurriedly tried to wipe off his tears. "Kahit ano'ng gawin ko, Sensei, ikaw pa rin talaga. Alam kong napaka-immature ko pa sa paningin mo at kulang ako sa experience pero totoo itong nararamdaman ko para sa 'yo, Sensei. Sana maniwala ka." Saying that while sobbing like a child really pricked my heart. Why did he have to fall for me?

"Chihiro, I…"

"Alam ko ang tungkol sa inyo ni Arisawa-san," muli na naman n'yang putol sa sasabihin ko and my eyes widened. "Minsan ko na kayong narinig na nag-uusap sa loob ng opisina mo, Sensei, noong isang gabi bago ka nagbakasyon sa amin."

"Then… why…?" I began to clench my fists and I slightly bit my lower lip to stop my tears from falling down. "Why are you still saying that you like me if you already knew that I was a slut?"

"It's because I really do like Sensei," he said it with a sincere smile on his face and it gave me the shudder of regret.

"You're so unfair…" I almost whispered and I finally gave up and cried in front of him. Niyakap naman ako ni Chihiro at ilang saglit din kaming nanatiling gano'n bago namin nilisan ang hotel.

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For the first time, Chihiro brought me to his place. Since it was cold outside, he served us coffee to warm ourselves up. Wala pa ni isa sa amin ang nag-bring up ng naging usapan namin kanina. Marahil ay kinakabahan din si Chihiro kagaya ko.

After some time of sipping the coffee, I decided to speak. "Chihiro…"

"Suki desu." Muli na naman n'yang pakli and I saw him blushing. He was not blushing because he was horny but he was rather embarassed.

"Let me be honest with you. Your father hates me."

"Huh?" he then looked at me with confusion to why I suddenly mentioned his father.

"Iyong nangyari sa atin…" I slightly averted my eyes. "Your dad warned me."

"Paano?" nakasimangot nitong baling.

「You really had no idea, huh?」

"Kinausap n'ya ako at sinabihang layuan ka. Well, technically speaking, hindi kita basta-bastang maiiwasan dahil magkatrabaho tayo but he did tell me not to ever touch you or do those kind of things with you ever again," pagpapaliwanag ko.

"At ayos lang sa 'yo, Sensei?" he asked me this with a pained look.

Napatitig naman ako sa kanya. "I really don't know."

"Naiintindihan ko ang punto ni Tou-chan. Nag-aalala siya para sa kaligtasan ko at nirerespeto ko iyon dahil hindi naman ako pinaghihigpitan ni Tou-chan sa kabila ng nangyari sa akin noon. Pero, Sensei, ikaw talaga ang mahal ko."

I slowly felt my cheeks getting hot after hearing that but I tried to hide it. "Please stop saying it so effortlessly."

"Seryoso ako, Sensei," he insisted and showed me a determined look. "Ipaglalaban kita at gagawin ko ang lahat para magustuhan mo rin ako."

"What? Chihiro, stop joking around," sita ko pa sa kanya kahit na kumakabog na ang puso ko sa magkahalong kilig at pagkamangha.

"Izumi-sensei…" he huskily called out my name and brought his large, warm right hand to my left cheek and stroked it with so much passion. "Please trust me."

"But this is wrong. This is all wrong," I insisted and I just started to cry.

"Suki desu."

"I am a dirty person, you know?" I added.

"Suki desu."

"Stop it, Chihiro. Someone like me doesn't deserve that love of yours." By this time, my tears wouldn't stop dripping and my chest felt like it was going to burst open.

"Suki desu… Aki-san," pakli nito at maging siya ay napaiyak na rin at masuyong pinagdikit ang mga noo namin sa isa't isa. "Suki desu. Suki desu. Suki desu."

"Why me, Chihiro? Why…?" I sniffled.

「I can't handle his honesty. This level of admiration is just so… absurd.」

"Because you are Sensei. Hindi mahalaga sa akin ang nakaraan mo, Sensei. May dahilan ang lahat, hindi ba? Nagmahal ka din at nasaktan, hindi ba? Naiintindihan ko, Sensei." He said then he cupped both of my cheeks with his hands. "Marahil wala pa akong alam sa pag-ibig pero sa tuwing nasasaktan si Sensei ay lalo lamang akong nag-aalala at hinihiling ko na sana ay sa akin ka lumapit kapag hindi mo na kaya. Handa akong makinig, Sensei. Yayakapin ko ang lahat ng kamalian mo at pagkukulang. Ako ang pupuno sa pagmamahal na hindi mo makuha sa kanila. Hayaan mo akong patunayan ang sarili ko, Sensei."

Then I just broke down and lashed out all of my emotions. Chihiro hugged me tight as he cried with me and silently listened to my deafening bawling. Iyon ang unang pagkakataon na mas naging mature si Chihiro kaysa sa akin. Nakakapanibago na masaksihan ang ganoong Chihiro pero isang mabigat na saloobin ang natanggal mula sa akin.

It was all thanks to this Omega.

「But is it really fine for someone like me to accept his love? Wouldn't it be a one-sided thing just like that of my feelings towards Kicchan before? Magagawa ko kayang tugunan ang pagmamahal na mayroon si Chihiro sa akin bago dumating ang panahon na magsawa na siya sa kakahabol sa 'kin?」

「to be continued」