Sirisuk Family,
When we got home, I saw my mom sitting on the sofa, sighing like the world was ending—every three seconds, like clockwork. What's wrong with her now? I thought. Before I could ask, Pim shot past me like a rocket, flopping onto Mom's lap.
"I'm hungrryyyyyyy…" Pim whined, dragging the last word so long I thought she'd pass out before finishing it.
Mom gave her a tired smile. "Okay, I'll cook something." Then her eyes shifted to me. "Win, come and help me."
I nodded. Of course, I couldn't say no. If I tried, she'd probably scold me all the way to the kitchen anyway.
As I followed her, I couldn't help but notice how deep her sighs were. She's definitely worried about something. Should I ask? Or should I pretend I don't see it? Well, in the end, I decided to ask. While chopping vegetables, I glanced at her.
"Mom, is something bothering you?"
She stopped cutting for a second, looked at me, then let out the mother of all sighs. "I wish you were a girl."
I blinked. Froze. What? My spatula almost slipped. What did she just say? Did I hear that right?
I looked at Pim, lying on the couch like a potato. What's wrong with this one? Not girly enough? Too loud? Eats too much? I scratched my head, trying to make sense of it.
But in the end, I said nothing more. Better to stay quiet than risk her really losing it. I just kept helping her, though her words hung in the air like a bad smell I couldn't shake.
Even during dinner, she kept sighing. Again and again and again. Dad and Pim didn't seem to notice—or maybe they just didn't care. Because, let's be real, when there's food right in front of them, who has time to worry about someone sighing like their life is a soap opera? That's how my dad and Pim are: eat first, emotions later.
But that's not the main issue here. The real issue? I need to tell them I'm gay.
Looking at Mom, though? Is today really the best time? No, no, Win. Stop delaying! But seriously, look at her. If I don't tell them today, then when? What if she keeps sighing tomorrow? And the day after that? I'll go insane at this rate.
Alright. That's it. Enough. I've made up my mind. I'll tell them. Today. After dinner. No more delays. No more excuses. Win, you can do this.
...Or at least I hope so.
***
Later After Dinner...
Dishes cleaned? Check.
Table spotless? Check.
Pim asleep and out of the way? Check.
Perfect. This is the moment. The stars have aligned, and there's no turning back.
My heart was pounding so loudly, I swear I could hear it echoing in my ears. "Okay, Win. You can do this. Fighting!" I whispered to myself like I was a hero gearing up for battle. With shaky determination, I marched into the living room where my parents were peacefully watching TV, blissfully unaware of the storm about to hit.
"Mom, Dad..." I started nervously. They both turned to look at me, their peaceful expressions suddenly making me even more nervous.
I froze. "...do you need... anything else?" I blurted out.
They exchanged a look and said, "No."
Damn it! I chickened out. Again.
But no, no, no! I can't give up like this. Come on, Win. Pull it together! You've got this! I took a deep breath, clenching my fists like I was about to jump off a cliff.
"Mom... Dad..." I tried again, my voice a little stronger this time.
They turned to me once more, their faces curious now.
"I need to talk to you both," I managed to say, somehow keeping my voice steady.
Dad tilted his head and said, "Sure, what is it?"
And there it was—the opening. My chance. No backing down now. I swear, for a moment, no words came out of my mouth. Who would've thought this would be this hard? I mean, just being myself—saying who I am—would feel like climbing a mountain with no ropes.
"What's the matter, Win?" Dad asked again, his voice cutting through the fog of my hesitation.
I glanced at him, then at Mom, and finally managed to say, "Actually... there's something I need to tell you. About me."
Their expressions shifted immediately. I could tell they sensed I was about to drop something serious. Dad reached for the remote and turned off the TV, the cheerful sounds of the show replaced by a tense silence. Both of them were now looking at me, worry and fear etched on their faces.
And then, I begin.
"I wanted to tell you before, but I couldn't because... I was scared," I said, my voice trembling as my eyes began to sting with unshed tears. "But I can't hide anymore."
Hearing that, their nervousness only seemed to grow. Mom, who just minutes ago had been sighing endlessly about who-knows-what, suddenly forgot whatever had been troubling her.
