'So what's the plan for you tonight? You and Mr. Alan going out? Going in? In and out? Getting it on?'
I snorted. It was already Valentine's Day week. In two short days, I would have to figure out if I was spending it with Alan or keeping him at arm's length like I was supposed to. I shrugged. 'I think we're getting Chinese and a movie.' I hadn't even told Jeffrey what Alan's thing was. He knew there was a thing. He knew that to a degree his fake psychic prediction had been right, but I wouldn't fess up. Which was driving him mad.
'A little bondage?'
I shook my head and waggled a finger at him. Grinned.
'Water sports?'
'Nope.' Truth be told, I was getting tired. Having to be the fucker every time had stolen some of my girlish glee. Who knew that deep down I loved to be taken and that after the first few pegging incidents (yes, I'd looked up the proper term), the rush wore off and I wanted him to woo me and take me and fuck me. Me, me, me!
Jeffrey leaned in and I could smell the strawberry of his shiny pink lip-gloss. 'Candle wax on the nips and bits?'
'Un-unh.' I swallowed a giggle and then my beer. Maybe I'd plead sick tonight. I still had about two weeks with Alan, but no one said I had to be with him every time he asked me out. That wasn't in the plan.
'He likes to take it up the rear,' Jeffrey snorted.
I was about to react with huge nonchalance but I was too late. Jeffrey's eyes flew wide and his shiny, pink mouth split in a grin. 'Dear Mother Mary and baby saviour, he likes it up the–'
I smacked my hand over Jeffrey's mouth and hissed, 'Do not finish that sentence. Do not. Or I will disown you, including not lending you my leggings that you say are technically unisex. Do you understand, Jeffrey Brian Grant?' He nodded, his eyes still wide. I took my hand away. 'Are you wearing mascara?'
'Just a stroke or two.' He leaned in, shiny bald mocha head gleaming in the low lights. 'Oh my God, so you um ... you give it to him. You're his back door Santa? You're making deliveries in the rear? You're–'
'Jeffrey,' I said warningly.
He raised his hands like he was under arrest. 'Girl, you know that I of all people would not hold it against a man for liking a good firm di–'
'Jesus Christ,' I said, letting my head hit the wooden bar table. 'What have I done?'
He threw his arm around me. 'Exactly, Carina. Tell Uncle Jeffrey, what have you done?'
I waved my arm so that Bruce would pour me another beer ... or three.
I did end up putting Alan off that night. I sat and eventually spilled all the beans to not only Jeffrey, but God help me, to my brother Jack. Newly inducted into the gay club, he wanted details. After enough beer, you'll explain just about anything.
So on Valentine's Day, I felt horrible and accepted Alan's offer of a romantic night out. Jeffrey had birthday plans with a secret someone. I have to admit that Jack had cracked me up, reasoning to his own sister that if Alan was such a fan of taking it up the rear, maybe, just maybe there was hope for him putting the moves on him after all.
I was not expecting it when Alan handed me an elegantly wrapped package in the restaurant. We were tucked in the back of Sebastian's in one of their decadently tall, private booths. I unwrapped the shiny silver and red paper to find a gold box with no marking. My belly fluttered. I loved presents. Was it some sexy bit of lace and silk to wear? Jewellery? What?
'Go on, open it!' Alan said. He seemed nearly as excited to see my reaction as I was to find out what was in my lovely golden box.
I pulled the lid off and froze. 'Oh ... Oh, um, wow, Alan. What a surprise.'
'You said cobalt blue was your favourite color,' he said, his cheeks flushed, eyes shiny.
'Yes, yes it is. You're right. Cobalt blue is my favorite colour.'
'Do you think it will fit?'
I eyed the gift up and nodded. 'I'm sure it will. It's pretty much one size fits all with some minor adjustments,' I said. I tried to put the lid on the box, but he put his hand out to stop me.
'Do you like it?'
I stared at the double dildo complete with shiny black harness. For me. To wear. I weighed my options. Part of me was mortified to find a blue double dong where I expected lingerie or jewellery to be. Part of me was curious beyond belief. And yes, I'd be a liar if I didn't admit to being a bit turned on. But also mortified, do not forget mortified.
'I ... yes?'
He nodded. 'I know it's a bit unconventional.'
Gee, ya think?
'True.'
'But I think I trust you enough to know what you know about me. And I want you to feel as good, if not better than I feel, and I thought we'd just kick it up one notch. I know you're not looking for anything serious or permanent, but I feel a connection to you, Carina.'
Uh-oh. I smiled. 'Hey, Alan,' I said, deftly changing the subject.
