At the crack of dawn a night to remember, they shifted in between the stars as the lights dimmed down. Red cloaks and chanting circled the room, they gathered around to worship, to pray, to seek truth into something, someone, who would save them. Fire, loud crackling noises were heard from the center of it all. A roaring fire is filled with nothing but chaos. This wasn't right. I watched from afar, only to feel the guilt of my words weigh upon me. I spoke out and searched on finding a place of belonging, a place for those lost in the darkness of the world. Only to give birth to the demon's heir. Who was destined to do horrible things to those who did us wrong. My mind spun as the pain began to rise inside.It's here and today will mark it's beginning.

"Careful! We don't wish to harm the child, we must be gentle!"

Pain infused with rage, hatred replacing the last hope I had of this place. My insides were torn and felt like they were bursting. Boiling in a pot of water as hot enough to cook me. Screams, horsed and pained groans mixed with a small cry of life. It's painful. The chanting stopped, they stood in awe at the child they witnessed. It cried and wailed, glistening in blood. It was born. He was born. My son and their so-called savior was born. The only problem to come, is that their so-called God didn't exist. Their so-called demon spawn, heir to hell, was simply human. A mere child waiting to see the world as it is. And I vowed to take care of it under the protection of their leader myself. And with that in mind, he came walking over with nothing but a smile on his crooked face. It pained me. I placed myself in this situation, I placed this child into a world that won't do any good but harm to him. I had no motivation to move or walk. The energy I had given out, drained me in the end. They rushed to wash off their 'savoir' while I was put to lay in a tub and cleaned up soon after. He kept watched. His eyes never left as they did their deeds. He was always watching, if anything, I would call him the spawn of Satan himself. In the body of a charismatic man with a beautiful face and deceiving heart of gold. He was my husband. The man who pulled the strings on my heart and trapped me in a box. Pathetic. I felt no love for him after the years we spent together. He was an angel, a dream to most females' hearts on the streets. But at home, his cult, his place of honor, he was a monster. One who told lies and spread them like there was no end to them. One with followers who would fear and run if they were to abandon him. He wasn't human in my eyes.

He approached me, snake-like fingers took my hand, and wrapped around it. Large yet gentle hands tightened their grip as he stared into my eyes. Cold yet sweet, alluring chocolate eyes. The eyes I fell for when it was all but a sweet happy dream. A discomforting and distant dream. He beckoned me to smile, yet I was tired. I couldn't relax or think of simple words to make me smile at this time. I gave him a small smile and then a tired look. A plea of emotion to let him know, the woman you love was drained of her energy and needs to rest.

"I see now." A low like thunder yet a sweet melody of a song came out of his mouth. "You must rest and regain what you have devoted to. The heir needs its loving mother to help guide and show compassion to our family around us." Those in cloaks walked around with a small vessel. My child. They held him with such care, second thoughts filled my mind. They would protect him with their lives. They would care and try to raise him like one of their own. They would hurt him. The pain of spilling blood, abandoning friends, crushing his own views on life for what he was so-called destined for. I wasn't ready to give in. I wish for him to not live such a life as I have seen what type of people they really are. I vow to protect him and to leave this hellish cult in the ground. Far beyond 6 feet even. I wish to bury this place, these people, this world and their leader to the ground. I wish to be free once more.

-Early December of 2003-

My little bundle of joy, so caught up in my arms while having a sip of milk. I couldn't bear to let anyone hurt him since that day. He wouldn't allow anyone to. The sky is a bright blue as we took a stroll outside the house in a small town west of the city of June. We walked down a stream, giving a fresh memory of living in a small home in a forest-like country with a river guiding our hearts. Nature sang its beauty as I held my bundle of joy. A loud crunch came from behind me, without worry, I turned around. He followed me and of course, I knew. My darling husband, the center of my attention, the center of my pain, and the capture of my freedom. He stood tall and smiled softly as he noticed who was in my hand being awake and curious as he looked around the scenery around us.

"Shouldn't be out walking around these parts, my love." He slowly approached me, each step getting louder and louder as it matched my breath. Slow and steady, calm and yet threatening.

