I was really hate myself now because i can't control myself anymore since i was meet him but i can't do anything about because i don't know how to makes myself be like i was before because now i was face a really dilema situation which i should stay either i should leave because i was love him so much but in the other hands i was scary that i will get heartbroken again and i will be back to the dark time which the last time i get that time it was pretty really bad and i am scary that it will difficult for me to get back again.
This thing is really makes me crazy and depression omg why life can't just be a normal like other which they live happily and no problems like me i mean they also have their own problem but not as bad as me i just want live happily and always be together with someone i love and spend the rest of my life with them and shouldn't worried about other people think.