'How cute.'
Sage woke from her blissfully dreamless sleep. Who was that?
She opened her eyes to something totally wrong: Not only was her position different, but there was someone else with them Someone she didn't want to see.
She slowly rose from Dylan's embrace. 'You shouldn't be here.'
'Oh please,' Marc said, standing at the foot of the bed. 'Is this seriously the first time you've seen a second man in your room? A stripper like you should be surprised it's just two.'
'Who let you in here?' Sage asked.
'I go where my prince goes, princess,' Marc said. 'And, yes, that's why I'm here. He needs to get ready for service.'
'May I ask what kind of service before I throw up?'
Marc smiled. 'Church service, sinner. The kind you're not allowed to attend because you don't believe in The True Faith. I've done a bit of digging and found out that your opinion of God and religion is quite…devilish.'
'Yeah. And you're the angel among us, fire-chicken.' Sage crossed her arms. 'That's right. I looked your name up on the internet. Something about a burning bird.'
'A phoenix rises from its ashes, Scarlett. That is my legacy, and that is what I will always do.' Marc stood tall over her. 'You might try to burn me a thousand times—and succeed maybe one of these times—but I'll always come back. I'll give you even more fire than the pit of Hell God has ordained for your kind can offer.'
Hell.
'Your God is unfair,' Sage spat. 'If He really was, He wouldn't have said people like you shouldn't exist even though it's written in your destinies. Wasn't it God who destroyed a city of gays back in The Bible?'
'The Sodomites terrible. They were polytheists who robbed and raped their guests. They shunned the poor despite their great wealth. If I were like that, I'd pray to be destroyed immediately and in an even worse manner.' Marc's scowl was even worse than his smirk. 'Even if you argue that they knew men by the anus instead of more legal means, God destroyed them for the abnormality of that method. He did not, contrary to popular belief, destroy them because they were in love. God never said that love between any two people, regardless of what gender they were created with, was forbidden.'
He laid in bed and spooned Dylan from behind. Dylan smiled a little.
Not wanting to be a third wheel, she quietly walked away.
'What just happened?'
Her heart jackhammered against her ribs. 'What the heck, Bobby?'
Sharks, she cursed within her. No no, that was the last strike on her part. Heck, yesterday was the worst strike. She needed to apologize before she was made an enemy.
'I'm sorry,' she said frankly. 'For everything, really. The pj's, the yelling, now—I suck at first impressions. I don't want you hating me. I don't like being hated. No one does.'
' You have no reason to fear us, Mistress Scarlett. You're placed in a position above suspicion,' they replied.
'I don't fear you—well, not you as you—' She caught herself before she stepped on the mine. 'I fear your standing in this family, I mean, yeah. You're kind of a mafioso, granted. But I don't fear you. I don't want us to be like you and Dylan. I don't chase every attractive being that moves, so it's not like I'll flirt with you or ridicule you. Can we be okay?'
'Did you just call us attractive?' Bobby asked.
'No. I made a mockery of my boyfriend,' she replied.
'Very well,' they said. 'We asked you a question, Miss Scarlett,' Bobby said. 'We have our guesses since Marc Phoenix just went this way, but that's deductive reasoning. Your function is to confirm.'
Sage sighed with a tinge of relief. 'Marc just gave me this whole lecture about being atheist. That's all I can really say.'
'We won't force you to share, either. But take comfort in knowing that you are not the first person to go through that lecture.' Bobby rolled their green and brown eyes. 'Marc has a malevolent attitude towards anyone who poses a threat to him, not just people who don't conform to his religious beliefs. If you're with him, he doesn't mind if you worship the devil.'But that wasn't all that drove you out, correct? You don't seem like one that's intensely hurt by mere comments.'
She hesitated. If she said the truth, would they suddenly figure out that she wasn't Dylan's girlfriend? A normal girlfriend would've kicked Marc's butt and made out with Dylan while he watched.
'It's not something I feel comfortable with saying,' Sage admitted.
'We hold many the secrets of Anthony House, Scarlett. We have seen and heard a lot of things no one else will ever get the chance to. If you wish to tell us, we won't say anything to offend you,' they promised.
That gave her strange confidence.
Sage began. 'After the lecture, Marc climbed into bed and hugged Dylan. I knew that when Dylan woke up, they'll start talking as if I don't exist. Now I'm here. I was planning to get some leftovers of yesterday's dinner and crash on the couch while everyone else goes for service.'
Bobby's face remained stone-cold. 'That's fine. Invisibility and silence aren't the worst practices. You could learn quite a lot from mutely assessing your enemy. You could also lose a lot, but at times you'll have to think positively.'
They took one direction, and she took another. Then it suddenly occurred to her that they wore different contacts than the day before.
'She's jealous, isn't she?' Marc asked.
'Quite,' Dylan replied.
They giggled.
'We had a bit of a row before you woke up,' Marc said. 'She said God hates people like me and whatever. How wrong of her.'
'She's not all that into religion. Let's say Life dealt her a few hard blows and she lost her faith,' Dylan said based on pure assumption. With a mother as stingy as hers, it might have been true.