"I was only looking at the sky. I wanted to show our wonderful child how pretty the skies can get during the day. You've out of all should know how important it is to show beauty to him, Colten." I smile while slowly approaching the man before me. Colten Lamont Trevis, the man who kept me as his wife and no more than a breeding tool for his cult. For his so-called family. He caressed my cheek while smiling. I stared into his eyes waiting for him to say something, longing to hear him let me off with a light scolding of leaving the home without permission. However, he simply nodded his head and wrapped his arms around me.

"Allow me to come with you, my love." He spoke so soundly, as his gaze shifted from my eyes to the one in our arms. "Harper, our beautiful lilac child, will soon know the world and guide us when the time is right." His gaze shifted towards me with cold eyes. Commanding and fierce had painfully cornered me into a corner."Come, Lilian, we must go home as before night falls." The sound of the leaves crunching as he began to lead me back home. Our child, our wonderful baby boy, took his gaze from the world around us to looking directly at us. I smiled. He would have the world in his hands. But not here. He must be free. He won't go through this hell like I have. I felt his cold hands trailed up my side, my darling husband had caught his attention while making silly faces. The child giggled and laughed as all I could do was stare at the one who I call 'love'. He wasn't human, but sure can act like it. Approaching the home before us as the sun slowly faded to a beautiful sunset to a dark sky. Inside the home we went, placing the Lilac into his crib. I was pulled to the side and pushed into the wall outside the bedroom. He wasn't happy, as I known. I left the house, with our child, without his permission. He made rules, rules each female had to take as it was part of the tradition of the cult. Without a males permission, we weren't allowed to leave the house. Nor are we allowed to speak and express our own ideas and pleas. We weren't allowed to fight, or to take jobs. We were only household slaves to the males. They could have many but it wasn't ideal since the first born child should always mark their birth of a new wedding bond. Each child, special males, were to represent their fathers at all time. And with Lilac being the son of their leader, he was to be as perfect and resemble no mistakes or unbalanced characteristics. The more I think of it, the more I shudder and realized my position here. He was staring down at me as I left my train of thought now. He's waiting on me to say something or at least fight back. But those days of mine, the days before his child are gone. I simply sat there, lifeless in my eyes but with a beating heart. He reached over, holding me up and carrying me around in a princess-style hold. We passed old pictures, smiling faces that seem like distant memories now. I missed my family. Before I even married Colten, they warned me. They told me he was too perfect. Too good to be true. I was blind. I used to get mad at them when they spoke of him like that. But looking back, they were trying to keep me safe. He took me away from my friends, I lost them due to his influence, his so-called love. It ruined everything, it ruined me. I couldn't cry now as for how much I wished to go back to the past. How would it go if I didn't meet him? If I didn't listen to him, would I still have the friends and family who loved me dear or would it go spiraling down? Before I knew it, I was placed in bed. Cold. He embraced me from behind, his warmth was true but not pure.

"Rest Lilian. Your health matters to the child."

Those words. The way he uses my name, my child. It was all a game to him. A game that he was winning in his own little world. My skin boiled underneath his hold as I was trying to hold myself from provoking him. I can feel his gaze on me though. Staring at me. He's always watching me. Waiting for me to make a move. Colten. You're a monster who shouldn't have taken a toll on me. You were the one who I should have been warned about, and yet I don't hate you so much. I was obsessed with your love, your voice, your touch, and the taste of your lips when we both collided together. I was in the palm of your hands. Always wishing to make you happy, always wanting to make you smile and be there during your hard times. When in reality, you were breaking me down. Putting me against those I loved and cared about and losing them all just to stand with nowhere to go. Such shame it is to say I was blind and fooled but something we called love but ended up being toxic. At last, I began to close my eyes feeling the hot droplet of a tear stroll down the side of my eyes to a diagonal across my cheek. Feeling his finger wiped and smudged the trial across my face, he kissed my neck. It felt like a prick, something biting a vulnerable spot. I was at my weakest state and could no longer fight. But now I have a purpose, and that purpose was to protect the child you gave me. Help him learn, help him grow to be the person who can live freely without being reminded of what your actions caused. Lilac will be an extraordinary human being. Just you wait.