JULY
"WHAT THE HELL did you do, Juls?"
I heard her but I couldn't answer right away.
I'm an idiot. Idiot. Because that's also the question I am asking myself.
What the fuck just happened? What did I do? What the fucking bullshit happened?
"I begged and convinced father so you could meet with Natalia, but what did you do? Fuck! The queen of the ocean will punish you for what you did, the president will punish you, and worse, Natalia will get mad at you!" Ruby walked back and forth in the bedroom as I was stunned in the corner of the bed where I did the also unbelievable 'beastly act' I did to Natalia. Natalia. My dearest Natalia.
F-U-C-K! What am I doing?
Ruby was very angry. Her voice was still trembling as she detailed the consequences of what I had done to the president's daughter.
What did I do?
I don't even know what really happened to me. I mean, I was there when I did that to Natalia, mentally, but I wasn't there physically. So messed up, right? Yeah, I'm also confused by what I'm thinking. I still can't accept that I've hurt my beloved Luna.
"Juls?"
"Juls?" I heard her. Oh yes, I do, but I really don't know what to say to her. I was still trembling from what happened earlier.
'Juls, we messed up. What happened to us?' I know what you mean, Wolf. I'm not sure either.
I wiped my face at the thought of why that had happened. All I know is that there was something off with me earlier. I was present, but I'm not really present. Shit! I need to fix this. ASAP.
'Clarification. 'We' need to fix this.' My wolf implied.
Yes, wolf. We need to fix this. Let's start by being calm and let's think about what happened.
Ruby was still talking when my wolf and I were thinking and assessing what happened earlier. Actually, what I really want to do now is go to Natalia, but I'm also worried that she might not want to see me because of what happened. And then I remember those looks in her eyes that she gave me a while ago. The fear in her eyes looking at me earlier, while I was making that 'monstrous act' to her, can't be erased from my mind.
Ugh!
'I'm sorry, Juls. I don't know how that happened. I'm sorry, I was not able to help you control the situation,' My wolf said.
'It's okay, wolf. Let's just figure out what exactly happened to us. This is so strange, right? Are you still hiding your real strength from me, wolf?' I asked her.
Don't be surprised, folks. Talking with my wolf, or what other people call me, was like talking to myself, which is normal. This was not just my inner self, but my true form.
'No. I know we are not fully in wolf mode yet, but I'm not a monster, Juls. Though you will discover our new strengths in the long run, but that 'thing' earlier, I assure you, that was not me,' my wolf explained.
I thought even more about what my wolf said. She is correct. She has a point there. Now, if it's not me or my wolf, is it possible that there is a third party?
'What do you mean as a third party, Juls?'
Wolf, I'm thinking that something or someone…
"Juls? Hey?" My wolf and I were engrossed in deep thought when I felt Ruby shake my shoulder. Err. She is still there. "Are you okay?" She must have finished her 'sermon' based on the concern in her eyes now. She's staring at me now.
How beautiful this woman is! I think if I hadn't met Natalia, we would have had a chance together. But yeah, my mate is Natalia, and Ruby is in love with that stupid, crazy princess of mermaids. I don't even want to mention the name of that mad princess. But anyway, going back to the "feelings" thing, I wonder if that crazy princess is blind because she can't see that she's so lucky with Ruby just in case she will give her a chance.
"Juls?" Ruby called my name again. I didn't realize that I was just staring at her while she was asking me if I was okay.
"Yep? Yeah, I'm okay," I replied, straining to smile.
Then I heard her sigh, a deep sigh, and she sat down next to me.
"I just wasted my saliva here earlier," she said.
"Huh?" I asked, pretending to not know what she meant. I know she's not dumb, but you know, it's human nature to pretend even if we are caught in the act.
"I know you are not listening to me. I am nagging you here, but your mind is flying somewhere with your wolf."
See? She's also an intelligent woman, but a bit stupid when it comes to love.
"Hey? Why are you looking at me like that?" Oops, am I looking too much? The princess became conscious. She's already blushing. She's so cute.
'Eff, Juls? Are you having a crush on the princess of Faerie Landia?'
Fuck, no!
"Juls, that's creepy." What the hell! Why am I always zoning out?
"Sorry," I looked away so she wouldn't call me creepy anymore. It was very awkward. Me? Creep? I am not! "I'm okay, promise," I added.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"But you seem to not."
"Am I that transparent?"
She laughed softly. "Not really." Not really. Is she insisting I'm not okay? "But to set your expectations, I can read people's minds."
What the?! Did she have that ability?
"Weh?"
She just nodded as if to say, 'That's right, motherfucker!'
She shrugged and said, "Your wolf thinks that you weren't the one who did the "beastly act" earlier. That you both can't do that. Your wolf is telling you that even if your strength isn't fully grown, she can't do that to Natalia, and she's telling you that she's not a monster. "
"Okay, that was a total creep," I exclaimed, "but that was... cool!"
Amazing! Ruby can read thoughts!
"I know, right." Then she clicked her tongue. She's so cute. "And what do you expect, we're supernatural, Juls. Isn't there anyone in your pack who can read thoughts?"
I tried to remember. "There is," I answered after a while, "but he can't read thoughts. He can see the future instead. That's Andres, my younger brother." Aww, I missed him. I missed my pack and my family.
"Interesting. They have the same supernatural ability as my Aunt Clef."
Cool.