'Or she didn't grow up like that,' Marc added. 'Your dad's going to flip when he finds out, won't he?'
'He won't. I told him already. He thinks I can either make her embrace The Faith or join her so we burn in Hell together,'
'Like father, like son,' Marc said with a mutual expression. 'I'll help you pick your outfit while you keep her from whining about me.'
Marc's arms unlatched around his waist, then he was gone.
Dylan went out of the room. From the top of the stairs, he could see Sage asleep—or lying down, at least—on the living-room sofa. She didn't plan to go anywhere, as it seemed.
For a moment, he considered staying in with her. It was Satan at work, but he didn't need to try too hard. He walked on until he reached where she lay. He checked her eyes and found her eyes closed.
Naturally, he took the opportunity. He decided to hug her from behind the way Marc did with him.
Sage also made a decision: to wake up at the sensation of his touch.
'What you did last night is enough,' she warned, her eyes closed.
'Baby—' he whined.
'Nope. I'm too tired for your nonsense. My back hurts from the strangeness of what you made me do, and you have church today,' she went on 'Isn't there a law against touching women who you aren't married to on Sundays
'What did I—oh.' He recalled hugging her in the morning. 'And, well, if you think we should get married—'
'Pester me one more time, and I'll tell Bobby you're harassing me. We're pretty cool now, so they could help out.'
Bobby would've been too busy with Father to do that by then, but Dylan didn't want to take chances. He started on his way back to his room—to Marc—but a voice from above called out to him.
'My son, my son,' Father boomed from the top of the stairs, 'go to The Lord's house. And take Sage with you.'
'Daad!' Sage whined.
'My daughter, you are a woman. A man may be the head, but you are the neck. If the neck bends, so will the head, and so will the crown on which rests upon it,' Father said. 'Rise, Dylan's neck.'
Sage sat up, but no more. Smirking, Dylan carried her in his arms and led her upstairs.
'Father just reminded me about service. I suppose you're going as well?' he asked, dropping Sage on the bed as soon as he saw Marc.
'Of course. I came to remind you, remember?' Marc asked.
'Good. I suppose you wouldn't mind me bringing Sage along too.'
Marc's face went slack. 'She can't go. She's an atheist. I googled her and everything.'
'You googled her. Father, on the other hand, didn't. He really wants her to go.' He forced the words out of his mouth. 'I want her to go.'
'She won't last thirty minutes out there. She'd be lucky if she can make the sign of the cross properly,' Marc said.
Shyly, he knelt to Marc.
'Sage needs us as—as much as I need you,' Dylan said, feeling a stabbing pain in his heart with each breath. 'Help me help her…Father.'
Marc's eyes and face showed no emotion, but he still said, 'Fine.'
He patted Dylan's head twice.
'I need to bathe,' Dylan said, rising.
'Be quick. We're late as it is.'
Dylan watched him stride out with confidence. Like Lot, he never looked back, not even a little.
When he was gone, he checked his messages. There was a lot in his inbox, but he singled out Bobby's message quite easily. Maybe because he saved their name as a ninja emoji.
Tu pourrais nous remercier plus tard.
He laughed. Why would he ever thank them later?
'You…wish,' he said as he typed the translation of his words in French.
Sage and Marc had bickered on the way to church in the holiest fashion possible.
Marc closed the big ugly brown book after insulting her with various proverbs from Proverbs. 'I suppose we could go for simpler things. Do you know any basic Christian prayers?'
'Yeah,' Sage replied. 'I think I know that Holy Mother prayer.'
'Mary,' Marc corrected.
'Same difference.'
'Oh, Sister Scarlett. Do you also not know that the bible says in Proverbs 12:1, "Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but she who hates reproof is stupid"?'
'You're stupid.'
'I beg your pardon?'
'The bible also says "Be nice," or something like that,' Dylan interrupted. 'You can't learn or teach the way of the Lord when there's hostility between the two of you.'
'Spare the rod and spoil the side-chick, Brother Prince,' Marc muttered.
Dylan pulled over to the church driveway.
Sage almost kissed the ground. She now understood how convicts felt when they were released from prison. Being in the car with Marc was Alcatraz, and if there really was a heaven, it was right out of Alcatraz.
'Come on, Sister Scarlett,' Marc said when he and Dylan had walked halfway to the church doors. 'You're sitting with us, remember?'
And she was put behind bars again. Bummer.
For a church a Home Secretary attended, it looked pretty ordinary and cliche. Same rows of brown pews, same marble tiles and paint, same guy stapled to a plus sign for no apparent reason other than to warn unbelievers like her of what would happen to them if they stepped into the place with their old beliefs intact.
And oh joy; the day's sermon was on lies.
'Lies are from the Devil!' yelled the fat man in black and white. 'Lies will keep you from accessing the promised kingdom of Heaven because the lord sayeth in the Book of Proverbs that he hates a lying tongue.'
'It's a good thing I know He hates the rest of me,' Sage muttered.
'What an accurate observation, Sister Scarlett,' Marc said.
