As I walked up to the rooftop I began to feel bitterness, I'm used to it, but when your last hope vanishes in a blink of an eye it isn't easy to bear.
My last chance to get a role failed, I am already 28 years old, and I couldn't get a role other than that of a tree.
I don't know why, but I'm talentless, I have never seen someone worse than me when it comes to acting, and yet I still tried to be an actor all my life.
It may seem childish, but I've always wanted to be a successful actor who conveys happiness, but unfortunately that's not going to happen anymore.
'It would be nice if I could get a second chance', but It wouldn't matter anyway, it's just a childish wish. How pathetic for an adult to think about it.
Realizing that I finally got to the rooftop, I looked up at the sky, and even the darkest night wouldn't feel so depressing as the sky is today.
Looking decisively at the parapet, I took a deep breath in, I tried to jump, but I hesitated.
When I thought if I should go back, I remembered my debts, I couldn't pay them, so why should I go back.
Looking down, I got myself observing people walking through the street, I felt that I'm just an ant before all this world.
I just took a step forward, then I felt the wind against me, actually, it felt pretty good, unfortunately, it would be the last time I felt anything.
I thought that while I was free-falling, I would watch my life as a movie, but it seems I can't even be the lead actor of my own life movie.
I closed my eyes, and then I heard the sound of my bones breaking and felt my body getting colder, and then I died.
It's terrifying to be able to hear all the bones of your body cracking.
It should have been the end of the line to me, but surprisingly even if I was supposed to be dead, I'm still thinking, so I must be alive.
I'm in a dark place, surrounded by nothing, maybe I'm blind, or even I am at the underworld.
I tried to move my body, but I don't feel anything, I can't move an inch of it, so what really happened to me?
As Descartes said "I think, therefore I am", so somehow I'm alive, what's going to happen to me?
I don't know what happened, but something feels strange. Somehow, my consciousness feels about to fade away.
After dying, I repented my decision, why didn't I try again instead of giving up? Even if I had to live on the street, why did I waste my only immutable possession?
With the last bit of my consciousness, I said:
— I don't wanna die. — Each word full of resentment.
I resent my decisions, I resent my past, I resent my lack of talent, I resent my lack of effort, I resent my parents dying before I met them, I resent everything.
When my conscience blacked out, a voice sounded, but I couldn't hear it anymore.
[Congratulations! You have been recognized as the most pathetic being on planet Earth, the Acting System invites user Lee Noon.]
[Do you want to be the host of the Acting System?]
[Yes / No]
[Standby time: 10 seconds.]
[Standby time: 9, 8, 7 … 3, 2, 1.]
[Due to lack of response I will take this as a yes, the system wants to see the development of that larvae, I mean, I want to see the development of the host.]
Initialization in progress, current status: 1%
Initialization status: 30%
Initialization status: 60, 70, 80, 100%
[Critical Error: Host body is malfunctioning]
[Critical Error: The revival of host's body is impossible]
[Scanning region]
[Ideal body found, initializing.]
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Where am I? Turn off the light! My eyes feel heavy, I can't open it now.
I got an extreme headache, then somehow a memory of me in a dark room came, but soon I forgot it, I don't know why, but I felt it was important.
Wait, pain? How do I feel pain, didn't I die?
This smell, why am I so stinky? What is this metallic smell on my body, is it blood? Maybe I just got to the hospital, after my fall.
Why my body it's soaked, what happened? Maybe they bathed me while I was unconscious, but if they bathed me, why am I smelling blood?
AHHH, I am too dumb, I can't find an answer, so I'll give up thinking about it.
Right now I just want to remember where I was, what was that dark room?
Don't matter how I tried, I couldn't remember what it was, just that I was in a dark room.
I must have been unlucky enough to survive. I thought that I'd die, but that's not so bad.
I'd repent if I had wasted my life.
Again the headache came, like if I had said that already, it felt like a déjà vu.
Which hospital am I? My ears weren't working well, I could hear sounds, no, it was like an agonizing noise, but after some time I got capable of understanding what was being said.
Actually, I'm glad I didn't die, but I don't know how I'll pay the hospital fee.
I'm totally broke, I'll probably be going to sell some of my organs, otherwise I won't be able to pay the medical fee.
— Congratulations! He's a beautiful boy. — Said a young woman voice, she was excited, probably the first time seeing a birth.
What are these people talking about? I can't have peace even now. Well, at least I can rest for a while, since my eyes won't open.
*Baaam*
An excruciating pain was coming from my left buttock, I was really shocked.
Who was the retard that hit me? I tried shouting, but I heard a voice that wasn't mine.
— Buaaaaaaaahh — A baby cried at the same time I spoke, or so I thought.
Who's crying? Stupid kid, shut up.
Wait, this kid, no way, right?
Perhaps because of the shock, the previous effort or the anger, I finally opened my eyes, but I didn't believe what I saw.
Small hands, small feet, giant people around me and a woman looking at me.
"He stopped crying so fast, it looks like my boy will be strong when he grows up"
When I heard this, I turned my head with difficulty and saw a mirror and the image in it only confirmed what I feared, I turned into a baby.