Beta read by Shigiya, Solitary heart and Neoalfa
.
.
.
-???-
What would one consider a curse?
A wish or a desire of someone to inflict harm to those who they loathed at their very core and those they wished to see suffer without end. A step away from death but still not considered living, a fine line between two extremes where the outcome always ended in a tragedy. One side reveling in the misery of another, cruel and unforgiving. A path very few chose even against their worst enemy.
What about the path of a corrupt soul? Going through a hellish moment of physical and mental torture done to them at every waking moment. Feeling their inside twist and turn by vile creations of another—yet still clinging to that little light in the darkness. One that offered a bright smile in their darkest hours and stopped them from becoming a monster.
What about being forced to live for a brief moment? Cursed to see one's life drain away while being powerless to change anything. Locked in a cold and dark box with no one but yourself and the life that slowly drained away. Always looking through the window at others with a fake smile hiding all the rage. Trapped in a luxurious cage for years, all alone with the knowledge of being abandoned for another.
Others had different meanings for the word.
For some, the real curse could be none other than themselves. Being the source of all the misery caused to their loved ones, they looked at with hatred and scared eyes. Reaping what they sow, the horrifying aftermath of their actions, which they had little to no control. Yet they had no one else to blame but themselves and the gods. To live secluded, praying to be forgotten and never let such tragedy happen again, by chaining down their emotions and living in permanent loneliness.
He wished to change their lives. To symbolize the hope that he would be there for them no matter how much time flew by and how far gone some of them thought themselves to be—no matter what happens. They could hate him for his actions, they could push him away all they wanted, and he would always come back with a smile.
He could see their dreams. He could feel their pain and know their fear.
To save them, he didn't want to regret anything. He wanted to make all the tragedies that happened into meaningful things by believing that his path was right. Neither would he ever ask for something in return. Simply seeing them smile would bring all the joy in the world.
"I am the bone of my sword…."
He would make it happen, no matter what obstacles came to block his way. He would make them smile, no matter who dared to intervene. His body was made of swords, and his will was straight and unwavering to the tempering of fate.
Cutting down everything…
Nothing will make him back away from the vilest to the holiest, from the weakest to the strongest.
"Steel is my body, and fire is my blood."
He was initially broken, devoid of purpose, yet given one at the end. A promise which he adhered to until now. To become a hero was his promise…
He was going to save them.
"Giving up everything to create countless swords."
Save them from themselves and others.
Save them from the twisted cogs of fate.
A war had started.
Not a war between countries, but a war between people. Where the most brutal of death was the final outcome, a tradition usually held every sixty years yet came earlier on its fifth cycle. He despised this war with every cell in his body, once that he wished never came to be, to ignore the calling… yet in a deep corner of his mind—he hesitated.
The only ones at war were seven people.
In a situation like this, the word "war" should be unsuitable, but here it was a different story as the ones in the conflict were magi and Servants
He was told there would be seven magi, each from a different faction, preparing themselves to start and compete for unknown reasons, killing each other in unknown ways—all of this just to be granted a single wish. The man who brought him in, who saved him from hell and death itself, used to be one of these people. Yet he still died alone, cursed to die a slow and painful death, yet he still managed to smile in the end, watching the moon with his son. Knowing that his dreams would be rekindled in the heart of another.
Yet even Kiritsugu couldn't have known how he had also condemned his son to a world of misery, bloodshed and pain.
But Shirou Emiya never regretted this path. It was his only one.
One that he held onto for years, never letting go.
In the end, his life was definitely…
"Unlimited Blades Works!"
-{Break}-
Fuyuki, Its name, 'Winter Tree', supposedly came from the fact that its long winter periods lasted several months. Being separated into two sections by the river Mion that can be considered two towns, Shinto and Miyama Town, which are the new and old sections of the city, respectively.
Walking through the streets leading to the traditional Japanese houses district, a young lady sighed in disappointment.
"Ha…, got scolded by the principal for being late for work, again."
She had spent too much time with her past school friends last night. A gathering which only happened once every year, one that she took advantage of, getting free booze and food. She met her senpais, kouhais, and old friends with whom she used to practice kendo.