"Win… what's the matter, son? You can tell us," she said, her voice warm and soothing.
I clenched my fists. This was it. This was the moment.
I exhaled slowly, then finally spoke the words that had been suffocating me. "Actually… I am… I'm GAY."
I closed my eyes tightly, like a child hiding from a storm. I didn't want to see their faces, didn't want to catch even a glimpse of disgust or disappointment. I didn't want to open my eyes. I thought they'd look at me with disgust, shock… maybe even like what happened with Tan, it would happen to me too.
But when I finally gathered the courage to peek, all I saw was… my mom and dad smiling at me.
Yeah, smiling.
Can you believe it? No disgusted expressions. No fainting from shock. None of those dramatic reactions like "WHAT?!" that you see in TV dramas. Just… smiles. Not big, toothy grins, but gentle, warm smiles that felt like a cozy hug.
Dad leaned back on the couch, casually sighing in relief. "And here I thought you'd done something terrible," he said, as if I'd just confessed to accidentally breaking a vase or something.
Mom nodded, shaking her head like she couldn't believe me. "Exactly, Win! You nearly gave us a heart attack with all that buildup!"
And me? I was shocked. Can you believe it? Me! The person who should be shocked is them, right? But nope. Look at me. Completely stunned. I blinked a few times, trying to process this.
Maybe they didn't hear me properly?
"Mom, Dad… did you hear me?" I asked, raising my voice slightly, just in case. "I said I'm gay. Your one and only son is GAY! G-A-Y. Gay."
Dad looked at me, deadpan. "We heard you, Win."
I blinked, a little thrown off. "Then… why are you guys taking it so… casually?"
Dad raised an eyebrow, leaning in as if this was a completely normal conversation. "Well, how exactly do you want us to take it?"
"I dunno… I thought maybe you'd be… disgusted?" I said, trailing off, feeling my heart race. "Or... maybe you'd look at me differently."
Mom and Dad exchanged a glance before Dad turned back to me, his tone serious but not judgmental. "Win… tell me something."
"Yeah, Dad?" I said, bracing myself.
"Being gay… did you kill someone?" he asked, his voice like he was asking if I'd forgotten my keys.
"What?!" I gasped. "No!"
"Did you bully someone until they killed themselves, which is basically murder?" he asked again, his tone unwavering.
"No, Dad!" I said, feeling more bewildered by the second.
Dad sat back, crossing his arms with a casual shrug. "Then why would we be disgusted? You're still our son. Nothing changes."
I froze. "What?"
"Look, Win," Dad said, leaning forward now with a more serious edge. "As long as you didn't kill anyone, bully anyone, why should it matter whether you're gay, straight, or… bisexual."
"You're our son. You're Pim's older brother. You're a teacher, a friend. That doesn't change anything, right?" He added.
I smiled, feeling the tears start to well up in my eyes. I was accepted. I didn't have to fight, didn't have to argue, and didn't have to lock myself in a room. I was happy. Really happy.
"Yeah, but one thing will change though," Dad said, his tone light.
Mom and I both looked at him, confused. "What, honey?" Mom asked.
Dad grinned, leaning back on the couch. "Instead of setting you up with blind dates with girls, we'll find you the perfect man."
I nodded, chuckling through my tears. "Yes, Dad. Yes."
Mom beamed, her eyes twinkling with happiness. Then, something clicked. Her eyes widened—not in surprise, but in pure, unfiltered joy.
"That's right, honey," she said, her voice full of excitement. "Instead of setting up blind dates with women, we'll find the perfect man for Win."
Before I could respond, she jumped up and hugged me so tightly that I almost couldn't breathe. "Thank you, Win. Thank you so much. Thank you for coming out."
She pulled back slightly, and looked at me with so much love. "You… you're always the best son." Then she kissed my forehead. "I love you so much, dear." And with that, she practically skipped off to her room, happier than I'd ever seen her.
Dad turned to me, just as confused as I was. "What's wrong with her again?"
"I don't know," I replied, still processing the whirlwind of emotions.
And just like that, I—Phawin Sirisuk—who had thought life was going exactly as I wanted, unknowingly cleared up whatever problem my mother had… and changed my life dramatically, forever.