'Yeah?' His big eyes gleamed with happiness and titillation.
'Eat up so we can get home and I can strap this thing on.' What the hell, right?
I've never seen a man eat a steak that fast. Not even a man as big as Alan.
He had me cinched into the harness almost before the front door even shut. His big, blunt fingers pulled at my black skirt, my tiny panties. Stroking and coaxing my pussy to get wet and flower for him so he could plunge the cobalt blue dildo on my side deep into my cunt. I gasped, taking it all in as he slowly but surely pushed it deep inside. I shivered, waiting for my body to adjust. And only when I let out a long breath, did Alan start to finagle the buckle. My boots clacked the hardwood floor, for he'd left them on. Thigh high stockings, big black boots. Only my panties had been whisked away. I walked to the sofa where he was already ditching his clothes. The other big dildo stuck out before me, a dark blue perpetual erection. It tented my little black dress obscenely and I had to giggle.
'Spread those cheeks for me, big boy,' I whispered. OK, so I was getting into this. Something about having one false cock buried deep inside me while one waggled in front of me as I walked.
Alan had widened his knees where he knelt on the sofa. He handed me a bottle of lube and I started working on him with my fingers. 'You know the drill,' I said. When I shifted, I felt that a small nodule resided inside the harness too. So when I moved I was both stroked on the clit and filled by the appendage. 'Oh, God, yes. I like my present,' I said and watched his back pebble with goose bumps.
'Fuck me, Carina. Do me. Don't wait. You have me so turned on I feel like I could cry. Or punch something. Or both.'
I plunged into him, holding on for dear life as if I were the one being fucked. The dildo inside me surged up as I thrust in and so it went. Faster and faster until I came, shivering around my toy like a slut. Alan's huge hands had been at work, jerking off, clutching his balls. He balanced himself by pressing his forehead to the back sofa cushion.
I pulled out and he was up and at me like some large predator. I let out a little yell as he pulled the wet dildo from me, his hands flashing on the condom wrapper, big fingers flying. 'God, Carina, that was so fucking hot. I could love you, I think,' he said. Nonsense words, really. We're-going-to-fuck words. I-want-you-so-bad words. But just words.
Nevertheless, a spiral of fear filled my chest and my stomach rolled over with nerves. I came, hard, as he drove into me, holding my hips flush to his overstuffed sofa so I couldn't squirm or escape or hardly move. When his teeth came down on my nipple and bit me just hard enough to jump start an orgasm. I came again like a runaway train on a snowy track as sleet kissed his window glass. But after that night, I put him off and put him off and put him off. We had one night of apologies and pity sex and then Alan was gone. Good-bye February, hello, March.
'I really don't know why he has to do this to me,' my mother said.
I gaped at her. 'To you? Um, Ma, I don't think Jack is gay because of you. Or to do anything to you. I don't think that it has anything to do with you at all.'
As hard as that is to believe! She frowned, her mocha-painted lips drawing down into an unhappy arch before she caught herself and returned her face to a neutral position. 'He was perfectly fine last year.'
I rolled my eyes and sighed. 'Woman,' I said. When she glared at me, I caught myself. Too much time around Jeffrey was the problem. 'Mom,' I said, starting again. 'Jack's sexuality has zero to do with you. It's just how he's wired.'
She looked unconvinced and a bit miffed. 'As I said, he was fine a year ago.'
'He was fine. He is fine. What you mean is, he was in the closet and you were unaware of his sexual orientation.'
'Shush, you!' she said.
'What?' We walked through the mall looking for a birthday gift for Aunt Rita.
'Stop saying sexual.' My mother would Botox her face and pay for a trainer. She would host lingerie parties and even attended a sex toy party once as it was the chic thing to do, but God forbid her daughter say sexual.
Eesh.
'Sorry. OK, how about this. Your son is happy.'
'It's OK to say gay now,' she informed me.
I had to fight the urge to beat my head against the shop window. 'I mean he is happy as well as gay. As in content, satisfied, in a good place.'
She nodded sharply but her mouth was still a harsh line. 'Fine, fine. Whatever.'
Oh, my God. I just nodded to move past this ridiculous speed hump in the conversation.
'So what about you and this Alan that Jackie told me about? He said he's a huge, beastly, strapping man.'
'He is, but it's over.'
'Why? Because he chewed too long? Didn't like the same movies you like? I tell you, Carina, you are too picky. What was wrong with this one? He liked bass instead of flounder? He didn't like blue?'
'No, Mom. He liked blue too much.' It was hopeless to try and explain to her why I was laughing so hard. When we went to lunch, I met Duncan.