"It wasn't Shirou's cooking, but still great. Too bad I drank too much and woke up later than usual."
Two hours later, to be more specific. That morning Taiga ran like the wind to school—after eating some food, Shirou left it wrapped on the table of his house—hoping for a miracle and not being late. Not wanting her father to have his men accompany her by car accidentally scare the entire student population with a bunch of SUVs parked at the entrance with shady-looking Yakuza people. She wanted to do this on her own and not be late. After all, being the coolest teacher in Homurahara Academy, Taiga needed to establish a good image so the younger generation could follow in her footsteps.
Yet when she arrived, her class periods were already finished, and the principal chewed her off for being late and coming to school in her pajamas!
"I didn't have time to change! It's not like these clothes were banned by the rules."
They were indeed banned.
"With some light color spray here and there, no one would notice it, and I could have continued my lessons anyways."
Her pajamas were filled with drawings of cartoonish tigers. Even some passersby gave the woman a few weird looks, which she ignored.
This day sucked, and she couldn't wait to go to Shirou's house and eat some of his divine cooking. Sakura-chan should also be present. The girl had already caught up to Shirou's cooking and surpassed him in certain areas. He taught her well, that oblivious little casanova. Only that dense brick-head could not notice the poor girl's blatant crush over him.
"She couldn't be any more obvious! How can he miss so many signs!? Have I gone wrong in raising Shirou somewhere? Maybe I showered him with too much of big sister's affection that he became oblivious to other forms of love or… is he in love with me!? Noooooo!!! Forgive me, Shirou! I'm sorry your beautiful Onee-chan made you unable to fall in love with other girls!"
The crowd around her further created a large distance between them and Taiga.
"Hai… maybe Shirou will change once he gets into high school. He is still very young, pursuing his studies in middle school, and can't be distracted by love. Still, he should have at least shown some interest in the opposite gender and not wasted his time being the freaking school janitor!"
She truly did shower him with affection since she first met the kid years ago with Kiritsugu. At first, he barely talked, always looking at her with blank eyes and barely any facial expressions. As the sole survivor of the Fuyuki fire, she knew that the boy must have been going through a lot. Losing one's memories could never be easy for anyone, let alone a little 8 years old child. Seeing someone so young with such a face broke her heart, so she did everything to return some life into those eyes.
And it worked.
Slowly. Days after days, weeks, and months passed till Shirou started acting like a normal kid again. He would talk, argue, get annoyed and laugh. He became like her surrogate brother, a sibling she always wished to have.
But then, tragedy struck the boy once again with the death of Kiritsugu. That deeply hurt her as well. She wouldn't like to say that she didn't have some interest in the older man. But she couldn't allow herself to cry. Shirou could not revert to his past self under her watch. So, she kept smiling at him to make the boy feel as if he still had a family and that he wasn't alone.
Her father even proposed for him to live with them, but Shirou denied it and said that he didn't want to abandon his father's house. Her father accepted the boy's request—much to her dismay—and let the boy live alone.
So far, things have gone smoothly, and Taiga wished for things to continue as they were.
She accidentally wandered inside a small local festival in the area in her lost thoughts. The sounds of bells ringing, vendors calling out, and the music woke Taiga up from her daze.
"Woah, where did I wander up to?"
She was sure she took the road to Shirou's house, yet she ended up here.
"I don't remember hearing of such an event happening this month."
Looking around, she couldn't see any banner or sign showing what kind of festival she had walked in.
"Hey there, young lady!"
A garapon lottery booth owner called her while waving his hand with a smile. He looked old, maybe in his sixties and with a big white beard.
"Want to try your luck and win one of my many prizes?"
He showcased a plethora of diverse prizes in the back, from simple tissue boxes, plushies, computers, and various other highly valuable prizes.
"You're still early. The festival still hasn't started yet. So as my first customer, I'll give ya a discount."
Taiga approached the man, still looking at her surroundings and trying to figure out what kind of festival was happening.
"Just what is the town celebrating today?" she asked, puzzled.
"Oh, just a small thing we put together to celebrate lantern lighting and mourning the lost souls from the fire. Many of us lost our close ones that day, so we decided to put together something for the spirit to pass on and light lanterns in their honor."
