(Who… Am I?)
His view was darkened, almost as if purposefully concealed. But though he saw nothing, felt nothing, and thought of nothing, he still dreamt.
He dreamt of nonexistent memories, life-changing events, and impossible friends. There could be no truth to what he saw, he trusted none of it. But the feeling, it felt real.
Every so often his dream would end, and the nightmare would begin. All those he loved, his friends, his family, they'd all suddenly vanish. He would be left with nothing, nothing but those flames. The fires would consume him, the blaze would dissolve everything he had but a moment ago in an instant, gnawing away even at him. The pain was maddening, but after a time those flames would fade away too, nothing would remain in their wake, just darkness. All the memories that he had treasured before became foreign to him then, the emptiness erased everything he knew.
And then it would start again. All the memories would flood in, then be ravaged by fire, and then all at once be silenced completely. The process went on for what seemed like infinity, as if in perfect limbo.
(Is that…-?)
A brief ray of light shined through his closed eyes, suddenly, he was capable of opening them.
? "…Where am I?"
He turned his head continuously, from corner to corner. Although he could not raise himself, he seemed to have forgotten even the concept of having a body in the first place, and so made no remark on it.
I could finally see, but everything was hazy as if covered with salt. I knew there was someone at my side, but I couldn't make their face out.
000: "I'm sorry for the inconvenience, but you must bear it but for a while longer,"
"He will be arriving soon, and―――――――"
I could hear them, but everything they said was incomprehensible to me, and soon all the words blended into one. Though I didn't understand them, their tone comforted me, as if warming me from the inside. Soon I heard something, I felt a presence approaching us.
It was a broad and tall person, but I couldn't seem to make out the expression on their face.
∫∫∫: "I see you've woken him, good job."
000: "Please hurry… he seems to be quite confused with himself as of now."
The figure nodded to the other, what had they agreed upon? I couldn't make out the noises they made, but I saw as the taller one walked towards the edge of the room. There seemed to be something in the corner, but I had no idea what.
000: "You will be fine, Alcaeus. Just a few more moments."
(Could that be… Me?)
Soon the broad figure approached me again, he reached his hand out to me. I could feel him fumbling with the back of my neck, what was he looking for? It seemed as though he flicked something, an intense current shot through my body all at once.
???: "It…Burns-!"
I tried to jolt myself away from the pain, but I was held in place by something.
000: "Please, calm yourself!"
I felt a sudden coldness on my hand, someone had reached for it.
(Funny, I'd forgotten I still had those.)
(…Still-?)
(After…What…?)
It was just out of reach, the memory was right behind my field of few. I kept stumbling toward it, but I felt that my time was short.
(After what?!)
But it was too late, I felt my eyelids growing heavier. Once again they'd be glued shut, and I'd be returned to my eternal limbo of suffering.
Lord Xuth: "…Just a few more calibrations and he'll be back on his feet."
Phrosyne was still holding onto Alcaeus's arm, even after he'd gone unconscious.
Phrosyne: "He struggles through it more and more each time… He forgets more each ti-"
Lord Xuth: "We must continue. There is no other option."
The Lord cut her off short, almost in a temper. His voice was harsh, but there were hints of pain in it.
Lord Xuth: "We have simply come too far now to get cold feet."
He made his way out of the chamber, but for a moment, he arched himself back.
"…Please Phrosyne… Bear it just a while longer…"
He strained the sentence out of himself before finally exiting the chamber, seemingly not waiting for a response.
Phrosyne sat next to Alcaeus deep in thought. Though she thought of nothing, in particular, she felt a deep-seated grief for the Lord.
(If only I could bear that burden with you… My Lord.)
Nurse Ias: "Now, will someone, at last, explain to me what happened to you two?"
All three students were now comfortably placed in their respective beds, to Aurora's dismay, even she was made to rest in the infirmary.
Aurora: "Well… The new training was quite strenuous-"
Nurse Ias: "Training? You all look like you've come from a warzone!"
