I rolled my eyes about and got up slowly, dropping the teacup on the table, I turned away trying to avoid her eyes.
"What would you have me do?" I asked her.
"What would I have you do? Well, I don't know, like don't do it?" She replied to me.
"If I don't, I'll lose Chris," I said,
"Chris? This again? What can't you see here? She is taking advantage of your weakness. How did you even become this susceptible?" She asked me.
"You can't understand," I turned toward her.
"You think so? Because what? I can't keep a relationship?" She said,
"I didn't mean that," I assured her.
"It doesn't matter what you mean. There is so much that needs your focus right now. She says you possess some sort of powers so great that your other mom made it inaccessible to your supposed real mom. Shouldn't you be asking questions?" She told me.
"I do have a million questions to ask but who?" I asked her.
"What do you mean who?" She asked, shaking her head slightly from side to side.
"He is right here." She told me.
It was then I understood what that wacko lady had said. "Blessing in disguise." Who better to have known my mom more than the man she loved?
––––
Stepping into Dad's mansion gave me the chills. For normal people, it would seem heavenly but for me, it felt grey. All of the memories seemed to be lingering in every corner. Everywhere I looked I would see a picture of her, he never took them down. It was his way of healing and I often wondered how. It only opened wounds for me and so I struggled to keep my eyes on the stairs as I proceeded to his room.
"Hey, Dad.." I greeted, once he opened up the door. He ushered me in warmly with a smile. It was all the same. The smell and make-up of the room were just how I remembered it to be. I sat at the bottom of his bed and he was beside me.
"Heading somewhere?" I asked him. I could see his suitcase lying open in the middle of the bed.
"Not at all. Was just searching through for something." He replied.
"So what brings you up this early?" He asked me.
"Oh nothing much, I only wanted to check in on you," I told him.
He sat there looking me in the eyes and then smiled again.
"Lying to me is a bad idea. You know I can tell when you do." He reminded me.
At this point, I felt it was best I head straight on.
"Dad. I was going to ask you a few questions if you don't mind." I said,
"Sure. Anything." He said,
"Okay, so. It's about– mom." I said,
"Your mom?" He replied. It seemed to surprise him.
"Yeah. At any point, was she ever strange or behave strangely?" I inquired.
"Your mom was a mystery. A beautiful mystery. Strange? Not really." He told me.
"Hmm," I voiced.
"What, ?" He seemed curious.
"Your brows twitched. They do so when you lie." I told him. He was remorseful.
"She did act weird sometimes. Missing in bed at midnight, talking weirdly in her sleep, always wanting to be indoors." He confessed.
"And…it didn't bother you?" I asked him.
He gave me a curious look.
"Why should it? I love her, that is all that should matter." He answered.
"Do not think your mom had any mental issues, no, she was fine. Perfectly fine. She wouldn't even fall sick." He said,
"I see. So there was no cause for alarm." I said,
"None at all. " He replied. "Was this what your recent attitude has been about?" He asked me.
"Me? Attitude? No. Just some pressing issues but they are being sorted out." I assured him with a smile.
I don't know if he bought it but I tried my hardest to not get caught at this point. He could be quite inquisitive and I didn't want him getting involved in any of this so I needed his questions and curiosity to end.
"Very well then. Would that be all?" He asked me.
"Well, one more thing.." I told him.
"Do you still have some of her stuff? Anything she held dear? Photo albums, diary, anything about her." I asked him.
He seemed concerned now.
"Not to worry. I just need them for closure. " I said to him.
"Hmm. Well, if you put it that way. I knew a day like this would come. When she passed, you only wanted to move on like it never happened. I kept all of her stuff so one day you would remember that the time she was with us might not have been enough but is enough to not forget." He said,
With a smile on his face, he slowly took his eyes away from me as he stood up and headed for his closet.
I watched him bring out a big brown box. I got up to receive it.
"It's quite heavy," I said,
"Yes. She was always protective of this one. She never let my curiosity get me this far." He said,
We both smiled remembering how she was his perfect match. The only one tough enough to make him obey.
"Thanks," I said, taking the box and heading out to my room.
As it sat there on my dressing table. It was as though it stared right back at me. It's been a crazy week and I wondered what I would encounter if I opened the box. Could my heart take it?
I had to wait for Dad to leave the house before doing anything. Once I saw his car drive out through my window curtain, I quickly headed for my hideout. I didn't want Claire knowing yet either since I hadn't yet ascertained the content of the box.
At my hideout, it had been ten minutes of contemplating if to open the box or not.
"F*ck it," I said, walking quickly towards the kitchen area. Returning with a knife, I folded the sleeves of my shirt. Opening the box up, I emptied the contents on the table. There were papers, photos, a jotter, it was just so much.
I stumbled on one photo, a picture of her wearing a red vintage dress and a hat. She was holding onto an umbrella, it seemed like it was a rainy day. She looked beautiful and had her bright smile on but she was standing next to another lady. I looked closely and it struck me, it was the old lady. She was dressed in white, pretty too. She looked just like she looked when she appeared to me yesterday–Her younger self.
I slowly and unconsciously sat on the couch.
'She was right. They were friends..she did know my mother.'
I dropped the photo. I drew the table closer and scattered through it. Her diary was the next thing my hands caught and I kept it beside me. I saw a necklace. It was black and had a pendant that had Sapphire inside of it– beautiful. I admired it for a bit. I don't remember her ever wearing it or did I never take notice?
Well, I am only human, I wore it on and continued my search.
There were so many photos, mostly in black and white. The dates were different and far back. It was obvious she lived for longer than I thought.
Whoever said the heart and the head worked together must have been terrible at lying.
I took a break from my research because as it seemed, my heart kept interfering with my mind. Yes, "Chris". If only I could see him. What would I even say? He wouldn't believe me. Now I wanted to go back to the future where everything was perfect. I would take those calls and reply to those messages. Tell him the truth about my illness because it's how all of this started– my running away from the truth.
Just then I noticed my pendant glow. I held onto it and heard voices. Voices I recognised. Quickly, I lifted my head and before me was some sort of screen. How did it get here? I had no idea, but I could see Chris in it. He wasn't looking so happy. He was in his living room drinking from his glass of wine. He looked sober. His hair was wild, he wasn't even prepared for work.
" You need to put yourself together," Claire said to him there.
"You knew and didn't tell me. I could have made her take the treatment. " He replied.
"It was already late," Claire told him.
"Don't! Do–not– say that. It's not too late. It's never too late to start. I could have saved her but now she lies there in that hospital bed as good as dead!" He vented.
"But she isn't yet." She told him. He staggered up on his feet and moved towards her.
"Hmm. Yeah, two weeks to go and I'll have to watch her stop breathing. Do you know how this feels? How much pain I have to suck in every time I go see her at the hospital?" He said,
Super confused, I stood there watching the movie play. It was my actual reality. He must have found out the truth and I can see how badly it was killing him.
I took a step closer to that screen but then I had a second thought which prompted me to try something else. I walked over to the end of the screen which happened to be the back of the couch he was sitting on. I took off my left shoe, went down in a squat position and dipped it through the screen. It was like a puddle. In shock, I threw the shoe in and went back to my initial position.
I could see the shoe was in there and then more than ever, I badly wanted to jump into that portal but common sense kept reminding me of the implications which held me back.
Now I understood the pendant wasn't ordinary and there was more to my existence. More to that box but it gave me great joy that this pendant could take me anywhere I wanted to go.
One step ahead.