Chapter 40 - It's midnight huh...

I've been writing for the past few days... I write then correct the stuff I find wrong, etc...well I also do research in my free time...by free time I mean when I set my mobile to charge...I was bored a bit...and my fingers are hurting from writing...even right now it's almost like I can't feel them...and hurts a lot when I try to put pressure...well, I also watch an anime...I didn't like it at first...cuz it was not what I was expecting...they censored and made it child friendly...and I read the manga...and LN...so...yeah my expectations were a lot higher...so I didn't watch after 1 episode...but since my fingers were hurting and I was bored from researching...so I just watch that anime...and I watch until he becomes demon lord...I cut the intros and outros so it took me around 13 hours...and I didn't feel like I wasted it...yeah, I could have written a bit more...but I thought of a new storyline...for those who still didn't understand which anime I'm talking about it's Tensura' it's my personal opinion and you might not agree and I don't expect you to either...but I think the anime is sucks compared to the manga version... I'm not going to the LN...cuz...yeah the LN is always above the anime adaptation...I also watch an anime movie someone suggested to me...named Naruto...I think I watched the movie when the Naruto fight with his alternative version...I forgot the name... it was mennu? Manna?...idk but yeah it was something like that then Akatsuki came and saved him...and I got another idea for a fanfic...and it will be my longest fanfic...but I need to work on my eleceed ones first before even thinking about others...and it's been a while since I shared something about my life...so I thought why not just share my thoughts...like you guys are family to me...so I can say anything without the fear of being judge...tehe...ahem, like I said before I left studying...reason I don't have anyone to teach me like mine tuition professor left the state after being transferred to his home town...and sis...is busy with her studies...well anyone can tell all of them are just excuses the real reason is...I just realized I was not good enough at studying...ya'know remembering stuff is not my thing...I like to study the stuff that gives me a visual image...or a detailed explanation about the topic ya'know like A to Z everything all together so I can get the entire image...not some vague explanation that is meant to be remembered to written in exams to get passing grades...I don't like them...so I left studying...and I found out I was a lot more famous in my first-year class...like if you remember I failed my 11th test so the people who were with me I meant my classmates who pass and goes to the 2nd year right now in their masters 4th year...and damn they still remember me...like not all of them but most of them...like I needed the department head to sign to officially get out of the college so I went to the 4th year classroom or lecture hall and just when I entered, after 45 minutes you could leave the class since the lecture was almost over and only roll calls were left and you can also enter for next lecture...so I enter with the professor's permission...and he smiles a bit seeing me...like he knows me...not personally I mean...the place I used go for tuition was just beside his house and he used came often to the coaching for timepass...and often ask questions about the stuff...we used to study...and it's quite normal to answer currently that you're studying...like I won't believe it if you said you can't answer about something you just read...but idk why my tuition mates couldn't answer most of the time...guess they were a bit too busy talking to each other...lol, so when I enter I felt all eyes on me...so just out of curiosity I glance back at all of my old classmates and turn back to the professor with the paperwork that he was reading...and all of a sudden someone asked me " have we met before senior brother?" I glanced at the person and found it was a girl...that I couldn't remember the name of so I didn't reply and just stared at her and turned back to the professor...like I didn't know what to say...I can't say stuff like ' Oh yeah I used to study in the same year as you but I failed cuz I forgot to study English wahahaha'..."..."... Hell nah, even though I don't look like I also feel embarrassed...and after the girl all of them start talking to each other about they saw me somewhere or I seem familiar etc but I didn't say anything...nor I correct it that I was not their senior...but...the professor said " he is the masked boy who used to sit beside the window and ignored all of you even when you tried to start a conversation...roll number 85" and I don't even know what to say...I didn't dare turn back to the students and one after another they said my name and roll number like I ever told them...heck man I never talked to any of them...idk how they knew my name just when I was thinking about all that professor said " I told them your name..." I was looking at mine professor with question eyes and why? then before I realised all of them were looking at me like I was an animal in a zoo all of them were looking at me and trying to see the front of my face...and I hate when people do that...yeah I'm ugly I know...that's why to look at something so disgusting? ...ahem I was a bit embarrassed and uncomfortable but I kept a straight face like I don't give F...more like I have a resting bitch face..."..."...idk why but yeah I do have a face like that...then all of sudden all of them started asking me questions like why I don't come to classes or how I was doing and why I was here today etc...im using etc cuz they asked a lot of questions...and almost all of them...like heck, I don't even know most of them...they were around 130 to 150 students in the room...so I just stay silent and I was shocked when a girl asked about mine dad and sis...while calling my dad uncle, since it's normal in India like it's respectful...like Mr and Mrs felt we're referring to a random person...we Indian like to have close bonds...I think?...and I turned towards the girl who asked the question and it was the same girl who came to me on the first day of my 11th and asked me if we could be friends...but I was silently staring at her...and she left in embarrassment...like hey I didn't mean to offend her or anything I just didn't know what to do...it was the first time someone asked me to be their friend...and I was thinking we should hand shake but it during corona so I was relucted...and just could decide if I should offer my hand or not...back to the present I asked her how she knows my dad's name like we call uncle in hind along with their name to identify who we're talking about most of the time and she did the same...and bro when she her dad and mine work together and she knows my dad and sis for years I was a bit shocked...like yeah it's normal to be close with the people you work with...but mine dad has a bad habit of talking about my private life in public like it's the most interesting story he had to tell...that why I don't like him...but yeah return to the topic I turn back to the professor who talking telling me stories about the time when I stop taking the classes with them and how almost everyone of them asked the professors about me...I was like why? ...then he said I was the smartest in the class...bro I look at the professor with sus eyes like are you comedy me? Yeah, I was not the weakest but I was not the smartest either... maybe around the middle...and then he goes I used to study all of the time and most of my books were full of marks...I didn't say anything cuz he was talking but...i used to study during the class even if the professor didn't come cuz I was weak...heck man I needed to study for hours to remember just a few topics...and about marks, I suck at remembering stuff so I used to only remember the important stuff that I think would be useful for the year and also the next year's foundation...yeah like 11th and 12th class stuff are same only difference is the big elaborations...and apparently I was the fav students of all the professor...even I felt like I'm acting like a narcissist bragging about myself but hey... it's news to me...like I don't even know that any professor like me...forget about me being the fav student of all the professors...like yeah I used to like a few of their teaching styles and took their classes daily and did the alignments and stuff...but those are all the basic stuff every other student dose... I'm not the only one...so I was sure...the professor was joking and trying to give me an ego boost and wanted to see my reaction... basically childish manipulation...but I understood his motives and didn't show any reactions...after I requested him to pls sign the papers...and he did like the professor can't force a student to study but they can offer advice...but I got threatened...really he said "If your tuition teacher found out...god save you... don't expect any help from me...even I can't stop him now " ... I was hoping for a peaceful leave...but I got a fearful one...I literally got trauma...but I found out my tuition teacher had an arranged marriage soon so he won't be looking into his students' lives soon...so I'm off the hook for a few months...and it's not like I'm scared of him or anything...Wahahaha...well that's all it's around 1 am in India I will write again tomorrow...from morning till evening..."..."...writing is boring...really...many times you will feel just stop and do something interesting...but I already broke my promise...and lost many of your trust...I don't want to feel that kind of guilt again...yeah I got a bunch of free time to think about life...and the mistakes I committed...thx for insomnia...I also love insomnia...I dream a lot when I sleep...most of them are lucid...kinda interesting...but you feel tired after waking up from a lucid dream...good night I guess...I'm sleepy...just hope I don't get sleep paralysis...good night love you all and take care