'Am I falling fast' Kian asked himself. There was an awkward silence and she cleared her throat "thank you" .
She realized that she was face to face, close to his face and his body, and once again she melted to butter.
She quickly turned around facing the other side. She heard his voice in a low tone saying " I don't know but maybe I could recommend you to some people, that'll get you married faster".
How on earth would he recommend me? She asked inside her. Was he going to submit her name or sign her up for some registration and a random suitor would find her. What was she doing?. She was actually going to a far away land to get married. What if the man she finds doesn't love her. Most importantly she doesn't love the man.
Would she live a loveless marriage for the rest of her life. " This isn't a relationship this is marriage!!" she blurted out loud looking shocked and scared.
Kian looked at her from behind. Was she realizing this now. " Kian I'm not ready" she turned around looking at him
" You were never ready Della" He said in a sad tone.
" What am I supposed to do?. I do no want to get married at all or maybe for now, I don't know maybe I'm too young for all of this I can't comprehend this, no I..."
" Della" he cut her short from her panicking state. Wasn't she too young to entangle herself with a man. " Look at me" he turned her around to face him and he lifted her chin.
" It is scary but at least you'll live the good life away from your dad". " What if he doesn't love me?" Wow her words hit him like a spear. Were they all stuck on getting her married, what of the concept of love in a marriage.
What she said seemed to have gotten to him as well. He won't be able to live with that guilt. " Love grows. In time the both of you would love yourself". He tried reassuring her " But what if I'm not happy?" It didn't look like it was working because she was sinking in her anxiety.
Oh my goodness, did she have this much questions battling in her mind the entire time, how was she dealing with this all on her own.
He held her hair pulling her closer to this chest. " You'll be fine".
" You know I won't be". He began hearing little sobs from her. Oh this emotional child, she had overflowing emotions enough that she would break down if this didn't work out for her. She would suffer in a bad marriage for the rest of her miserable life.
" Hey don't cry, he looked at her in the eye. One thing I know is that you're good in trusting strangers, he laughed lightly. So you can do it one more time". After all she was Soo loose guard with Alvah then him.
Although she had tears in her eyes and she was sad. She managed to put on an angry face and was quick to change her position.
" Hey Della" he grinned but she was already in the other position. Her actions made him giggle and it somewhat released the tension.
He placed his lips on her nape and spoke, "sometimes life is filled with no choices". He lifted his face up and pulled her closer squeezing her like he didn't want to let her go.
She may not know this but letting her go at this point felt like he was losing something and he had a strange feeling. On her path she was losing her sanity. Was this how it feels having someone you love closer to you comforting you. Wait did she love him or did he love her ?.
Why did they both seem comfortable in each other's arms. Still trying to process everything, she heard his voice. " I hope I can find someone that'll take care of you as much as I want to". He had murmured it but she heard him
It clicked in her head. 'All this while did he like me and he was trying to make me see it'. She was trying as much as possible not to misunderstand herself. But she may have just deciphered it
When she felt his arm wrapping around her waist tighter than before. She felt like something was wrong, like he needed someone to also vent his frustration but no one was there for him except her at the moment.
" Are you okay?" She asked when she got no reply. She released herself from his grip turning around to look at him. He didn't look too good.
She held his face " are you okay?". She asked him once again. And he nodded with a slight grin on his face like he was happy that she cared for him. He was genuinely happy that he could feel her reciprocate for once.
She shifted her hands from his face to his his neck and gave him a hug. She didn't know this but that was his first hug in over 10 years and he wasn't going to miss out on this. He held her and squeezed her into him and buried his face on her neck.
Della felt good for a moment and then remembered if she was going to get married was this right for her.
Before she could reason any further she heard a soft voice "I love you Della". If she could clean the wax out her ears to hear that once again she would. Because she needed to hear twice or clearly to believe what she just heard. " What did you say?" She asked him still not pulling out of the hug.
" I said we need to sleep Della". Her muttered underneath his breath with his warm breath on her neck. She subconsciously squeezed him even tighter by the neck but he didn't complain. He had on his face a smile he hadn't had in years. She suddenly pulled out trying to look at him when their nose touched. She smiled at him widely and he didn't know what he felt but the heat between the both of them tensed up.
What was happening? Kian asked himself, was she willing to let him have her first kiss ? That did not seem right. It looked like she was waiting for him to initiate it but why was he hesitant.
Did this girl completely forget that she's supposed to be preparing for her upcoming marriage. Why was she doing this with him, their position, the intense emotions, the sudden affection that was building up between them.
But she looked even more attractive looking at him, waiting on him, why couldn't he resist and tell her no. But he caused this, he just confessed to her a few minutes back that he loved her and although she didn't reply he knew she felt the same. But he wasn't supposed to say that. He knew that was wrong as long as they weren't meant to be together.