That made Taiga smile. That was a nice gesture for the dead.
That day was burnt into the memories of everyone in Fuyuki. She could even remember how her father took everyone from the Fujimura group and worked alongside the police and firefighters to battle the flames and ensure they didn't spread any further. They tried to rescue any survivors but failed to find anyone. Kiritsugu saving the young Shirou was a miracle in itself.
"How long will this last?"
"Hm…," the owner stopped and thought for a bit. "Originally, we planned for a single day, but from the butt load of donations we kept getting today, there is speculation of extending it for a few more days. But we still need to confirm and get permission from the local authorities."
"No problem, I can try to help out as well!"
Her father could have a word with the mayor and convince the man with such a simple request.
"Oh, and how much for a round with the garapon?"
"ÂĄ500"
Too much!
"Oi, I thought you were giving me a discount!" she yelled at the man. "And what kind of price is that!? It should be ÂĄ100 or even ÂĄ200!"
Put off by the intimidating aura of the angered Tiger, the owner tried to placate Taiga and said that it was just a joke and he would let her do it for free. Though feeling a bit bad, Taiga also promised to donate to the festival, which made the man happy.
"Now, spin the wheel and win a prize! A white ball means you get a simple tissue. A red ball will get you a plushie of your choice—all the way to the golden ball, which will be a surprise!"
"Yosha!"
Pumped with adrenaline, Taiga furiously twirled the wooden garapon, so much so that she nearly broke the handle and made the entire booth shake—much to the owner's shock.
"Ora! Ora! Ora!"
After a few intense seconds, Taiga stopped and waited for a ball to fall. Her eyes shone in anticipation of her prize. She hoped to win something valuable, like that computer over there, she could give to Shirou on his birthday. Or that cute snake plush for Sakura-chan.
The sound of a metal ball hitting the pan was heard, and to Taiga's shock, it was…
Ding! Ding! Ding!
"Congratulations on getting a golden ball and winning our most coveted prize!"
"Oh, what is it!? A car? A scooter? Or an onsen vacation?"
Any of those would be something she would be happy to get. Especially the last one, she wouldn't mind getting a few days off and relaxing in a hot spring. She enjoyed her job as a teacher but wouldn't mind getting a break from time to time.
"Nope, even better!" the old owner said with a smile.
"You win a seven days vacation cruise along the coast of Greece and the Greek islands. Tickets will be included for you and a special someone. This is a honeymoon journey, which I'm sure you and your significant other will enjoy!"
Taiga's expression suddenly stilled as her body froze in shock.
One thing to know about the Tiger of Fuyuki, even while being a local idol in the past with her feet while in school as a skilled kendo practitioner. Many idolized her, and some said that her name would have become famous across Japan—if not for the tiger strap on her shinai, which got her disqualified from nationals everytime.
Still, no one in Fuyuki didn't know her or her family.
Yet…
Despite all of this popularity…
She was single as heck.
A Christmas Cake…
"Waaaaahhhhh!!!" she cried out loud with fat globs of tears running down her face, frightening the old man again.
"Whyyyyyyy!?"
Taiga questioned the heavens above on why not a single boy ever tried to confess to her! Not once did she get a single love letter in her shoebox, not even a simple request for a date or karaoke even once! Well, the reason was simple.
Every single boy back in her class feared her.
Or rather, they feared the Yakuza that threatened to disembowel them if any sort of harm came to their little miss. Not even the police could save the poor souls if they did something to upset her. The only person intimidating them instead was none other than Kiritsugu, who they didn't mind Taiga having a crush on, because he didn't show interest in her in that way, and also because he scared them. Of course, Taiga never knew about this little detail and assumed the boys didn't find her attractive enough to ever ask her out.
"E-eh, a-are you alright?"
The owner asked the crying Taiga on the ground.
"Did the prize not please you? I thought teenagers like you would enjoy such things."
She was still in her pajamas and not her regular teacher suit, causing him to mistake her age.
"First of all, thank you for the compliment. Secondly, I don't have a boyfriend!"
"Oh, then just take anyone else with you. A friend or a sibling if you have like a bro—"
"—SHIROU!"
