At age 10, I was told I wasn't allowed sit at the bigger table at my family gatherings because that was the mens table.
At age 11, I was told not to be too loud because " girls aren't supposed to be loud".
At age 12, I was told to " learn how to take a joke" and "stop being so emotional" when I was groped by a classmate.
At age 13, I was told to cover up my whole body because I am a women now and I shouldn't attract attention from predators.
At age 14, I was told not to talk about my period because " guys don't want to hear about such disgusting things".
At age 15, I was told that I should just ignore it because "boys will be boys" when I complain about grown men harassing me on the street.
At age 16, I was told by my FEMALE biology teacher that how I dress determines me getting raped.
At age 17, I was told about how a girl was brutally beaten up and left for dead when she tried to fight against her rapists.
At age 18, I was told that I should have just "gotten up and walked away" when I was sexually assaulted.
At age 19, I hope to able to create more awareness and say a big fuck you to everyone who encouraged rape culture and misogyny.
2019 for me was a year of discovery and self growth. When the year started, I was determined to make it work. I knew that after all the events of 2018 the worst part of my life was over. I had been sexually assaulted, let go of my friends because of it, fell in to a depressive pit where I did a lot of things that I should not have. But I finally moved away from everything.
I had just moved to new city and I knew I could only go up only from there. I was right. I made friends who were lot better, who, if I been honest, are the reasons I am still alive and thriving today.
I started modeling which I am passionate about.
I got my first paid gigs in modeling in 2019.
My first appearances in TV. My first invites to major events and lots of other wonderful things.
2019 was only the year that I finally got diagnosed with bipolar disorder and ptsd ( thanks to free mental health care) it was thanks to this, that I recognized my self destructive behavior and focused on improving myself. But I wasn't all sunshine and happiness.
I did have quite a few struggles. I couldn't hold down a proper job due to my illness. There were days I struggled to get out of my bed and days days where I didn't get out of my bed at all. There were days where my friend who live with could find me on the floor in the middle of the night and helped me back in the bed. There were days where I couldn't eat and months where I couldn't go outside at all.
But despite all that, I am still here today. I am ending the year in a gorgeous island. Where I walk barefoot everywhere, Do yoga, play the ukelele, read books, enjoy the sunshine and socialize with people.
In 2020 I met my love of life, he was a good person when we were in a relationship.
We got married in 2021 and after a month he was a different person, always yelling and fighting. Another more days I was struggling.
In 2022 we had a big fight and he killed her, cut her neck, both legs and both arms.