My eyelids opened slowly and I found myself in my room.
"Ah! My head hurts. Why am I in my room?"
"You fainted in the garden yesterday. We searched for you when you weren't in your room. What on earth happened to you? Why do you always make us worry?"
James replied with a worried face.
"How did I faint? I remember I was with...Who...Who was it? Why can't I remember? Ah! My head hurts."
"Okay, okay, don't be so worked up. Just get some rest."
James put the blanket on me and went out of my room. I took some rest and then started studying because exams were approaching.
Time flew and it was lunchtime already.
"Ashma, lunch is ready. Come down, sweety."
"Okay, mom!"
I went downstairs and dined with my family but Shams was also there.
"Shams, how are you here? You are visiting more often lately. Is everything alright?"
"Ahem, ahem! ", James cleared his throat, "He came for his answer."
"Answer?"
Then I recalled that he had confessed to me.
"Um...about that...you see...I…"
I was about to finish my sentence when Shams interrupted me.
"It's okay. You don't have to hurry. Since you are my fiancee, I can wait as long as you wish."
"Fiancee…? Wait, what?"
My father interrupted.
"It's good that at least one of you has developed feelings for another. I hope for both of your feelings to be mutual soon. We, parents, worried a lot as we had you engaged recently. Ashma, my child, you don't have to answer right away. It's okay to take some time."
"Father, what are you talking about? Engaged? Shams and me? But I remember it was...who?...Who was it again? Ah! My head hurts. Ah! It feels like thousands of needles are piercing me as I try to remember...Ah!"
All of them panicked seeing my situation and took me to my room.
My mom gave me an aspirin to relieve my headache. It was only me and my mom in my room now so she advised me to take good care of myself.
"Ashma, sweety, I know you worry about your grades so you study hard but you don't have to burden yourself. Take good care of your health. Don't make me and your dad worry, okay?"
"Yes, mom."
She left my room and I got a strange feeling that something is not right. Things were not and should not be that way, but, whenever I started to think hard I would feel like thousands of needles are piercing through my head. It was very painful. I couldn't think of any way out. So I let things remain as they were for the time being but I didn't expect to experience the same things that I experienced before I met Zaki.
It was the First Tuesday of October and a month later of Zaki's disappearance. It snowed that day. I got up early to visit Qalb Al Ghaba, the grand tree, in the forest as I usually did when I had a lot going on in my mind. I visited the forest and it looked fascinating. The snow on the leaves and branches was adding to its charm. Qalb Al Ghaba was looking beautiful. In the entire forest, it was the only tree that didn't have even one flake of snow. That's why I felt like it was magical and was charmed by it. The gentle sound of its leaves would make me calm in no time.
"My sweet grand tree, what should I do? I feel no ease. I feel like things shouldn't be this way. I still can't answer Shams about his confession. It feels strange though. He was my best friend but I never thought of him romantically, and still, I regard him as a brother but his feelings go deeper and deeper as days go by," I sighed with my closed eyes, then half opened them stroking the big, mighty branch of the tree, "Why do I remember that I was never engaged to him but to someone else? And you know what? I don't get a headache when I am around you thinking about him. Though I don't know who he is. Crazy, right? Okay, time for me to go, my sweet tree. I'll see you soon, bye."
Then, I went on my way to school.
It was my Biology exam that day. I was well prepared and it ended up amazing. Along with Susan, Jasmine, and Shams, I got out of school. Both my friends were curious about my answer so they hinted in some way.
"Jasmine! Aren't you curious about something?"
"Susan, what are you… O! Of course, I am! But a certain someone is more than we do."
Shams smiled and blushed.
"Ahem...ahem, you guys, don't tease Ashma."
Both of them smiled at each other.
"Look Ashma, your knight in shining armor is defending you."
"Stop it, you guys." I felt bad for Shams and replied with a soft expression.
We separated halfway because our houses were separate ways. It was now me and Shams along the way. We were silent for quite some time but his gaze fell on a blooming rare blue flower and our silence broke.
"Ashma, look! What an astonishing flower and it's glowing!"
"Yeah! It's beautiful. I've never seen anything like that."
"Me neither."
He plucked the flower and tucked it in my hair.
"It's rare just as you are. Moreover, it matches your starry bright blue eyes."
"Shams. Why are you so good to me?"
"Why? Are you feeling bad for me?"
"How do you know?"
"Because I love you."
I felt extremely bad for him and decided to give him a direct rejection because I couldn't think of him romantically.
"Shams, look, I can't think of you as a man. It's been over a month since you confessed. I tried hard to know my heart but the answer is still 'no'. I know it's unfair for all your wait but I don't want to hurt you anymore. If I delayed my answer for some more months because of guilt and then rejected you, it would have hurt you even more. So, I am sorry that I can't return your feelings for me."
Shams gave me a sad expression but concealed his pain with a smile and behaved as if nothing was bothering him.
"Hah! Ironically, I did know that you will reject me even if it was a month later or a year. But, what if I say I don't want to give up."
"You'll only hurt yourself by doing so."
"What if I say I am willing to get hurt".
"Why are you so stubborn, Shams?" I furrowed my brows.
"Well, that's how I am! I never let anything stop me from what I want." He grinned.
"Then, what if my answer still doesn't change."
"At least, I would feel satisfied that I gave it my all but you were so stone-hearted that you rejected me. I won't give up until someone else comes into your life. If that certain someone loves you more than I do then I will give up. But, I believe that no one can love you more than me. So, it keeps me in high spirits. Hahaha!" He grinned and said it as if he was sure of the future with me ahead.
I relaxed and laughed.
"Shams, what should I do with you?"
"Now, if you are all cheered up, let's go home, my princess."
He extended his hands towards me and bowed for my hand like a prince asked his consort.
"Sure, sure, my prince." I chuckled and gave him my hand.