The soft bed felt like a cloud beneath me. My eyelids fluttered, lashes sweeping up as they opened, eyes darting around. The room was warm. The light not too bright. I wasn't at home nor was this the Salvatore house. Where was I? I turned my head to my right, wincing lightly. Rebekah sat beside me, beaming. "You're awake. How are you feeling?" She assisted me with sitting up. I scanned around. It was her room.
"What happened?"
"Nik kidnapped you." She frowned, her eyes apologetic. "Freya had a vision that witches will use you to take our family down."
I stared at her at a loss for words. Letting out a deep sigh, I sat up straight. "As much as I despise Klaus...I don't think I could hurt your family. Oddly enough, Klaus turning me did me a favour...I'm angry at him but for some reason my heart and every part of me doesn't want to hurt you. I don't know why the witches would want me. I would have known surely...where's Stefan? He came back to save me..." I didn't want to ask but the words vomited themselves out.
"He's downstairs with Damon, waiting to take you home. They're having a... friendly chat with my family downstairs. Kol...blood shared with you, and it sparked some controversy-"
"What do you mean?" Confusion aroused within me. What did she mean?
"Blood sharing between vampires is...sacred and intimate. So, you can imagine what your brothers and Nik...felt."
I fiddled with my fingers, my face flushing red. "I-i... didn't know about that. He saved me." Why would he blood share with me? What was between us? What did it mean for us?
Noticing my internal conflict, she distracted me with talk. We spoke about Freya and Klaus and for once I understood Klaus. I knew about all that their family went through back in New Orleans and people they've lost. He loved his family and whatever he did was for them. The irony it posed. The man I thought he was and knew him...I recalled what Rebekah mentioned earlier about Kol.
"Rebekah...what did you mean earlier, back at my house about Kol?"
"The dreams you've been having were from Kol. He's been there for you and believe me, I am just as shocked as you. Whatever he did, for once was not for selfish reasons. My brother cares about you. What happened with Matt was tragic but, in his head, he believed he was protecting you."
"I don't understand him. I don't know him."
"I think he cares...he was with you, showing you the dreams while you slept. That first night was him too...we fixed your house. Now don't go telling my brother I told you." She chuckled.
"Thank you, Rebekah." I reached out towards her for a hug. She made me feel safe. I didn't know how or why. All I knew was, I trusted her, and she grew on me. The night of the Mikaelson ball was where our friendship blossomed. I caught a glimpse of Stefan standing by the doorway. Seeing him brought a mixture of emotions. The internal conflict grew.
"Can I come in?" He asked, knocking gently. Rebekah turned to me, and I gave her a nod. With a smile she got to her feet and sauntered to the door. "I'll leave you to it. Good luck." She whispered to Stefan, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.
He walked in closer, slightly hesitant. His wounds had healed, yet he appeared worn out. "How are you?"
"I'm good! Thank you but, why would you save me after everything I did?" I could barely look him in the face. I still despised him; his face was unboreable to look at.
He sat down beside me on the bed, wanting to take my hand in his but he stopped himself. "Because you're family and I will protect you no matter what...even if you hate me. I did the same for Damon and I would do it for you." His words cut through me. I felt my heart soften; the walls break as he smiled at me. His smile, warming and full of love. Gritting my teeth, I turned away from him. It didn't matter what he did now, he took everything from me, and I could never forgive him.
"So what, you think saving me would earn you forgiveness?" I scoffed hard. "Nothing could ever make me want to forgive you. I may not be able to kill you but stay away from me. You killed my brother Enzo..."
He was always the one to calm me down and make me see sense. After he died all that rage came flooding back and knowing who was responsible made me that much more furious. I trailed off, letting myself wander off, into the depths of my mind, mentally separating myself from Stefan.
September, 2005
Oxford, England
I groaned as he barged through the door. "I thought I got rid of you?"
He chuckled. "You can't get rid of me gorgeous. Besides I like being an older brother."