Silence.
"Back to your thoughts, you were thinking that there was a third party." It's a good thing she mentioned that, so my brain came back to thinking about that again.
"Hmm… yeah." I nodded. "I felt like I wasn't there. I mean, I'm there mentally but not physically. I can't control my strength. My thoughts say that I shouldn't do that, but my body does something different. I felt that I was trapped in myself. I couldn't do much because my mind and body don't sync. That was so strange."
Ruby is just listening sincerely, but I know she's also thinking based on the meeting of her eyebrows.
"Is this the first time this has happened to you and your wolf?" she asked.
I nodded. "Even when I'm in wolf mode, my wolf and I still sync. We're just one, and we fight as one. Even when I was just training, I didn't have a separation between my thoughts and body, especially with my wolf. We're a team. But that 'thing' happened earlier is... not so... us." Yes, I have said that a few times, but that is the truth. That was not so us.
"Hmmmm... I understand. I think I know what happened here, but let me just clarify these things to someone first before I conclude," she said, and when I looked at her, I saw the pain in her eyes. Is that emotion that I felt true or was it just my imagination? And Ruby looks so distressed.
"Tell me, Rub. What do you know?" I insisted. Of course, she knows something. Look at her face. There are traces of confusion on her face, and she can't look at me anymore.
"Let me confirm it first, Juls. I need to talk to someone." She stood up and walked away, but I held her hand before she could get away.
"No," I said, interrupting her. "Tell me who did this." Who? Yes, who? She mentioned 'someone' and not 'it'. Who is this asshole messing up with me?
'Are you thinking what I am thinking, B1?'
I think so, wolf. I think so.
"I--"
"No, tell me."
"I-i don't want to assume. I need to confirm this first." Ruby's hard-headed, but I am more hard-headed than she.
"Does that crazy psychotic mermaid have anything to do with this?" I think you know who I'm talking about.
Ruby didn't say a word. She was looking down and avoiding looking at me.
"Tell me, Rub." I put more pressure on the grip on her hand.
I saw her wince, so I loosened my grip on her a bit. I seem to be becoming sadistic. I hate this, but I'm so desperate for answers. I don't want to face Natalia without fixing this. I'm willing to take all the consequences if there's really no 'someone' involved, but I have a strong feeling that there is 'someone' involved.
"Ruby... Tell me. Does that mad princess have anything to do with this? Tell me---"
"Hello!" Someone interrupted. I let go of Ruby's hand and at the same time looking at the intruder. "July Mercado, right?" the person who had just entered asked. "We haven't been introduced properly." I was mesmerized. The woman that came in is really beautiful. "I'm Evangeline Damian, but you can call me Ev." I just nodded at her while looking at her smiling face. I was stunned. Whew, she looks so familiar. And her name, I think I heard it somewhere. Except for when I heard it yesterday when her crazy princess sister mentioned her name, but really, her name and face are so familiar. "Nice to meet you, properly," she added and hugged me.
How---? Her speed. I didn't notice that she was in front of me that quickly.
"N-nice to meet you, too," I answered awkwardly.
She had slipped from my embrace and she was still smiling. I'm shy. It's as if I'm a filthy creature compared to her. She looked so royal. I could feel her aura. She is very strong and authoritative, but she still appears refreshing and friendly in comparison to that bitchy.
"I'm here to personally apologize for my sister's foolishness," Ev said.
I just nodded. What should I say? I'd rather be silent as I might even throw an insult at her crazy sister.
'You already kept insulting the crazy princess earlier.' At least we were the only ones who could hear and not her sister. 'That's true, though!'
"She's not like that. I was surprised when I learned from Ruby that she was engaged to someone without us knowing. She doesn't hide such things from us." I just stared at her intently. When I think about what that madman did, I get hypertension. I simply clenched my fist that didn't escape Ev's view. "But don't worry, Juls. I'll make sure my sister doesn't bother you anymore."
I believe her. She looked very confident. She's a queen anyway, and why would she compromise her words if she could not keep them?
"Thank you," I replied, forcing a smile.
I'm still not fully happy because, yes, Ev here assured me that her crazy sister won't bother us anymore, but the damage has been done and something else happened last night that I don't know how to deal with Natalia and explain to her that I did not try to hurt her. I also have a lot of what ifs.
1) What if I'm really that someone, I mean wolf and I, so Natalia's life will always be in great danger because of that unmanaged 'anger'?
2) What if there is a monster inside of me that is hidden? What will happen to the people around me?
3) What if I'm the villain in this story, and because this is my point of view, of course, I'm just washing my hands and playing the victim?
Nahhh... I'm the main character here, right? So, anything is possible. Yeah, right.
I said, "Question." Ev nodded. I first glanced at Ruby, who was still avoiding my gaze, and then I asked, "How about earlier? Do you know what happened?"
Ev just stared at me for a few seconds before she nodded. I was suddenly nervous because of her reaction.
"That's one of the reasons why I'm here." Now the queen looks more serious than earlier. I was even more nervous. I do not know why. "Come with me. I'll show you something," she added, holding out her hand. For a moment, I looked back and forth at her face and her outstretched hand.
I'm fighting with myself because I don't know why my trust issues suddenly arose. She's the sister of that crazy mermaid anyway. What if she salvages me so that her crazy sister can really marry my dearest Natalia?
Yes, I believed her words earlier, but should I trust her fully?