Her eyes widened in surprise as she finally decided on who to bring with her. Not wasting any more time, Taiga got up and ran so fast that she left a trail of smoke behind her. The old man was flabbergasted at the scene before shrugging and returning to his booth, not realizing the profound change he brought to the lives of many by letting Taiga participate in his lottery.
-{Break}-
.
.
.
He was having the same dream again—a nightmare, more accurately, of a burning field.
Visions of red fire filled his surroundings. Everything burned, burning everything, from the ground to the sky, from the air to his flesh. His ears filled with the scream of hundreds of poor souls, calling for help, for a savior, yet none would come to save them. They called him, begging for help, desperately needing his aid to save them or their children. Their voices filled with fear, anguish, and despair. The familiar town had turned to ashes, and it looked like the remains of a battlefield from a movie.
But he didn't listen to any of them, choosing to close his ears to their plight and keep walking.
The young boy with red hair and amber-colored eyes that reflected the flames around him kept moving forward. He chose to keep himself alive, his ultimate act of selfishness, slowly breaking him from the inside as he saw half-charred figures of people extending their hands towards him. They were willing to give anything to the boy if he could just save them.
He couldn't do it. Shirou Emiya just averted his eyes and kept walking, never looking back. He felt that since he survived, to live on.
The redhead boy continued walking aimlessly because it would have been dangerous just to stay there. The flames would have killed him, just like the rest.
At one point, he stopped caring, no longer concerned about getting burned up like the people lying around him. Probably because he did not want to be like them over and above, he possessed a stronger feeling in his mind to survive.
But there was no hope.
The need to be saved vanished. It crumbled into pieces the longer he walked. No one would come for him. This was pointless. He would die… he wasn't going to survive. Whatever happened, he wouldn't be able to escape from this burning world.
It was such an absolute hell that even a small child could understand.
The Great Fire of Fuyuki really felt like it came directly from the underworld itself. They cursed their surroundings with malice, a curse that would burn his skin and soul. There was no escaping this evil entity. Everyone and everything was trapped in its vile claws. The more he walked forward, the more he was forced to break parts of himself and leave them to be consumed by the fire.
He could no longer remember friends or even the school he had attended.
His parents' faces became increasingly blurry, not that it mattered as they would have most likely been dead at this point.
His name… what was his name again? The red moon in the sky illuminated his surroundings further with the fire and kept destroying more of his past self.
Live, survive. Those were the only words resonating inside his mind. The inferno called him closer to his death yet kept persisting. Just like everyone else, he wanted to be saved. Yet his legs could only carry him so far. A large part of his skin was already damaged by severe burns.
Slowly, the fire died down with the sun rising on the horizon. The tall wall of flame shortened, and most buildings had fallen. The people who had cried for help had turned to ashes, leaving not even their bones behind.
It felt strange, being the only thing in that place still had its original form. His two arms still functioned properly, and his legs, though injured, still continued walking. He was the only one still alive. His luck must have really been a major factor, or his house was built in a very lucky spot. That didn't stop his parents from dying along with the others, whoever his mom and dad were.
He collapsed.
Was it because there was no air? Was it because no function was left in his body? It made no difference. He fell and faced the cloudy sky dyed in black and red. The dark clouds loomed overhead, telling him it would rain soon.
'That's good. The fire will be put out once it rains.'
He sighed.
Everything hurt.
Breathing hurt and moving just a bit brought an unbelievable amount of pain, like having thousands of ants biting his skin.
He sighed again deeply and looked up at the sky.
To survive and let his body continue breathing, he had to sacrifice something. A critical part of his being which he had to let go.
His heart.
But then… a true miracle happened.
A figure loomed over him, a man. With spiky black hair and a burned suit, he looked at him with eyes that would become engraved in his mind for eternity.
Joy
True happiness.
Tears welled up inside them and fell on his cheeks.
Why was the man so happy? He had no reason to be.
"Finally, finally, I saved someone!"
The man cried as he took the boy's burned hand between his palms. Crying in gratitude for finally being able to save someone.
Oh, so that was why he was so happy because he saved someone.
'Can I, one day, become as happy as him?'
His vision dimmed, exhaustion setting in. The last thing he remembered seeing was the man taking out something with a golden sheen and for the light to disappear as soon as it appeared.