"Shouldn't you be with Damon, helping him look for Stefan?" I rummaged through the old, tattered and beaten books. I threw it to the floor then picked up the second on the pile of unending books. Furiously flicking through the pages. "I swear there is nothing in any of these damn books about a Klaus Mikaelson! Literally nothing! I am sick and tired of perusing these books!"
"Do you need a hand?" He offered clearly bemused at my plight and the carnage around me.
"Does it look like I need help!" I snapped, huffing, and puffing, my nose flaring up.
"Do you really want me to answer that, or would you like to maintain plausible deniability for later?"
I scowled. "You're hardly useful and you're mocking me."
He entered the room with light footsteps. I watched as he inspected the books, running his index finger down the spines and shaking his head, laughing to himself. "You won't find anything in these. I suspect, whoever this man is, likes to keep a low profile and only comes out when he pleases. Why don't you just drop it?"
I slammed the current book shut. The dust particles floated up into the air. "You know very well that I can't let this go. If you're not going to be useful, you know where the door is-" I gestured. "You can see yourself out! Good day!"
Rolling his eyes, he joined my side and flipped open a book, hardly looking at the contents. "Look, you need to relax. We've spent days searching and had little luck. This Klaus obviously moves around. Do you think killing him will bring you any peace? Will it change anything?" He sat me down on the chair and poured me a glass of water. I watched as university students hurried up and down the library floors. They were engrossed in their own affairs to pay heed to me. I took the glass of cold water and took a few sips. It seemed to extinguish that anger and heat.
I exhumed a sigh. "I don't want to kill him; I want to kill his friend. I don't know what I'll feel. I'm just so angry!"
He pulled out another chair and sat across me. Taking my hands, he gave them a gentle squeeze. "You're blinded by rage. It's not going to do you any good. The rage will eat you up and destroy you. It's already hooked itself onto you. Let it go for now and see how you feel. Live your life. Do something that will bring you joy. Don't let the rage consume you. I've got you. I'm here!"
"I'm scared. If I let it go, won't that mean I'm betraying my family?"
He smiled softly. "No. You're not betraying anyone. You need to put yourself first, your own peace of mind. You are by far better than any of us, even the humans. You've got a big heart, you're generous, caring and forgiving. You bring us peace. Damon calls you his salvation and I agree with him. You are an amazing woman. It pains me to see you destroy yourself."
I took a shaky breath. "I'll try to let it go."
He leaned back in the chair. "It won't be easy, but you take each day as it comes. Think of something you'd like to accomplish..." He gave me a moment to think before I answered.
"I really want to teach students of all ages! I love English and I love reading and if I could, I'd be a teacher."
"Not could. You can. And you will do it."
"Do what?" Damon asked, strolling in with a mischievous grin on his face.
"Our sister wants to teach." Enzo replied beaming. He was the proud brother.
Damon's expression softened. "You can do anything you want, and we'll stand by you."
"Thank you, brothers." I glanced back at the pile of books then back to Enzo. His words echoed in my mind.
Present
"He always said you would save me no matter what and that I would love you so much more than I did now. Sad to say, he was wrong on this!"
"I'm really sorry. My humanity was off, and I didn't think twice about what I was doing. If I could take it back I would." His face twisted with anguish and those forest green eyes were down and heavy with remorse. "1922, my humanity was off, and I went on another ripper bender. Saying sorry isn't enough but I will spend eternity making it up to you."
"I don't care if your humanity was on or off! You made your bed, now lay in it!"
Kill him. Kill him. Kill him. Returned the snake like whispers of my dead family. I shut my eyes and squeezed them tightly. The voices grew louder and forceful. "Are you okay?" Stefan's voice broke through. The whisperings ceased.
"I'm fine...I'm tired." I watched as he stood up.
"I have something for you, hopefully it will help you understand and maybe you'll try to be okay with me..." He reached behind him and presented an old, worn-out journal. Turning through the pages he came to a stop after the twenty sixth flick. The journal was pushed towards me; for some time, I hesitated then took it in my hands.