Although Arian and Palae were now fast asleep, the nurse addressed them too in her disbelief.
All Aurora could manage for an answer was an awkward laugh.
(There's no way I can tell her the truth, she'll just keep asking questions until I'll have to lay it all out for her… And there's no way she'll take our side over everyone's.)
(It would be better to just leave her out of it completely.)
The look of disappointment on Nurse Ias's face was unmistakable, she soon understood Aurora had no intention of confiding in her.
Nurse Ias: "It can't be helped then, I'll just have to get it out of you later."
Aurora was immensely surprised by her sudden nonchalance, their school nurse was never known to let matters concerning safety off so easily.
Nurse Ias: "But you must rest, for now, I'll come back to check on you all a bit later."'
Aurora was left all alone after. She tried to rest, but now that she was alone, everything finally dawned on her.
Aurora: "That's right… He…"
"He recognized me."
(I'm here again.)
(It's all so familiar yet foreign all at once.)
There was nothing but dull whiteness, my surroundings felt suffocatingly compact and endlessly stretched out at the same time.
There were figures all around me, they had no face, no features to speak of. All they had were forms, they occupied the space around me completely.
(They care so much for me, I feel it, it makes me want to love them just as much.)
They would all flock closer to me, they'd grasp but never quite reach me. They all filled my view but it seemed as though we were miles apart, like they were just a dream.
Then all at once, they caught fire. All at once, they burned.
Some would reach for me in their blazing state, and some would even touch me, but there was nothing I could do. I only watched as they burned to a crisp, turning to ash right in front of me.
However, in the midst of my horror, there was something else. Some thought in the back of my mind I couldn't seem to get rid of. It screamed out to me, gnawing at the back of my psyche.
YOU CHOSE THIS
Lord Xuth: "…There. That should do it."
The Lord just finished probing through Alcaeus, he was arched forward towards his resting body. After finishing the Lord ran to the terminal next to him, starting again on some program.
Phrosyne: "Are you alright, Alcaeus?"
She had been standing next to him all this time, only now did she sit down by his bedside.
(My nausea is unmistakable, I must've just fought the commandant.)
As my vision started to clear, I made out everyone near me. The old man was preoccupied with something in the corner of my chamber, and the assistant is the one beside me now.
I didn't bother answering the machine, instead, I fixed my gaze on the old man.
Alcaeus: "How much longer do you intend on keeping me in restraints, Xuth?"
He still seemed busy with whatever he was doing, only for a moment did he look back at me before responding.
Lord Xuth: "Oh, you've woken for real this time then? I was expecting to get through a few more calibrations before you would…"
His voice rang out with disappointment. I could never guess what his true intentions were, even though he never made any effort to hide his tone.
Not that I was much too interested in the first place.
Alcaeus: "Have your lackey free me, I won't ask again."
He stayed his hand for a while, completely unmoving. The silence lasted but a moment, however, he quickly signaled the assistant after.
She didn't make a sound as she began uncuffing me. The strain caused by the chains eased suddenly, before finally releasing me.
Lord Xuth: "…And how do you feel, my child?"
Alcaeus: "Tired, mainly."
I mustered my words through a groan, my limbs felt compressed against themselves.
Alcaeus: "What happened to me?"
As the old man faced me, I noticed that the assistant turned her head away.
Lord Xuth: "A malfunction during your training drill at the school. It's of no severe consequence, however, it would seem combat with an X grade initiated the reaction."
That's right, I was fighting with him. Some X grade whose name I can't seem to recall, and then… Did someone call out to me?
Lord Xuth: "Don't fret over it too much now. There's little use in worrying, we've made the adjustments."
Alcaeus: "And? Can I handle an encounter with another X grade or not?"
The old man dropped his gaze, seemingly in thought. He spoke while glaring at the ground.
Lord Xuth: "It's hard to tell, I would not recommend it…"
So he had no idea, after all of these tests he didn't know.
Well then, as I see it there's only one real way to find out.