.
.
.
The chirping birds woke an older-looking Shirou Emiya from his slumber. Sleeping in an empty room with a minimalist design and decoration, the now 15 years old boy slowly opened his eyes.
"That dream again."
A dream he had kept having since childhood, since that fateful day. A memory he could never forget. In the past, Kiritsugu would give him pills to help him with the nightmares. But now…
"Time for school," he said, deciding to put this matter back in his mind.
It had been two years since Kiritsugu died from his illness, leaving to Shirou everything he owned—including the house. He remembered the time spent with his father, including when his father revealed his identity as a Magus. Aside from being an atrocious cook, Kiritsugu always took great care of him. He was a great father but a terrible teacher. On many occasions, Shirou pleaded with the man to teach him about magecraft, but the man was difficult to convince.
To be a Magus is to walk with Death.
A point his father repeatedly tried to instill in his mind, he showed the boy how dangerous such a life could be and that he was better off staying a normal boy and living a peaceful life. But Shirou couldn't accept. He couldn't accept that someone like him deserved a peaceful life when so many died because he could have saved them.
In the end, Kiritsugu relented.
Even when the boy managed to convince Kiritsugu, he discovered that he lacked any real talent in the first place. His weakest point of the three is only being capable of performing simple spells like Structural analysis, Projection, and Reinforcement.
But he would continue to practice, to turn his nerves into makeshift circuits and feel the pain of what felt like a red-hot metal bar pressed against his spine. The pain nearly overwhelmed him initially, but he managed to force himself through it with nothing but the sheer stubborn desire to become a capable Magus and help people with his abilities.
That was how it went for a few months till he one day wanted to showcase his progress to his father. He wanted to show the old man that hard work would keep him standing despite lacking talent.
To say that it went badly would be an understatement.
-(Flashback)-
Sitting inside the dojo on the tatami-covered floor, Shirou faced his father in his morning kimono. He called him during the afternoon, but his father still looked weak, even after sleeping for more than 8 hours. He noticed how his father would get weaker each month. The scene worried him a lot on the inside.
"Are you still having those nightmares, Shirou?" Kiritsugu asked as he prepared a new batch of pills using his magecraft.
Though his circuits were getting weaker with time and the curse slowly destroyed his body, he could still use them, if just barely.
"No, I'm fine, old man." he stated that his father noticed how excited his son looked today. "You look happy. Did something happen?"
Lately, Shirou gave him a bit of peace and quiet after he agreed to teach the boy some magecraft.
He had made sure to not teach him the correct way, wanting him to struggle and basically give up on that path. The last thing he wanted was for Shirou to become like him, to follow in his footsteps and experience the same tragedy. He couldn't bear such a reality, thus choosing to purposefully hinder his son's training with false practice.
"I made some huge progress on my Reinforcement and wanted to show it to you!" he exclaimed jubilantly.
Kiritsugu chuckled at his son's attitude but worried on the inside after hearing the boy still practicing what little he had taught him.
"Go on then, show me."
Shirou grabbed a piece of branch and placed it in front of him before going into a seated position and closing his eyes. Kiritsugu quirked his eyebrows at the boy's action but stayed patient and continued to observe.
Shhhh…
A few seconds later, the boy started to groan in pain. His skin turned a deep red color while smoke started coming off his body. The temperature around him rose, and this action chilled the Magus Killer's heart and jumped off the floor and grabbed his son by the shoulder to stop whatever madness he was about to commit.
"What are you doing!?" he screamed in anger, feeling the heat from Shirou's body hurting his hands but not caring about it.
He had a faint guess on this but was too scared to be certain of it.
"Eh?"
The boy looked at him in confusion.
"I'm creating new magic circuits."
Magic circuits?
NEW magic circuits!?
"No! Why… why are you doing that?"
The only way he could have done that was by burning his nerves. This idea horrified the father to no end. His heart nearly stopped after knowing that he was almost about to see the death of his son.
"How long… how long have you been doing this…" he asked.
All Magi, in order to use their magic circuits for the first time, needed to activate their nerve circuits first. After the mental trigger had been established, they would practice switching to their natural magic circuits and no longer risk their lives every time using magecraft. That was the first step he imparted to Shirou, but he did not go further with the switching part.