September 29th, 1922
Dear diary
Everything came crashing back after I turned it on. I have never felt more shame and remorse in my life than I do today. The events of the 15th plague my mind. What I did to the Harrington family was unacceptable. I try telling myself that they were a bad pair; both were having an affair. The husband kept his wife as a trophy and fooled around with others and so did the wife. She wasn't as innocent as she appeared. I know I can't use that as an excuse, I had my humanity off and I didn't care about right or wrong.
Slamming the journal shut, I refused to continue reading. "You have got to be kidding me! Did you think this would make me forget everything? So what if my parents were unfaithful? Like you said, your humanity was off, and you didn't care about anything so don't care now!" I didn't want to know anything new. What I knew was sufficient.
Throwing the duvet off me, climbing out of bed, and discarding of the journal I stormed out with Stefan following closely behind. Reaching the staircase, I slowed down my pace. Running my fingers along the stair rail, slowly descending down the steps. Damon appeared at the end, pulling me into a hug once I reached the bottom step. "I'm okay big brother." I smiled weakly, wrapping my arms around him tighter. "I'm sorry for everything and how I reacted...I want to go home...take me home." A wave of relief washed over me as my eyes landed on Kol's. My heart raced at his penetrating gaze. I wanted to run into his arms, to be held by him. Seeing him brought to light the night of our first kiss. Thank you. I mouthed. He gave a gentle nod. Damon and Stefan weren't too enthused by the looks being exchanged between us. I stepped back as Klaus slid in, blocking Kol from my sight.
"I do apologise for the indiscretions but I'm sure you're aware...considering my little sister filled you in."
"It's fine Klaus. Goodbye." I ripped my eyes away from him and walked off, with Damon and Stefan rushing after me.
London
July 19th, 1913
We sat at the top of Greenwich hill. It was steep and overlooked the observatory on the left and the River Thames trailed down on the right. A year before the First World War broke out. It was the calm before the storm. Talks and preparation for the war were taking place, striking fear amongst the British. We knew we were safe despite the impending doom that loomed over us. Hunter rests his head on my shoulder. We spoke of life, the future. He spoke about the girl he fancied but I objected hard. She wasn't a nice thing. In fact, she had been volatile. A mean little thing. She despised of me for reasons unknown. For a little girl she possessed such negative feelings. I rolled my eyes as he described her to be as pretty as a flower. The poor soul. Lovesick he was. The mere age of ten yet he liked to think himself a big, strong man that would take on the world. We stared out at the sunset. It was merely a prelude to dawn, yet the majesty of it filled my heart with warmth. The orange gold stretched far and wide, its reflection dancing on the river. Despite the manmade changes made around us, nature was untouchable, unchanging, and eternal.
"Sister, promise that no matter what may come our way, our bond will always remain strong till the end of time? You won't let the Nazis get us."
"Hunter my dear brother, I will always stand by your side. I will protect you no matter what. I promise. The Nazis won't get us. They can't touch us. We'll be safe."
"Promise?"
"I promise till the day I die Hunter! Your big sister will fight off the devil for you. I will go hell and back for you! But only if you eat your vegetables!"
"I promise from today I will finish all my veggies!"
"Now, that's a good young man." I pulled him in close, ruffling his light brown, curly hair. He wrestled free.
"Race you to the bottom!" He teased as he ran off getting a head start.
"Be careful!" I called out, running down after him.
Present day
You promised. You promised...
I jolted awake. It was Hunter. I looked around. We were still in the car. Stefan had his hand on my shoulder. "Are you okay? We're almost home. You fell asleep."
You promised. You promised. The whispers stretched on, the voice hanging on each word. Uneasiness washed over me. It was unsettling. Stefan's smile vanished when I shrugged his hand off. "I'm fine...just exhausted."
The car rolled into the driveway, slowing down until the engine cut off. We arrived. I looked up at my new home. I wasn't sure if I wanted to stay here permanently but I knew there were things I had to face and come to terms with. Stefan. The witches and their sinister plans...what Stefan disclosed about my adoptive parents. How did I really feel about Stefan? Why was the anger slowly dissolving? I would face them and deal with it. Just like Enzo had said.
