Dani can be seen turning all the things out of order. After turning all the rooms upside down, she went back to her own room again. The room was already messy, nevertheless, she still keep tossing all her clothes out of her closet, looking under the blanket and pillows and even the carpet. She opened a chest of drawers, checked every pages of her books, as well as the pamphlets. She flailed around, kvetching and growing despondent everytime she didn't see any signs. It should be fine. She should feel relief but even after that, her every day life seems to be crumbling away.
Following that, she was standing in a cramped area between the shower and sink. It is a bathroom with typical fixtures but she's been fixated on it as she keeps shaking the white towels and the toilet papers. Nothing can escaped her eye even the dings and scuff marks on the walls.
Several hours later, she rose out of the water as if she was caught in the net. As if the reality had finally sunk back to her head and the noise of the flooding water had crawled into her ears again, her consciousness grew colder and clearer. She turned off the shower that drenched her whole body, and took the robe hanging from a hook on the door. She then fixed her hair and clothes appearing unaffected. Looking at the mess of the scattered toilet papers on the bathroom floor, she thought she should better sleep.
The rain poured in the evening and went on all night. She listened to the sounds of the rain with a pillow in her arms. The clock on the wall was ticking its second hand. It was the weird wall clock she got as a present from Jun. He's always been complaining that she should hang decorations in her room. That time, she said to him that she doesn't like things that are not useful and are only for decorations, so he gave her a clock after that. She can see it's outline even in the dim light. It is a clock in a figure of a silly looking panda. She thought it was cute, a hint of a smile forming at the corner of her lips, betraying her solemn expression.
She watched it ticking, retaining her sense of time. It was already close to midnight. She's too tired but still could not sleep although she went to bed more than two hours ago. She always found it hard to sleep at night so she turned on the light but turned it off again like a scared animal who's not used to it.
The problem is not her inability to fall asleep, but it's about not wanting to fall asleep. Every disappearance of the sun added to her panic. Each new dawn introduces another day of running, watching, and hiding. There are times when Dani want to watch the world burn. This is one of those times.
As she lie on the bed like a weakened animal, endless thoughts assaulted her mind. She's motionless, but her mind is whirling in confusion. All she knew was she wants to destroy everything. So, she began to question things around her and even herself, thinking that everything seems futile and meaningless.
Dani struggled to snap out of her thoughts. She tried to stir her body that feels too heavy for her at that moment. She's aware that she's being lured in again in that frightening feeling. When she regained her senses, everything comes back to normal as it was but she can still faintly remember the feeling. The sound of raindrops was ringing in her ears. That soothed her a little. So she slowly took a deep breath, picked up a pen, and wrote in a piece of paper, 'What do you want?' Then she rolled her eyes, memorizing how things are in its order.
After that, she tossed into different positions. At last, she fell into a light sleep. The sounds of rain outside the window seemed to fade out. But she knew that it wouldn't last long as she would be wake up again from her bad dreams. In the mansion, the light was weak and flickering, hallways were dark, rooms deeply outlined. The little outside world was full of shadow and on the top of her mind played a dim light— shadows, fear, and ignorance.
•••
"Don't you think she's giving us a cold shoulder?" Belle asked and Eugene gave her an answer.
"I don't know, maybe she's still mad."
It was their break time and they were in the cafeteria. Dani didn't go with them and was left alone in the auditorium. Today, Belle felt that Dani was purposely ignoring them. She won't talk much and won't look at their eyes. She didn't answer all her phone calls since yesterday either.
She understood where she was coming. They did things behind her back. And it was something related to her. She thought that maybe they should have told her what they we're planning in the beginning and had convince her instead to follow their plan. Maybe things would have been better after that.
Now, Dani increased the distance between them and her father, Mr. Stein, has forbidden her from going out except from school. Bell did not think the case would reach her aunt. Her aunt is the elder sister of her deceased mother. She currently holds a high-ranking position in court, dealing only with important matters. So Belle didn't expect the petty case against Eugene and David to reach her ears. Upon learning of it, her aunt calls her father to her office and Belle can understand what happened after.
Her father had to bow down his head again to her mother's relative which he hates doing more than anything. Of course, Belle had a hard time because of it as Mr. Stein blamed his daughter for everything. Belle couldn't help but compare Dani with her father. The former was mad because she felt responsible and sorry while the latter was mad only because he felt humiliated.
"Are you sure she's mad?"
"What do you mean?" Belle asked Jun who has his face propped up on his hand.
"I don't think she's mad at us. It's more like she's mad at herself."
"With her personality, you might be right." Kenneth agreed and David nodded.
"I talked to her first in the morning. I got a feeling that she's blaming herself, so I tried comforting her."
"You got to talk to her? What did you say?"
"Well, I told her that it would be the same. That any of us will cover it up even with her knowledge. Since we don't want her to be labelled as a perpetrator of violence anyway."
"You! You call that comforting?! That might be the very reason why she would feel mad at herself!" Belle screamed and Eugene sneered.
"Tsk, from now on, don't ever try to comfort someone with your mouth."
Then Kenneth changed his stance as if he will beat someone up. "That's right. I don't mind being called a perpetrator even right now. Hehe."
Jun was so afraid seeing the savage look on Kenneth's face, so he immediately explained. "I was just trying to read her mind. Why do you think she never once address what happened in Belle's incident? So, I said it on purpose. She didn't give away anything though. It was a pity."
Eugene's eyes lit up at Jun's comment. "Now you mention it, I heard she went to the hotel we stayed at during the trip."
"Really?! Why? But first, how were you able to hear about it?" Jun demanded.
"It was one of our property."
"I shouldn't have asked."
"Since they recognized Dani as one of my friends, they asked me on how to deal with it. Dani claimed she left a very important thing but there's nothing about it in the lost and found record of the hotel. It's also been several months and a lot of people have occupied the room after that, but Dani was persistent and was even willing to pay a great amount just to check the room. Fortunately, no one was occupying the room at that moment, so I told them to do what she wants. After that, I heard Dani turned the room upside down."
"Don't tell me that's the letter she's been looking for?" David finally spoke. It was clear that Eugene and Belle told them all the things that happened after the trial.
"Yeah, but why now? Considering the timing, what is it's connection to the incident?" Belle asked, doubts forming in her mind. She couldn't even asked seeing how she is being cautious around them. She heaved a long sigh. She then switched her hands to rest her chin on her other palm as she heaved another deep sigh. She's thinking how after today, it will gonna be a long weekend.