Sugimoto Riko flicked another page of the album in her hands. Her eyes stayed at the picture of a young girl, happily smiling while sitting on a swing, She had a mole under her eyes. She scrutinized it with a deep frown. A moment passed and she opened another page. This time, her focus was a loving couple of husband and wife, both of them had a smile as they held their daughter in the middle.
Her rigid lips finally curved a small smile, though it was a disappointed one. Looking up, she slowly shook her head with apologetic look "I'm sorry" she said, strands of hair fell over her shoulder "I still can't remember"
The middle aged woman paused from peeling an apple, her fingers were trembling. The bags under her eyes had gotten worse compared to yesterday. As if taking a look at Riko's face cost ten years of her life, she looked older every time Riko saw her. "It's fine" she said, holding back her shaky voice "Take your time. I'm sure you can remember again someday"
Cicadas crying in the background, signalling the start of summer. Riko took a look outside the opened window. It was always dreadfully silent in the hospital, so the lively view became a comfort for her. From her perspective, everything down there looked like crawling ants. She didn't have to move an inch from her bed and still could see everything from this height. Without moving her eyes, she asked "When can I get out?"
"Thursday. Don't worry about school. Your father and mother won't force you to go, so just take your time and rest at home" The middle aged woman, Mrs. Sugimoto arranged the slices of apple neatly on a small plate.
Riko didn't reply, thinking school would be a hassle especially with her current state. There was a momentary silence between them. Both seemed to be preoccupied with their own thoughts. Until it was Mrs. Sugimoto who broke the silence with a soft whisper.
"Today is Toshiko's funeral"
From the moment she opened her eyes after three days of comma, it was her first time hearing such name. Everything was totally wiped out from her head, so she could only stare at the woman who'd claimed herself as her mother, her gaze inquired for the person's identity. Mrs. Sugimoto sighed, and heavily answered "She was your friend"
"Your best friend. She always frequented our house..." Mrs. Sugimoto bit her lips, tears suddenly welled up. "You two were brought into the hospital together, but it was already too late for her" she said with an expression of sorrow, to which Riko only replied with monotonous "oh"
There's really no room for sadness, not even empathy. The name was so distant it only sounded like a stranger's death to her. She didn't even know whose sake she should cry for. She thought, this Toshiko girl was really unfortunate, that her death was treated like nothing. She looked at her clasped hands, actually curious about this person.
"It'd be good if you could visit her grave sometimes"
Her last sentence before she bid a farewell left a strange feeling on Riko. The girl on the bed stared at the still opened album, unsure what she had to feel. She had no recollection of this Toshiko, not even a vague impression. But a someone's death was associated with her, and she feared her own apathy towards it.
She felt uneasy.
....
"Alright, here we are! Home sweet home" Mr. Sugimoto smiled while carrying bags in his hands.
Riko felt awkward. The double storey house had bigger space than she thought. The interiors and the decorations gave off 'a happy family's home' vibe and it was a shame she had no memory of such place. Hesitantly taking a few steps, she noticed picture frames that sat on top of a small table. A regular blue framed picture stood out as it was placed in the middle, a picture of a young high school girl with a mole under her eye, standing between the Sugimoto couple, a wide smile on her face.
The former Sugimoto Riko.
"I've bought your favourite cake. Let's eat first" Mr. Sugimoto's words broke Riko's dazed expression. He continued "You can unpack your stuff later. Do you want some help?"
"It's alright, thank you" she thought the sentence was a little off, so she added "....dad"
Mr. Sugimoto laughed "Sure, daughter"
The lunch was unsurprisingly quiet. The Sugimoto couple constantly exchanged looks with each other, communicating solely through expressions. This time, Mrs. Sugimoto looked at her husband, wide-eyed, before directed her gaze at the girl who was chewing her food. This clearly meant 'Go talk anything with your daughter. She is still uncomfortable with us'
Mr. Sugimoto was hesitant, but he still directed his gaze at the girl who was quietly munching some rice.
"So... what are you planning to do next?" he asked, lifted another piece of meat from the plate. The meat was stir fried with onions and vegetables. A simple but delicious dish that was once his daughter's favourite. He'd normally enjoy it while boasting about his day, but at that moment, he found that the meal this time was too difficult to swallow.
It took some times for her to answer "I plan to go to Toshiko's house"
Mr. Sugimoto was quite surprised. His wife too, had a shocked expression as she'd never expected Riko's plan. His tone became heavy "...when?"
"Tomorrow" Riko answered, all while keeping her eyes down on the bowl of food. "We were after all friends" The word 'friends' felt bitter rolling on her tongue.
"That's true" Mr. Sugimoto commented, picking up another piece of meat.
"Is this because what I told you sometimes ago?" Mrs. Sugimoto asked, felt bothered "Her family knew about your memory problem, anything that happened was never your fault, so don't blame yourself"
"It's not like that" Riko replied "I just feel like it"
Her parents only looked at each other once again, deciding to close the matter of conversation.
The food was good, Riko thought, she loved all the dishes on the table. The house was still unfamiliar to her, but she could feel a sense of belonging in this space. Maybe she can regain her memories back. One step at once, and she could call her parents with 'mom' and 'dad' without sounding awkward.
Who knows? She might even remember back about Toshiko tomorrow.