"You deal with it face to face. Don't run, don't hide. No matter how painful it is, you deal with it." He squeezed my hand. "Listen to your heart. Do the right thing." I was certain, he was training me for this day.
I knew it wasn't going to be easy. There was no way we could start fresh without addressing the elephant in the room. I stepped in as Damon held the door open. Caroline and Bonnie were up waiting, rushing as soon as I entered.
"Are you okay?"
"Seriously, I don't get what's wrong with Klaus!"
I gave a small laugh. "I'm fine honestly. I don't think he wanted to kill me...believe it or not. And... I'm sorry for earlier. I attacked you guys and it wasn't fair of me to do that. It was wrong."
They looked at me, lips tugging into a smile. "We love you."
"Yes." Bonnie affirmed.
"Thank you, but I am so so sorry. I truly am sorry, just snap my neck next time-"
"There won't be a next time!" Damon chided, his voice stern. "Sophia, you should get some sleep. Your room is upstairs on the right."
I wished them goodnight and ascended the stairs. Thoughts ran like wildfire through my mind. The promise of always protecting my baby brother no matter what, haunted me. His torn body across the bloody floor. Thoughts of Stefan. The image of his face as he tore into my father. His sweet innocent face when he came to my rescue.
The whispers began. They were far more violent and threatening. My hands shot to my ears, pressing down on them, blocking out the sounds. "LEAVE ME ALONE!!" I screamed. Silence. Removing my hands from my ears slowly, I glanced around. Stefan stood outside the door; lips set in a grim line. "Stefan?"
He shut his eyes momentarily and took a deep breath. "I know." He walked in and stood by the large, framed window, his back turned to me. "I know you can't forgive me for what I did and me saving you doesn't make up for what I did..."
"No. It doesn't and you're right...I can't forgive you and I don't think I ever will or there'll come a day where I can forget everything. But I do know that..." My eyes welled with tears, voice breaking. "I-can...I made a promise to my baby brother, that I would never let anything harm him, that I will ALWAYS protect him. I will always be there for him and for a long time I did until that day...Stefan. I vowed to myself that I would seek revenge but now...how? How do I look my blood brother in the face? I was angry for so long-bitter...but now that's all changed! Stefan, I don't know what to do! On one hand, there's Enzo telling me to trust you, to have faith in you and the other hand, my family. Do my family not deserve peace? I can't forgive you..." I say shaking my head. "Just don't expect anything from me. I think.... I think it'll be best if you stayed away from me." Why did those words hurt me the moment they parted with my lips?
His woeful expression grew grave. "I know and I won't expect you to. But I will always be here for you, and I will do anything for you. You are my sister. I won't give up on you. I'll be right here no matter how long it takes."
The tears escaped me, falling helplessly at his words. "Thank you." I sniffled. "...What you did for me...about Kol, I understand but he's not as bad as you guys think. I don't know what he did in the past but...I don't know why I care for him, and I hardly know him Stefan, but he makes me feel a type of way and I can't shake him off. I met him before I came here... and... he never hurt me so don't ask him to do that again."
He let out a deep sigh. "The relationship we have with Kol is complicated. I trust you. Not so much as them. I think it's Damon who needs convincing, you know he will stop at nothing to keep you as far away as he can from the Mikaelsons. We both will but if me backing off is what makes you happy, then I will gladly do that."
"Thank you, Stefan. You should get back to Caroline before she thinks I killed you or something and comes for me. Don't want her to hate me. I secretly adore her."
He snorted with laughter, inevitably making me break into a cackle. In that moment I felt free. Nothing was haunting me, there were no voices, no whispers. There was tranquillity. Perhaps Enzo was right after all.
Kill him. The wailing cries rattled me. My skin crawled and I wanted to turn inside out. "Leave me alone...Stefan leave!"