Today is my birthday and as usual, nobody wishes me a happy birthday. I should be used to it by now but every year I get disappointed. Stupid. I don't know why my family doesn't like me. It has been like this ever since I could remember. I was always ignored. Not loved. Not favored. A nobody. Sometimes I wished that someone...anyone would take notice of me. It didn't help that I was scared of my own shadow. I wouldn't say I was timid or anything, okay maybe I was timid. I couldn't help it okay. I think I was born this way. I always kept my head down and kept to myself. I had no friends. No one. Yeah yeah yeah, I know. I was pathetic. But what else could I do? It's how I am.
Anyway, today I'm turning 18. Yeppie! I don't know why but I feel like it means something significant. I can't explain why I feel this way. I just do. I woke up with that kind of feeling. Like everything was about to change for me. Ridiculous right? I know. I'm not one to be superstitious. I brushed off the feeling as I hiked up my bag heading to the bus stop. I was in my first year of college and let me tell you, it was terrifying as hell. All those students... Yikes! It was a jungle, I tell you. A jungle. Which I had to survive by any means possible until I graduate. It was going to be hard but staying under the radar was what I did best. I was just going to focus on my studies and make sure that I don't lose the scholarship I got by getting straight A's in all my classes. I could do it. At least I had my brains going for me. Thank you Lord!
I don't think I've introduced myself to you guys yet. I'm sorry for being rude. My name is Zenande Moseley. My parents and siblings are white. Yes, I was adopted. Maybe that's one of the reasons they treat me the way they do. But if that's the case, then why did they adopt me in the first place? I ask myself that question every time. They don't ill treat me or anything, they just keep their distance. Sometimes when I happen to be in the same room with them, I can't help but notice how I repulse them. Maybe it was time for me to move out and find a place of my own. I mean, I was legal now. I could fend for myself. But even that terrified me to no end. I wasn't brave enough to do that. And even if I did move out, I would completely be alone. Anyway, I'm short, chubby and I wear glasses. Yeah, I know. I'm far from being Naomi Campbell. I'm very insecure about the way I look. I tried losing weight a few times but I just can't seem to stop eating so I gave up. Dieting was not for me. I wouldn't say I'm light-skinned. I'm more like caramel. Yah, so I think that's enough description of myself. I'm sure you guys have a more or less clear vision of how I look like.
I was late. Actually, the stupid bus was the one that was late which in turn caused my lateness for my first class. Darn! I despise being late with every fiber in my body. It causes attention, which I hate and don't do well with, and also it means I will need to seat at the back of the class today. This morning couldn't get any worse in my books. I was running to the building where my class was at. I was all frantic and breathing heavily everywhere. Maybe that's why I didn't see the person I just bumped into now. Before I could fall on my ass, the person grabbed me by the waist and pulled me to him. I say him because of how hard his body was and how big and strong his hands were. Mmm. He smells nice. Zenande what are doing?! My brain shouted at me. Oh my gosh! Did I just sniff him? I did. How embarrassing! I pulled away from him with my head down.
Me: "I-I-I'm s-s-sorry I-I d-d-didn't mean t-to-."
Him: "It's fine." His voice! Yum. Zenande! My face got more flushed. I don't know what has gotten into me. I'm not usually like this.
Me: "I-Im late f-for class. I-Im s-sorry again for-."
Him: "Look at me." That command went through my body and I couldn't ignore it even if I wanted to. My head snapped back as I looked at him and that's when my breath literally got sucked out of me. Lord Almighty! So handsome! How is it possible for a person to be this good looking? Oh my! Something like a growl emanated from his chest. It was deep and frightening... "not possible. You're a human. How can it be?" He looked furious. Oh-Oh. His face was all tense with his nostrils flaring up... "name." He demanded.
Me: "Zenande." I heard myself say.
Him: "Zenande." The way he said my name was so possessive that my body shook in a delicious way... "I need to go but I will find you later." It was a promise. He brushed my cheek with his finger and I couldn't stop the breathy moan that came out of me. It was like I had no control over my body. It was like I was connected to him somehow. Crazy? I know. But that's how it felt. His eyes grew more heated and intense as another growl emanated from his chest... "later precious one." And then he left me standing there with my heart aching from a great sense of loss, which was also crazy and confusing because why would I feel like that? I didn't know him. He was a stranger and he was nothing to me. Something told me that I was terribly wrong.