'I expected him to give up after the initial pain, not continue practicing it regardless!'
Just how stubborn was he!?
His hands shaking, his voice breaking at the revelation that this was all his fault.
"Umm, for a year or two, I guess. Since you taught me how to do it. The beginning was painful, but I managed to get used to the pain and am one step closer to becoming an official Magus!"
The words of his son hit him in the heart.
He almost once again became responsible for the death of one of his family members. Shirou and Illya were the only ones he had left in this world…
No.
He wouldn't let it happen.
He fixed his gaze with Shirou's, giving him a serious look. "Listen to me. What you are doing is wrong. It's not the way a Magus would use their magic circuits."
"But you told me—"
"—Forget everything I ever taught you!"
He couldn't lose him as well.
"I want you to promise me… promise me to never use your nerves as makeshift circuits EVER in the future. I will show you the right way to do it."
The boy was lost on why his father suddenly got so angry. But he didn't mind it and nodded with enthusiasm once again.
It took him years to realize why his father reacted so strongly that day. What he used to do was considered the closest thing to suicide for all Magi. It was a miracle that he hadn't fried himself internally within the three months he used to practice in creating nerve circuits.
He later found out that he had 27 natural magic circuits. Being allegedly born in a non-magi family—at least that's the conclusion both father and son came to—it was a miracle or even an aberration that he was born with more circuits than your average 20 Magus.
Kiritsugu found this revelation to be both fascinating and worrying. It meant that his son would become further bound to the Moonlight world than he initially thought.
A true rollercoaster that event ended up being.
(Flashback end)
-{Break}-
The sound of meat sizzling filled the room. When Shirou came out of his bedroom, he found none other than a familiar bluehead girl inside his kitchen.
"You don't usually sleep after school." she said with a gentle smile on her face. "Good evening, Senpai."
"Ah, yes. Good morning, Sakura."
Sakura smiled and nodded as if accustomed to this situation. Gah, his head was still dozing, and he mistakenly said morning instead.
"It's fine. You were up late last night again, right? You should be careful and not doze off during class. I'll get dinner ready."
It was not like he could help it.
Shirou spent hours yesterday practicing his magecraft and Projection in the shed. The shed was built on the edge of the yard, and just as it seemed, it was a warehouse where he and his father used to put all their junk.
But for him, it was a place of treasures as he enjoyed messing with things from a young age.
Kiritsugu never allowed him to enter the shed while training his magecraft, but he always sneaked in. As a result, it became his base—you could even call that place his actual room.
The big Emiya household never suited his taste, and he could only relax in that space full of junk.
When practicing his Projection in the shed, he felt he had encountered a roadblock for the latter but couldn't figure out the next step… like he was missing something crucial.
Bzzt!
His head throbbed a bit, with glimpses of a hazy field of some kind coming up to his mind. He kept having these flashes for the last few months and could never figure out what they meant. He would, at some point, see a hill or even swords but remained clueless about their true meaning.
"Give me a second," some water on his face would do some good.
"I heard Fujimura-sensei was late again today."
"That's how Fuji-nee is, I even left her breakfast this morning." he said, shaking his head at Taiga's relaxed attitude.
He warned her not to drink last night during the gathering, and it seemed she didn't listen.
Suddenly, both heard footsteps coming closer to the door at high speed. As if someone was running straight at them.
Sakura smiled, "I guess the hungry tiger has finally arrived."
The door opened with a loud bang, nearly breaking it into pieces.
There stood an exhausted and sweating Taiga in her pajamas, holding what looked like two tickets of some kind.
"Shirou! You're coming on a honeymoon with me!"
"Eh?"
Both occupants became dumbfounded, and Shirou nearly choked on his glass of water.
"What!?" he exclaimed in shock and confusion with a blush adorning his face along with Sakura.
What the heck did Fuji-nee say!?
--------------
The next 5 chapters of Snafu, Harry Potter and my 2 Fate fics (+3 chapters for Fate Coiling Sword) are already available on my P@treon. With 4 more Broly chapters at /NimtheWriter.