Far and foremost, the relationship is of cardinal importance to Tito. He wants to remain friends with mommy. He can do all he can to please her by avoiding conflict in favour of harmony.
One afternoon after school, he accidentally comes across a photo album in their home.
Old photos of mommy on jeans called ball-bottoms. Mommy riding motor bikes with friends – it seemed happier times indeed.
These pictures show how well mommy traveled around the country enjoying the beauty of Botswana. Photos at one of the most sought after wilderness destinations in the world. At the world's largest swampy inland delta, formed where the Okavango River reaches a trough in the central part of the basin of the Kalahari.
The river which flows from the distant mountains of Angola to spill out across the desert sands.
Photos at Kasane, a town in Botswana close to Africa's 'Four Corners', where four countries almost meet: Botswana, Namibia, Zambia and Zimbabwe. Photos which indicate that mommy sometimes crossed to the Victoria Falls to see the greatest water falls in the world in the province of Matebeleland north, Zimbabwe.
Several photos show Tito and the 'man': 'Everybody was correct, 'look at his ears, this must be my father, I look like him', soundlessly Tito says this to himself as he reflects on old comments he could hear every time he and mommy came across most people.
Some photos of Tito's father at Jwaneng town where Botswana diamonds are mined.
Diamonds which are the world's richest by value used in the manufacturing of the world's highest by value; rings, wrist watches, necklaces and all kinds of valuable jewelry sold the whole of Africa, United Kingdom, United States of America, Europe, Asia and all corners of the world where human trade exists.
Even todays' Hollywood superstars wear jewelry made from these sparkling diamonds for their glamor and glitter.
Some photos are of his father with Indian men showing happier times of his traveling.
'Nice pictures; motorbikes, wild animals and birds, mommy and my father enjoyed traveling,' Tito desires as he admirably enjoys a long look at these pictures.
Looking at his father's photo, Tito's inner child resurfaces in his thoughts. He looks deeply at childhood photos of himself and his father – he feels like the little Tito is begging to be heard while answering the question: Mommy where is my father?
He worries a lot where his father is. As time passes on, he ignores the problem as if it never exists. Tito does not want this stress to become a problem in his life. He does not want to lose the ability to cope with other life challenges.
He thinks of other constructive ways to know where his father is. But he does not want a situation in life where he would find it difficult to concentrate on his school work again.
He is worried about the never ending conflicts with mommy whenever the question is raised; 'mommy where is my father?'
Day by day, as a young boy, the situation becomes more difficult to resolve. He is still under the total control of mommy and daddy.
Tito does not want to know why mommy hates his father so much. Why she doesn't want him to connect with his father. Tito never wants to share mommy's feelings and experiences of her and his father's past. Is he wrong by never wanting to know their past?
He does not want to ask questions about their past experiences. All he cares about is the solutions to reconnecting with his father, or at least to be told what happened to his father.
Is Tito wrong by not showing how he too feels about mommy and his father's past experiences?
As a child who is supposed to be a bonding subject or agent between mommy and his father, is Tito supposed to be concerned about their past experiences? What led to his father's disappearance? These are the questions he regularly asks himself.
Tito is 13 years old. During the early months of the year 1991 the family moved from the town of Lobatse to the city of Gaborone, the capital city of Botswana. They now live right in the center of the city in Gaborone West Phase 2 suburbs.
After laying his hands on that photo album, Tito is rehearsing the whole afternoon. He wants to know how well to confront mommy about the pictures he has seen in the photo album.
He is rehearsing for a balanced solution.
The time is 5:30 in the late afternoon when mommy arrives home from work. Tito gives her time as usual to put down her grocery bags, personal hand bag and to sit on her favourite seat.
Hello mommy, how are you? Smiles Tito as he greets. 'Oh I'm fine Tito, how are you?' Mommy is happy as she responds. ' I cooked your favourite meal, sorghum, spinach and chicken, should I bring your food mommy?'
'Bring them, let's taste your recipe , Tito.'
He brings the food and gives them to mommy. She is smiling at Tito's desired cuisine. Pulling out the photo album Tito opens his favourite picture. The one he admires most. Expecting that mommy will kindly respond, he says swiftly pointing to the two people in the picture – 'Mommy, who is this man with me?'
With food still in her mouth, she raises her eyebrows, intense aggression and a huge frown on her face; 'Where did you get that photo album?' 'I picked it up from those books over there', Tito responds carefully as he points to the bookshelves. The blame is on him. The blame is why in the first place he laid his hands on this photo album.
In fear of contradiction, Tito immediately withdraws from the conversation. He becomes reserved – stand-offish. He is a little cold, a little formal and distant, but without big-headedness.
From that moment on, he develops a timid character of withdrawal, just like the tortoise.
The long-lasting conflict about the questioning of his father makes Tito develop this type of character in him.
A few days pass. After that final confrontation about his father, his uncle Spencer visits. Tito overhears mommy saying to his uncle. 'Take this photo album with you when you leave, whatever you may do with it, is up to you. I do not want it anywhere near my son, completely, I do not want it anywhere near my son', she repeated to Tito's uncle.
That was the end of the photo album during the year 1992.
When the family visits grandmother at the village, it is not like before. This time they have to stay in the village. Grandmother is no longer ploughing as she is old to look after the ploughing fields by herself. She now spends her life in the village.
Despite all these push-over tactics by mommy and 'daddy', mommy's aunt, Judy, keeps on reminding Tito that Solman is his father.
This woman loves Tito so much, although she opposed Tito being born several years back.
Everytime the family visits in the village, Judy tells Tito that his father works at a hardware store just nearby. She insists that Tito should go and see him.
Since Tito long wished to meet his father, he interestingly inquires on his whereabouts as aunt Judy talks about his father.
Tito finally goes to the hardware store.
'Good day, how can we help you?', the lady at the store shelves asks while dusting the building materials around the store.
'I'm looking for a man by the name Solman,' asks Tito curiously but uncertain if he will be shown the man since he does not know his surname. ``You see those gentlemen overthere, go and ask them, those are his workmates, the lady replies pleasingly.
'Hello sir, I'm looking for a man by the name Solman, asks Tito wondering if he could be around.
'You see that man sitting over there, he works with Mr Solman, some gentleman responds while pulling steel bars from the shelves. As Tito approaches the men, there is only one man sitting down with four men standing up.
Tito's eyes are on him.
As he moves towards the men he can see that the man he is supposed to see regards Tito as one of the clients looking for building materials. The man's attention is with his colleagues .
'Good morning sirs,' greets Tito like a young boy sent to deliver some message. He is 14 years old this time.
'Yes how can we help you,' some gentleman replies.
'I came to see, Solman.' Says Tito as he looks at these men. He is looking around to see who Solman could be among these men.
'Solman is on leave, he will be reporting for duty in two weeks.' Tito is disappointed as he hears these words.
His efforts do not bear fruit. But he goes back knowing where his father works. 'I will check him some other day,' disappointed as his face shrunk.