Sage's opinion of faith had been soiled right from when she was born. Her mother might have given birth in a Catholic hospital, but she didn't allow the priest to even look at her daughter. Sage was surrounded by Marys and Josephines and Rachels, meanwhile, none of her names had any connection to The Bible. Seventy percent of her class went to Sunday school, and she waved them goodbye as she watched them from her living room window. She could recall the single blasphemous mantra her mother chanted about religion: God isn't fair. She never got Christmas presents because Christmas was a Christian thing. On top of it all, Clara wanted her to be a lawyer.
Lawyers don't believe in God, at least not the best ones. You have to be the best, Scarlett, she always said.
Her tortures didn't help. If the God everyone raved so much about actually existed, why would he let Sage go through so much? If someone was way up there writing their destinies, why did hers have as much pain as it did?
So, no. No boyfriend, no religion, no problem.
'Darling?'
Her head rose. 'What?'
'You look sad,' Dylan said, 'is the sermon upsetting you?'
'This sermon should upset you a lot more than it upsets me, mastermind' Sage replied.
'We'll be friends soon, I know it. Then we'll become boy friend and girl friend,' he joked.
Sage's humor didn't improve, but she smiled so he would shut up.
'Our God says in Proverbs 19 verse 5, "A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who breathes out lies will not escape."' Pastor Penguino eventually brought his voice down. 'Confess your lies, my brothers and sisters, as we pray to our Lord, Jesus Christ.'
The congregation stood up, but Sage didn't. Though she'd barely listened to the sermon, it had her thinking of Gothel. What would she do if she found out that Dylan wasn't actually her daughter's boyfriend? Would she be happy that Sage had obeyed her, or would she lock her up in an emotional closet of guilt? Would she praise her sacrifice, or would she tell her that deceiving millions of people for a boy and a few million pounds was just stupid?
A person who bears false witness will not go unpunished…
Even if He decided to show her his mercy, Gothel would surely punish her if she went back. And Gothel's punishments may not have been Hell, but they were harsh. She once grounded her for an entire year for going to a friend's house without permission, then starved Sage until she almost died, and—according to her—almost gave her up for adoption once for a crime she couldn't remember
'She's been possessed,' Marc said from God knew where. 'Father, pray for her.'
'She's fine,' Dylan said. 'She's completely fine.'
'I'm really not,' Sage contradicted. Her head felt like it had been hit with a bible twenty-five times. Her face was wet with tears.
'Demon, speak,' Pastor Penguino ordered.
'My girlfriend is not a devil. None of you will touch her,' Dylan said.
'But—'
'If there's anyone possessed in all of us, it's me. And you do not want to bring out the demon I have.' Dylan shook her a lot harder. 'Open your eyes. Please, darling.'
Wait a second, her eyes were closed?
She forced her eyes open to meet Dylan in tears. He had knelt with her, his expression showing he was scared out of his mind. His blue eyes had turned black with shock.
'Dude—'
He tackled her into a hug and wept on her shoulder. 'Don't you ever do that again. I beg you in the name of Rainbow Dash.'
'You've gotta get your own acting class,' Sage whispered.
'Bullshit. I was actually scared for you,' he said.
'Again,' she said to emphasize her point. 'Could you rate this out of ten for me later?'
She gently pushed him away.
'I have a confession,' Sage began. 'I'm not of your faith. I'm sure everyone who watched TV yesterday knows. I'm sure those people saw me coming and thought I was making a simple appearance. But if there's one thing I've learned—not from a Bible verse or any holy figure, but my new father—it's that I have the power to make my Prince either lose his crown by bending, or shine in the sunlight by standing strong. I chose to stand strong…until I saw that I didn't belong. I don't know what you all know, so I was hurt. I felt that I let Dylan down. I'm sorry.'
She was clapped for. Mrs. Anthony came forward to dry her eyes.
'Love is not a crime,' Pastor Penguino said. 'It is the blessings of God. Through your love for him—' He looked at Dylan. '—He will guide you to perfection.'
'Amen!' hollered the church.
'Let us pray that our Lord blesses this act of love,' Pastor Penguino urged. 'Let us pray that the love we see is of God and Him alone. And we all know whatever is done for the sake of Him alone will flourish and last forever.'
Dylan held both her hands and bowed his head. She had to look around to understand—the church had formed a circle around them, chanting praises and pleas and amens for their sake. Before she could compare it to a wedding, she bowed her head too, ignoring the tingly feeling in her hands.
'Ten out of ten, just like you,' Dylan said after the prayer had ended.
'We're at church. No lying, no flirting,' she said.
'But it's true,' he complained.
'You said you could find someone more beautiful than me if you wanted to,' she reminded.
'I suppose I was mistaken, then. You're not just beautiful. You're radiant, pulchritudinous, shapely—oh my Lord, Sage Scarlett. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.'
Lies, Gothel hissed in her head.
She made two decisions at that moment: She wouldn't tell Gothel the truth even if all of Genesis were force-fed to her, and she would believe that lie for a little while. Only a little while. Only a little while.